What attracts girls to guys? Probably there is no such young man who would not ask this question at least once in his life. Most young men are sure that their appearance is important. Therefore, they try to look as cool as possible.
However, in reality, the way the guys look is secondary. Of course, facial features and figure should not cause disgust. But it’s not the appearance that attracts the girls in guys, but the manner of communication. Young ladies should be interested next to the young men. If a girl is pleased to talk with a young man, then she will go on a date with him with great pleasure.
Not without reason did the people say that men love with their eyes, and women with their ears. Therefore, if a guy wants to be popular with girls or to conquer only one of them, he needs to learn how to flirt. This skill is useful not only in direct communication, but also in correspondence.
What you need to know about flirting?
A young man about to master the science of seduction should remember a couple of simple axioms:
- there are no identical women in the world;
- There are no universal methods of flirting.
In other words, there is no single template or set of rules to follow when communicating with girls. What interests one is quite capable of disappointing and pushing the other.
Accordingly, the main rule of flirting is attention to the girl. There are no insignificant trifles, everything is important. A true master of flirting does not just notice the reactions of a woman; at a certain stage of communication, he already foresees them with ease.
What to look for in correspondence?
Of course, in how to flirt with a girl by correspondence, there is a specificity. After all, one cannot evaluate poses, gestures, facial expressions. What should you pay attention to?
The vast majority of young men are sure that they should follow the speed of the girl's answers. There is a certain amount of truth in this belief, because if the interlocutor is interested in communication, then she answers almost instantly. However, in reality, the speed of answers is not an indicator of interest in either the conversation or the guy himself. A girl can respond quickly only because at the given moment she is bored and has nothing to do. Long pauses between messages may indicate that the interlocutor is busy, and not that she does not like the topic of the conversation or the young man himself.
So how to flirt with a girl by correspondence, if you should not pay special attention to the speed of her answers? What gives out interest and what speaks of indifference? You can understand how much a girl is involved in communication by the manner of her answers and their design. The more a girl uses smiles and stickers, the better. Of course, only if they supplement the proposals, and not replace them.
You should pay attention to how talkative the interlocutor is. There are not so many silent people in the world. If a girl rarely answers and is laconic or even gets off with visual effects, then it is urgent to change the style and topic of the conversation.
How to communicate? Is it worth it to talk about yourself?
There is no single template for how to flirt with a girl in correspondence. You need to be sensitive to the interlocutor, to be careful and focus solely on her reaction. Pen pal flirting is like managing a sailboat. That is, the young man's task is to set sail in the direction of the wind, and not against it.
Do I need to tell my interlocutor about myself? In how to flirt with a girl by correspondence, the same stereotypes and psychological techniques apply as in live communication. This means that the interlocutor should speak, and the young man should listen and “push” to continue the conversation, noticing the fading interest of the girl in time. The specificity of the correspondence is that there are usually no particularly long monologues in it. As a rule, people exchange short messages, meaning nothing, playful phrases. Accordingly, phrases from the girl should be at least twice as much in the chat as from the boy.
Accordingly, lengthy stories about oneself are not appropriate. Of course, if a girl takes an interest in something, then she should answer, she does not need to make a “riddle” out of her person. However, one cannot lose leadership in a dialogue. Flirtation, although it implies reciprocity, but the man has the “main role” in it. He is a seducer, not his interlocutor.
What should never be done? Flirting Failure Example
Although there’s nothing complicated about flirting with each other, many guys make a number of mistakes at first. The most common of these is an exaggeration of one's own capabilities, incomes, and virtues. Not everyone is able to avoid the temptation to embellish reality. And not always lies without consequences.
An example is the following situation. The young man lied that he had a car. He communicates with a girl living in the same city. And one of the days between them there is such a dialogue:
J: Where are you now?
M: At McDee, I'm having lunch. Finish, go ride.
J: Yes? I'm at McDee too. Where's your car, man?
The guy, of course, felt very ashamed, and he stopped communicating with the girl. At the same time, it remained unknown whether the interlocutor asked him where the car was parked or simply quoted a phrase from a cult American film.
Accordingly, something that never needs to be done while flirting by correspondence is to embellish reality. Although the temptation to seem steep and rich is very great, the consequences of such a lie cannot be avoided.
What attracts girls to communication?
How to learn to flirt with a penpal girl? What to talk about with her? When to write messages? Do you use smiles? What topics to choose to start a dialogue? These and many other questions concern almost all the young men who spend most of their time at the computer. In fact, the ability to flirt with a girl by correspondence is not much different from that which allows you to build live communication with the fair sex.
The conversation should not strain, cause discomfort or psychological inconvenience. Therefore, serious or specific topics should be avoided. Of course, communication should deliver positive emotions.
Girls like guys who sensitively catch the mood of their interlocutors, who can both laugh and show empathy, tact. Of course, one should not forget about compliments.
Accordingly, girls in communication are attracted by the presence of understanding on the part of the guy or the illusion of this. That is, in order to please a girl, you need to joke, be interested in her mood, tell funny news and, on the whole, bring positive and diversity into her life. But at the same time, one must be sensitive to her worries and grievances, be able to sympathize and console.
What should not be forgotten?
Flirting in correspondence with a girl saves the young man from many troubles that courtship requires in ordinary life. For example, he does not have to spend money on bouquets of flowers and movie tickets, visiting cafes.
However, the lack of real communication does not mean at all that one should forget about gallantry. You should start daily correspondence with an already familiar girl not with the banal expression “Hello, how are you?”, But with a good morning, a bouquet of flowers and a cup of coffee. Of course, a bouquet and coffee are emoticons or pictures found on the Internet. After this message, you do not need to dive into correspondence, you should go about your business. A girl whose morning begins with flowers and a cup of coffee "in bed", even if fake, will look forward to the evening and will gladly begin to communicate with the young man on any topic.
How to get to know a girl and start chatting with her?
In the virtual space there are a lot of different services specializing in “dating organization”. If a young man wants to attract the attention of a girl on one of these sites, then no tricks will be needed for this. It is enough just to turn to the woman you like, say hello to her and ask about something. The conversation will necessarily begin.
But how to start flirting with a pen-pal from dating sites, for example, on social networks? To begin with, you should study her interests and start visiting the pages of the groups she is viewing. It is necessary to put “like” marks in the same place where the girl does it. As soon as she leaves a comment under any post, it should be supported and developed. Thus, the acquaintance will begin “by chance” and logically go into private correspondence.
The main convenience of this method is that you do not need to come up with "original" phrases and themes. Correspondence will begin quite naturally and will not require any effort.
How to flirt with a pen pal? Good communication example
Quite often, young men who do not have much experience in communicating with girls in ordinary life or in the virtual space look for examples of successful dialogs and try to “copy” them. This is a pretty good way to learn how to make an acquaintance on your own and develop relationships. However, one should not forget that flirting does not recognize patterns. During the conversation, you need to focus not on the “sample” of the dialogue, but on the mood and reactions of the girl.
An example of a good and simple flirt:
M: Good evening, how was your weekend?
J: Hi, how can I tell you ...
M: Could it be better or worse?
J: It might not be so boring.
M: Well, you are not alone in this.
J: What are you? Probably went to the club himself?
M: Even in two clubs, but I swear to you, I missed you very much there. Fair.
The girl sends “laughing” emoticons and the conversation smoothly flows into the discussion of plans for next week.
Why is this dialogue good? Firstly, it began with a polite and gallant phrase, which creates the impression of a writer as an adult and self-sufficient person who shows attention to a girl. The slight irony in the following phrase “knocks down” pessimism and apathy from her interlocutor, which her abstract answer gives out. This is followed by a provocation, ending with a veiled compliment and a hint of feelings. At the same time, the guy does not use any special tricks or “special phrases”.
How not to flirt through correspondence? Bad Communication Examples
Examples of flirting with a pen pal can not only clearly show how to communicate, but also demonstrate how this is not worth it.
An example of unsuccessful flirting:
M: Hello, how are you?
J: Going to the store.
M: What did you do yesterday? You were not online.
J: I went to the movies.
M: And how?
J: Ok, I liked it.
M: Well, let's get in touch.
What is wrong with this conversation? Firstly, the guy begins it with a fairly familiar phrase that is appropriate when communicating with friends, and not with a lady of the heart. With such a greeting, he immediately psychologically assigns the girl the role of a friend, respectively, and she does not consider him as a potential gentleman. The second phrase is reminiscent of an interrogation arranged by parents for children. You can take an interest in what the girl was doing in a more gallant form.
With his third proposal, the guy gives out complete indifference to the interests and tastes of the interlocutor. One should ask what movie she watched and what she thought of him. Of course, the answer he receives is completely "template", devoid of personality coloring, emotions. And, finally, the youngest’s biggest mistake was that he practically “chopped off” the conversation.
This dialogue demonstrates the manner of communication of such a "beginner macho." The guy, perhaps, is not an egoist, but simply hesitates or hides his insecurity behind ostentatious bravado and stereotypical phrases “about nothing”. Such conversations never lead to a romantic relationship, because they are boring and do not require continuation.
What can spoil a successful flirtation?
It often happens that the correspondence following a successful acquaintance gradually disappears. People begin to leave messages less often, and then completely stop communicating. Why is this happening?
Flirting is easy and fun communication, which implies mutual interest of the parties. His "worst enemies" are boredom, lack of sincerity, far-fetched phrases. This should not be forgotten when considering options for what to talk with the girl about and how to do it.