In society, mistresses are considered negative characters. People call them predators, homemakers, family destroyers, and so on. That is why it is sometimes difficult for a woman to confess to herself: "I love a married man ..." What to do in this difficult situation? Unfortunately, a universal solution to the problem does not exist.
Why it happens?
In fact, much more often than we think, the phrase “I love a married man” comes to mind for women. What to do in this situation? To begin with, it is worthwhile to understand why this happens. The answer is obscene. The fact is that sooner or later there comes a moment when more or less noteworthy men are already “ringed”. In addition, when it comes to true love, then no stamp in the passport will become an obstacle. Do not also forget that some unscrupulous husbands carefully hide their marital status, wanting to take hold of the heart of a sultry beauty. In any case, this situation is equally difficult for all participants in the love triangle.
The Forbidden fruit is sweet. A foreign man often causes more interest than one who is absolutely free from family relationships. Weak sex also has a hunting instinct. In addition, another factor plays a significant role: if someone chose this person to create a family, then he is definitely good (at least, it might seem at first glance). Thus, some ladies prefer to dwell on a proven option than rushing headlong into the unknown.
Why does a man need a lover?
What to do if you love married? First you need to figure out why a man needs this relationship. According to statistics, about 80% of married men have an external relationship. Moreover, many consider this situation to be completely normal, justifying themselves by the fact that males are polygamous in nature. In fact, the reasons are much simpler and more banal, namely:
- monotonous family life and routine force a man to go in search of adventure with a new darling;
- often after marriage, women completely stop taking care of themselves, and therefore husbands simply cannot resist if they see a well-groomed beauty nearby;
- some men like the feeling that they are subordinate to two women at once (or maybe more);
- feeling a tension and some discord in family relations, a man may resort to the search for a "backup airfield", where he will always be expected;
- marriages are not always concluded for love (moreover, this feeling may pass over time), and therefore, having cooled to his spouse, a person can go in search of a new passion;
- after learning about the betrayal of the spouse, a man can take revenge on her by resorting to a relationship on the side;
- Sometimes a relationship with a mistress is just a way to diversify your intimate life.
How to proceed?
So, you dare to admit to yourself: "I love a married man." What to do in this case so as not to harm anyone? To begin with, you should clearly realize that according to statistics, only 5-10% of unfaithful husbands decide to leave the family nest and immerse themselves in new relationships. Based on this, you can choose for yourself one of the following strategies for behavior:
- enjoy the moment (since you cannot build a family with this person, take everything you can from him: love, gifts, etc.);
- fight for your happiness (since a man has decided on a relationship, then you have a small chance for their continuation);
- find the courage to break off relations (if you value your reputation and honor, it is better to leave a married man, because in the eyes of society you will sooner or later become a real monster);
- treat the like with like (if you find out that the object of your passion has been happily married for a long time, try to switch to a new relationship with a man who is not burdened with family obligations as soon as possible).
It should be understood that this is a kind of problem if you admit to yourself: "I love a married man." The advice and recommendations of outsiders are unlikely to help resolve the situation. First of all, you need to understand yourself and your feelings.
Positive points
What to do with a married man? Since you have decided to enter into such a relationship, try to enjoy the benefits. So, the status of a lover gives the following positive points:
- you are not obliged to serve your lover (cook him, wash and iron things), and all the time between dates at your complete disposal;
- you have no obligations to this man (if you like someone else, you can switch to a new “love” without a twinge of conscience);
- a relationship with a married man is a sea of adrenaline and thrills;
- the fact that a man prefers you to his wife inspires a sense of superiority and comforts pride;
- if your chosen one is wealthy, then it is quite possible that he will take on most of the costs of your maintenance;
- often men do not save on mistresses (they give them much more expensive and valuable gifts than legal wives).
Negative points
What to do if you love married? There is no universal answer to the question. If you hesitate between feelings and conscience, perhaps the negative factors of such a relationship will help you make a decision. So, it is worth noting the following:
- you cannot appear together in society (only at the beginning of a meeting, furtively give passion and intrigue, and later they bother and even become humiliating);
- you run the risk of acquiring an implacable and treacherous enemy in the person of the wife of your lover;
- all the evenings, weekends and holidays you are most likely to spend alone;
- the status of a mistress in the eyes of society is very humiliating, and therefore you will feel at ease (and if everyone becomes aware of the relationship, they will point a finger at you).
Boomerang principle
Women do not always take due account of the recognition: "I love married." What to do in this situation? Imagine yourself in the place of his wife. It is possible that she does not suspect anything. What if she knows everything? It is possible that she suffers due to the realization that her husband has a lover. Maybe she is silent because of her children or her own indecision. Or maybe you are the cause of constant family quarrels and scandals.
You can endlessly fantasize about this topic, but you should always remember the principle of boomerang. How would you feel to know that your spouse has another woman?
I love a married man ... What to do? How to forget?
There is a category of women who will go over their heads and step over everyone in order to achieve their goal. If you do not belong to them, then you will certainly begin to strain the status of a lover. To forget about a married man, follow these recommendations:
- End your relationship and any contact with this person as soon as possible. No last dates or fleeting meetings are needed. The faster you cut this knot, the easier you can regain your peace of mind.
- Destroy anything that reminds you of this relationship. Delete phone numbers and correspondence, get rid of gifts (if things are valuable, then they can be sold).
- Do not start a new relationship with the first comer. Wait until the old feelings have completely cooled down and find someone who will be truly worthy of you.
- Try to get distracted and change your environment, find a new hobby, make interesting acquaintances. For example, you can go on a trip. In a word, you need to do everything that will save you from thoughts of unhappy love.
And if this is fate?
A difficult and responsible step is a relationship with a married man. Should I meet him? If this is the love of your life, then it’s probably worth the risk. Perhaps you will become for him the faithful companion that everyone dreams of. It is possible that your lover’s wife also has an external relationship. Thus, divorce will not be a tragedy, but the beginning of a new happy life for all characters.
Is such a scenario possible? Of course! The assertion that marriages are made in heaven is not always true. Perhaps his first legal relationship is nothing more than a mistake of youth. Someone marries against their parents, someone under pressure, someone out of stupidity, and someone because of children. In any case, if a man is unhappy in marriage, then with or without your help, he will still leave the family. The main thing is to correctly guess his intentions.
Specialist help
So, you more and more often say to yourself: "I love a married man." What to do? The advice of a psychologist in this case would be most welcome. You need to share your problems, otherwise you can simply wallow in them. If you do not have a reliable girlfriend with whom you could talk heart to heart, it is worth contacting a specialist. The psychologist will ask you to answer the following questions:
- Even if you save a man from domestic routine and unloved (possibly unfaithful) spouse with your love, you still put yourself in an extremely humiliating position. Think, are you ready for this man to sink in the eyes of others?
- Surrendering completely to the hands of an unfaithful family man, you lose valuable time that you could spend on creating your own family. Is it worth it to punish yourself?
- If a man has children, then they will surely be the first to suffer after the father leaves the family. Remember your childhood and your family. Wouldn’t you be ashamed?
- Quite often, men scatter in promises to divorce their wife and create a new happy family with their mistress. But why has he still not done this?
You must answer not to the psychologist, but to yourself. If you are honest with yourself, you can make the right decision.
conclusions
No matter how women drive such thoughts from themselves, many admit to themselves: "I love married." What to do in a difficult situation, the psychologist will tell you, as well as your own conscience. Before starting such a relationship, you need to very well analyze the situation. Of course, there is a small chance that you will find the love of your life, but in most cases everything is limited to the humiliating status of a lover.