More and more often, humorous monologues for women today sound from concert stages and television screens. A real breakthrough in this direction was made by the “Comedy Wumen” show. Yes, and women's KVN teams brought many humorous monologues for women to light.
Lady's irony: with your sword and in your ... neighbors!
Humorous monologues for women are often directed against the shortcomings of the fair sex. That is, the ladies seem to laugh at themselves. And this is the highlight that humorous monologues for women are so attracted to. Emancipated, not embarrassed to seem ridiculous and absurd, artists can see their flaws from the side.
Here is a classic version: a resentful spouse shares a sore point with her friend over the phone.
- And count it, he says to me: “You have no hobby at all!” I have it - and no! Yes, with my hobbies I can open doors without the help of my hands! And if I want, I can quite easily carry a bottle of champagne into them from the wedding and a couple of pomelo pieces. Well, citrus with them - let the "pomelo" be ... You, Ank, why are you picking on me? I don’t understand ... Are you for him or for me?
Fight, seek, find, do not let go!
A whole layer of ironic works is devoted to the problem of finding the second half. About how some ladies, humorous monologues about women, who always make the audience smile, try to creatively solve the issue.
Basically, a feature of most people is traced in miniatures: they represent themselves in a completely different way than others see them.
The second “trick” is reflections on the representatives of the stronger half, which organically fit into the woman’s humorous monologue. Ladies can talk about men endlessly! They just love to remember their past connections, share experiences, how to “tame” husbands, educate them. The search for the second half is devoted to humorous monologues for women, the texts of which are presented below.
Announcement in the newspaper about acquaintance “Puss in Socks”
So once the granny came to our editorial office alone. Well, God's dandelion is one word. She pulled out a completed form of a free advertisement from somewhere in the bowels of her skirts-jackets and laid it out on the table.
I took a piece of paper in my hands, I read. And just wonder! Grandma’s fantasy, it should be noted, is still what ... inexhaustible! The very first phrase enthralled me. Listen here: “My cat! An affectionate and caring cat is waiting for you in her cozy apartment, on a soft bed ... Hurry up, otherwise your place will be taken by another! ”
And although we have instructions from above not to get to our clients with our ideas and tips, I could not resist and asked: “Granny, why do you need this“ cat ”? You live quietly in your comfortable apartment - and okay. And then there will be some slander, smoke, scatter socks all around ... "And the grandmother answered me:" Daughter, where did you see the cats in socks, huh? "
Granny was really looking for a cat for her cat, but I really thought it was unknown what.
Humorous monologue of a woman about men “Fatal sexy looking for a half”
This text may be a continuation of the first miniature, since the action takes place in the same edition where the ads are received. But this time a very curvy lady came in a lilac short coat, green hat and orange scarf. The announcement said that the fatal sexy is looking for a soul mate. Okay, I clenched my teeth and said nothing: sexy so sexy, everyone has their own understanding of the word.
Monologue about the first spouse and about cabbage jam
And the lady sat down in a chair and decided to share with us her memories of her husbands past.
- My first husband was, in principle, a good person. Just really hung up on food. No matter what I cook, he always compares it with my mother’s cooking. "Cucumbers do not fry!" And why? Well these are the same zucchini, only immature. Why not fry them? “They don’t make jam from cabbage!” Strange ... They cook from a tomato, cook from a pumpkin, but not from cabbage?
I am a man of fantasy by nature. And I do not like to walk on beaten paths. In general, we did not agree with my first characters.
The story of a second husband and a suit from under the bed
The lady - fatal sexy - continues her humorous monologue. Men and women swapped places in her story. This adds irony to the speech: nevertheless, they are used to the fact that it is the stronger sex that sometimes allows itself to come home in the morning “under the hood”, and the charming wife ashamed him in the morning for his unworthy behavior. The stereotype is broken. Here the couple mixed up the roles.
- My second husband was German. By his punctuality, he simply infuriated me! "Drunk at night do not come home again!". Well, what is this statement? And where else can I go at night? It’s early to work, and too late for friends ... And when I wake up, the brain begins to take out in the second round: don’t shake the ashes into the sugar bowl, don’t look for a suit under the bed. And where else can I look for him, if I hung him there ... That is, I put him. Well, in short, he fell in there himself! A bore, in short, in one word. And with this we did not agree with the characters.
Monologue about the third spouse and lost socks
My third husband was an Estonian. With him, socks became our stumbling block. Yes, simple things like regular socks can cause a divorce! “I’m tepe-at-tal, the exact number of us-scoffs, each couple rolled up in stone by a trushka. Pa-achimu ani at tep-pya losing? How do I know why these socks are constantly lost? I’ve already started them right like that, curled up in a ball, into the washing machine. Again did not please! Here, my beloved did not like that the sweater changed its color. There was some kind of grayish, nondescript such. And it became - a breathtaking color! Actually, there we got a whole combination, we can say, a rainbow color. A designer find, by the way ... But - my husband did not appreciate my flight of my imagination. They did not agree with the characters and this. Now, now the last hope for you.
And the "fatal sexy" straightened her orange scarf, throwing it casually on the shoulder of a lilac short coat.