The times when parents married young people completely young and innocent have long passed. We are not in a hurry to marry, but we may have more than one relationship with the opposite sex before marriage. On this occasion, a logical question arises: how to be better than the former?
I want the man in a relationship with you to think only about you, and not about his previous relationships and about their main participant. What does it mean to be the best, and is it worth chasing it to be happy in a relationship? Let's talk about this in this post.
Best the enemy of the good
Regrettably, we often strive to be the best in everything. Why is it "regrettable"? Because desire is largely unnatural. Perhaps our upbringing is to blame - very often parents from childhood inspire their kids that either they are already the best or should be so.
But remember that being the best does not mean being happy. The concept of āmost beautifulā or āmost intelligentā is very arbitrary, and trying to get such a label, a girl can sacrifice a lot, and in particular herself and her personality.
How to be better than others? And who exactly is better? And in what? Do you want to be prettier than Masha from a neighboring yard, itās better to cook than Katyaās neighbor and make fun of a friend of Marinaās funnier? Even if there was some measure that would quantify each of your dignity, believe that you are magnificent and unique in the form in which you are. Be yourself - this is the main condition for being the best!
But this, of course, does not mean that there is no need to strive for anything. If you realize that you need to improve your body and exercise or read more to be more educated, then do it. But remember that this makes sense specifically for your development, and not in order to be more attractive to some young man.
How to become better than the former and conquer him?
There is nothing seditious to fight for a man you like and subdue him. The times when the ladies dutifully waited for their prince at the window, passed. Now the girls āgoā first and win. But is there any pleasure in āfightingā for a man? Is it not possible that the conquered will not belong entirely to you, but rather, will feel like a captive of your bonds of love?
We will consider below ways to improve (as much as possible), but advice will be with the caveat in which case your efforts may be in vain.
Past relationships that interfere with your present
Suppose you love yourself the way you are, and therefore do not strive for unnecessary improvement. You met a worthy young man and entered into a relationship. And ... you feel that past relationships are aggressively interfering in your life. The young man continually commemorates his ex-passion with a kind word, and you get only criticism. Inadvertently, the thought arises: how to be better than the former? Letās figure out how to do it and whether it is necessary to strive for it at all.
Is it worth learning to cook?
You make good money and think that itās already good that you can open yogurt yourself or cut a sausage. If the joke that the hostess managed the best mayonnaise is about you, then the young manās dissatisfied comments that the ex-girlfriendās borscht was simply delicious, and it would be nice for you to take an example from her, are not without reason. The answer to the question: "How to become better than his ex?" has a definite answer: "Learn to cook!" Girls were born in order to be feminine, beautiful and magnificent custodians of the hearth. Men are pleased that women are building a career and working, but this does not relieve women of the obligation to feed their households.
Therefore, if you really want to be better in this particular case, take a few free workshops from a friend, mom or grandmother. If you understand that this is not for you, then the relationship will probably not work out - which girl will tolerate constant comparisons with her ex not in her favor?
To be more beautiful (slimmer, sportier)?
Everything seems to be okay in your relationship. But the beloved from time to time looks at the photo of the ex-passion with a sad sigh, and then looks at you displeasedly. Here you need to figure it out.
How to be better than the former? Is it necessary? Suppose your appearance is not perfect even in your opinion - a few extra kilos, a lack of delicate taste in clothes or an upturned nose. But do you know that a loving look turns flaws into cute highlights of a beloved?
If a young man is completely in love with you and offers to do fitness with him, so that you become healthier and more beautiful, this is one thing. Itās good if he offers you to try on something new from clothes and leads you on shopping. If your beloved invites you to go to the gym for the reason that you do not meet his ideal, then the matter is bad. When you get the figure of his dreams (notice, not yours), it turns out that it would not hurt you to do rhinoplasty, hair extensions, or something else.
How to be You can become better than others only for a short period of time, until someone more interesting appears on the horizon of your chosen one's attention. And then they will set a new goal for you - learn the language, attend yoga courses or insert implants in the ass. Of you they will obstinately sculpt Galatea, who, however, cannot have her own opinion or desires.
How to be a good lover?
Sexual life is also no longer shameful and very delicate. Partners can and should talk to each other about their desires, preferences, fantasies. This contributes to your rapprochement and a comfortable pastime. But you must admit, the difference is huge - either they offer you to be more relaxed, or they compare (not in your favor) with an ex-girlfriend.
How to be a good lover? The answer is universal - be as relaxed as possible, follow your desires, do not do what seems unnatural or unpleasant to you. Tips like āthink about a partnerā should be taken away - when you think about someone, you become enslaved, and you begin to overly monitor the process.
But be careful about comparisons. If someone else is present in your bed with the chosen one, then the situation may not change. Love yourself and respect! No matter how good a young man is, know that in any case you deserve to be the only one!
Develop intelligence
It is very unpleasant if a man reproaches you with stupidity. Well, of course, because he defended more than one dissertation and last year was nominated for a Nobel Prize, so everything fits together! Not? So why does this young man allow himself to rebuke you in something? Is he smart in all areas of knowledge? Suppose you do not know some laws of physics or are not strong in geography, but you must admit that there is something in which you are an ace! For example, you know all the actors of our time, you know how to cook or really love to read. There are no people who know everything. Any successful scientist became such only because he completely devoted himself to the study of a topic of interest to him, abstracting from everything else.
Therefore, if you are reproached with stupidity compared to an ex-girl, then this dilemma is unsolvable. How to be better than the former in this situation? No way. No matter how much you read, you will not become smart enough in his eyes.
Present tense rivalry
But what if a manās attention is not directed to the past, but to the present? If now someone else is fighting for the attention of your chosen one? How to be better than a rival? Remember that there are qualities that are not quantifiable. Why do we like this particular person? because he is the best, or because he has something special for us? The fact is that you can surpass the rival in all respects, be more beautiful, smarter, wiser, but a man who falls in love is still not in you. Believe that in this case the struggle is inappropriate. So, there is someone else for you, and you just have not met him yet. However, the meeting to be, it is inevitable!
Another component of success
Many pretty beautiful, educated girls are unhappy in their personal lives. Surely you have more than one acquaintance who is smart and beautiful, but lonely. Why so? Perhaps the answer lies in the following - this girl is not self-confident and does not love herself.
Remember that people who are claimed by the opposite sex are madly in love, and not with anyone, but with themselves. This is not about sick self-esteem, but about healthy egoism. Only if you value yourself, if you look after yourself and do not give offense to others, will you be lucky in a relationship. A woman who loves herself will be loved by a man, and former or current rivals will have no chance.
And finally
You got a secret weapon, the answer to the question of how to be better than the former. The component of the answer is that you are already better, that you are the best, unique and unusual. If your chosen one now and then looks back and does comparisons not in your favor, then perhaps those relationships have not just ended.
Meanwhile, each of us must develop and improve - not for the sake of someone, but for our own sake. Therefore, do what you like. Attend fitness classes, cooking classes, build a career, or just enjoy life.