Every modern person probably came across the concept of sadomasochism and probably shuddered when mentioning non-standard models of sexual behavior. BDSM culture is considered a concentration of violence, filth and lust, but is it? What does the public really know about the subculture?
What is BDSM?
Alternative models of sexual behavior are often misunderstood, especially under the influence of religious dogmas and imposed values ​​unknown by whom and when. Misunderstanding and rejection of society affected the culture of BDSM. The decoding of the abbreviation is as follows: Bondage, Discipline, Sadism Masochism, which translates as "bandage, discipline, sadism, masochism." In fact , this is not the only decryption option - depending on the understanding of the concept of subculture, as well as on personal interests and preferences, BDSM followers interpret the name in different ways. The decoding of the word "BDSM" may well sound twofold: the letters D and C can also mean the concepts of "dominant" and "submissive", the relationship of which is the "backbone" of the BDSM culture.
BDSM relationship concept
Hearing the abbreviation BDSM, most people imagine in their imagination a kind of vulgar lady in latex and with a whip, but not everyone knows that this model of relationships involves not just meaningless violence against a partner, but deep, in most cases, happy relationships. Yes, many BDSM followers get married and live a normal family, in some cases even abandoning the BDSM model of relationships in favor of the traditional one.
In fact, the motive of sadism and masochism is not the main concept of BDSM. The transcript indicates S&M as just one of the manifestations and opportunities to splash out sexual energy. Much deeper relationships can be seen in the dominant-submissive model. Again, such relations are not built on the constant humiliation of “sub”, their goal is not to assert the dominant at the expense of power over the partner. The submissive voluntarily transfers all the rights to his life to his “home”, thereby showing deep respect, love and trust in the partner.
Deciphering the acronym BDSM gives only a superficial understanding of what lies at the heart of the subculture, however, if you look at the model of the relationship between "home" and "subwoofer", you can trace pretty romantic trends. The task of the dominant is not to press the “sub”, but to help him to realize himself in life, protecting him as much as possible from adversity and treating him like a normal loving partner. A submissive, on the other hand, must implicitly trust and obey the "upper", realizing that only good is desired for him. These two know for sure that they belong to each other. The dominant feels responsible for the "lower", and the latter, in turn, tries to make the life of the "upper" as good and pleasant as possible. If the dominant is a man, think about whether each woman wants such a model of relationships? This is a relationship built on complete trust and openness, where both partners feel responsible for each other. A man - the master, protector and assistant - isn't that what every woman is looking for? A girl who inspires, supports and listens - isn't that what every man needs?
Of course, there are some really informal details in BDSM. The meaning of the word contains the concepts of sadism and masochism, and these methods are often used as punishment for misconduct "saba" or simply as entertainment in sex. However, here, knowing the measure and setting clear rules, you can see the romance, because every girl wants to completely belong to her man, which is natural in BDSM and is quite rare in traditional relations, where there is mistrust, falsity and relationship wrecking characters.
Basic principles of BDSM
For most people, if the decoding of the BDSM abbreviation is familiar, it is very vague, since society believes that the followers of this subculture are mentally unhealthy and need the intervention of brain doctors. Unfortunately, this point of view is widespread throughout the world due to the low level of erudition of people and the distorted presentation of information from the media.
There are three main principles, denoted by the English acronym SSC, which is followed by all the "adherents" of BDSM. Deciphering it is simple: safety, sanity, voluntariness. As you can see, bdsm sessions, if used in BDSM relationships, are extremely reasonable and safe for both partners. Let's consider each principle in more detail.
Safety principle
This is the main principle that tops (dominants) in BDSM should be guided by. The interpretation is as follows: each top should know the basics of anatomy, medicine, physiology, physics and chemistry, so that phallallation and other BDSM methods are absolutely safe for the "lower". As you can see, to be “in the subject”, a huge amount of knowledge and skills is needed so as not to harm the partner.
The principle of sanity
Also a very important concept in BDSM, the significance of which, however, is rather difficult to determine. The principle of sanity suggests that you should practice only those techniques in which both partners are well versed, otherwise this can lead to sad consequences. Whatever feelings arouse the top, this principle should always be a priority.
Principle of voluntariness
This principle works mainly with a stop word. The “lower” voluntarily transfers the rights to itself into the hands of the top, however, this does not mean that the “upper” can do whatever it pleases. All methods are good as long as they give pleasure to both partners, otherwise BDSM sessions can develop into banal domestic violence. The stop word helps the “lower” to make clear to his “master” that the limit has been reached and it is time to stop.
Stop word and its meaning in BDSM
As already mentioned, the stop word is a guarantee that the “lower” will not be subjected to involuntary violence. There are several opinions about the stop word in BDSM: decoding it for some means only a signal that it is worth stopping, but this approach is incorrect in relation to the "lower" one.
The only correct interpretation of the stop word is the following: upon hearing it, the “upper” should immediately stop all SM actions and completely release the “lower” one. If you draw a colorful analogy, then this word is an analogue of a stop crane in a train, not a polite request for a stop, because even if the "top" thinks that it is too early to stop, his partner may have a completely different opinion, and he must be taken into account.