Sex drive is a physiological feature of each person. It is especially pronounced in the first stages of a relationship with a partner. However, time passes, and many begin to notice that they have lost sexual desire. This problem requires attention. After all, a prolonged lack of sexual contact can lead to psychological and physiological disorders that adversely affect partners.
If the relationship in the family is strong, then the couple must definitely figure out why the desire for intimacy disappeared. To do this, partners can resort to the help of a sexologist or conduct introspection. This will preserve the relationship, returning to its former passion.
Problem studies
In the evenings after work, people rush home. However, the reasons for this rush sometimes have a significant difference. Some tend to quickly find themselves in the cozy walls of their home because of love for a partner, and the second is pushed by the need to wash the stove, paint the window, and engage in another routine. And what can we say about banal cooking? Even it will surely turn into real witchcraft, when not an ordinary meal, but a romantic dinner will languish in the oven or on the stove. However, if a person has lost desire, then he does not want anything of this.
Why does this happen? Indeed, at first glance it seems that everything in life remains, as before. However, the desire for sex disappeared, and the attraction disappeared. What is the problem and is it still possible to rectify the situation?
Sexual relationships play an important role in human life. After all, they have a direct connection with mental and psychological health, as well as with reproductive function. Violations affecting this area may well cause malfunctions of any systems and organs of the human body. That is why physicians drew attention to such problems. Researchers working on this issue have come to the conclusion that the physiological reasons that the desire to have sex has disappeared occur in 80% of cases of decreased potency. This happens due to the presence of any pathologies that cause malfunctions in the body.
But if sexual desire is lost, then in most cases psychological factors and mental problems become the reason for this. For example, absolutely all studies have confirmed the fact that a decrease in the level of material wealth in the family has a negative impact on the sexual life of a couple. Desire also disappears during stress, as well as under the influence of alcohol or a large number of cigarettes smoked.
A study of the problem was also conducted in terms of sociological indicators. The data obtained indicated the fact that managers of enterprises and businessmen have no sexual desire much more often than workers or ordinary employees. At the same time, the researchers noted some cases where the top manager not only lacked desire, but also had problems with potency. Moreover, most often this concerned issues not of a psychological but of a physiological nature.
Sexologists also note: often they find that the desire for sex in a female leader has disappeared. After all, such ladies are subjected to stressful situations constantly, and their daily routine is far from ideal.
Studies have affected people of different social groups living in many countries of the world. Their analysis allowed scientists to conclude that for a person who complains that he has lost his desire to have sex, the reasons for this phenomenon, as a rule, are not external factors. In most cases, this condition is affected by a sedentary lifestyle, irrational or improper daily routine, abuse of fatty foods and the appearance of excess weight. And it is not at all surprising that in such cases a man’s desire disappears. After all, representatives of the stronger sex have a decrease in the level of the hormone testosterone. And this, in turn, not only reduces sexual desire, but also reduces potency. An incorrect lifestyle negatively affects the hormonal background of a woman, leading to the occurrence of frigidity.
In the event of a problem, it is important for everyone to know why the desire for sex disappears. Maybe some disease, for example, the genitourinary, vascular system or heart, is to blame for this? Or is the reason behind family relationships?
Stress
If the partner has lost the desire for sex, then this does not mean that, along with sexual desire, love has also gone. Feelings may well be preserved. Only the physical component of health worsens due to the impact on the body of many different factors.
Of course, each person is an individual. That is why the causes of the pathological condition in people suffering from the fact that desire has disappeared are very diverse. Studies conducted in this area have made it possible to find out about the most typical of them that are found most frequently.
Unfortunately, in our time it is simply impossible to escape from stressful situations. The pace of life is accelerating, the flow of information and the number of contacts are growing, live communication is replacing gadgets. But that is not all. Children are sick, they have to pay attention to relatives, find out any questions in official organizations, experience difficulties at work and patch up holes in the family budget.
Sometimes it seems that a person is strong enough and able to cope with all the problems. However, as you know, activity and performance in people persists even under stress. But with regard to sexual attraction, this function can “fall asleep” so as not to take away from the body that energy that it simply needs for primary tasks.
Excess stress
Unrest and problems have a direct impact on the sexuality of both men and women. The researchers found that stressful situations that occur over a long period can lead to an excess of the hormone prolactin (hyperprolactinemia) in the spinal cord and brain. This causes a violation of many functions. For example, women have problems with the monthly cycle, and for men, with sperm production.
Hyperprolactinemia most often makes itself felt only after a few months, or even years after the incident. Stress caused by various experiences has a negative impact on relationships with a partner. It affects sexual relations, leading to sexual disorders.
Stressful events often cause depression. And it leads to the loss of sexual desire. Sometimes a person, trying to get rid of stress, begins to take antidepressant drugs. However, he cannot improve sexual relations with this. The fact is that candida drugs alone contribute to lowering libido.
Job loss
The loss of a source of livelihood is one of the most significant stressful events in the life of every person. It negatively affects sexual life. Indeed, against this background, quite violent conflicts often occur in the family. Most often, women suffer from this. Feeling of dissatisfaction causes them tension and irritability. After some time, physical ailments, headaches, discomfort in the abdominal cavity and menstrual irregularities appear. Women are trying to find a way out, seeking help from a doctor. However, the effect of taking the medicine does not occur. After all, the cause of the problem lies in a completely different sphere.
Other stressful situations
There are various life events, after which a person suddenly begins to realize that he has lost the desire for sex. A man, for example, may experience a similar state after the death of his wife. Indeed, often in such a situation, the so-called widower syndrome occurs. Sometimes it lasts 2-3 years. A man can return to sexual life only when he reconciles himself to the loss and starts an active life again.
Many women complain that they have lost desire after giving birth. The birth of a child is also a stressful situation that can cause sexual disorders.
According to the data obtained by the researchers, patients complain that desire has disappeared because of the following:
- financial problems in the family (30%);
- loss of loved ones (20%);
- dismissal from work or serious pathology (15%);
- divorce (3%).
Stress management
Is it possible to find a way out of this situation? Eliminate stress will help:
- clearly organized regime of the day, which provides time for rest and sleep;
- care for a healthy diet;
- getting rid of bad habits.
Stress can also be eliminated by taking medications. However, their choice should be done only after prior consultation with a doctor. You can also take the advice of folk healers, using teas from St. John's wort, chamomile, lemon balm and mint.
Fitness classes can help reduce stress hormones. Exercise should be given at least 30 minutes a day. Ideally, such training should be planned before intimacy with a partner. To increase the level of sensuality, according to sexologists, allows a walk that takes place at a fast pace.
Depression
Previously, such a state was considered the invention of rich loafers or their whim. However, to date, researchers have convincingly proven that depression significantly affects all spheres of human life, including sexual. Why is desire lost? Yes, because the whole world seems dull and dull. Nothing pleases a person. He does not believe anyone and believes that his life is useless and lived in vain.
Such sensations occur after depression that comes after any stress. But sometimes such a state arises completely imperceptibly and, as it seems, for no particular reason. Depression almost always leads to a decrease in sexual pleasure. A person begins to complain that he has lost desire, but he does not have any other emotions.
Depression Elimination
You can restore colors to the world and restore sexual relations. Depression is not a sentence, and it is necessary to fight it. First of all, when the first symptoms of this negative condition appear, you should go to the doctor for advice. It can be a family doctor, a psychotherapist or a neurologist.
As a rule, non-medications are recommended to eliminate depression. The patient is invited to normalize sleep, organize proper nutrition, walk in the fresh air, perform physical exercises and try to get positive emotions. But only in cases where such measures are ineffective, the doctor prescribes antidepressants. It is not worth using such medications. This is because they, as mentioned above, also contribute to a decrease in sexual activity.
Alcohol abuse
Drinks containing ethyl alcohol negatively affect the entire body. In this regard, we can confidently say that sex and alcohol are completely incompatible things. You can often hear the opinion that alcohol drunk before intimacy makes a woman more desirable and attractive. However, sexologists argue that this is not so. The female body under the influence of ethyl alcohol simply becomes more liberated. The lady loses her modesty, and her libido intensifies. From sexual intercourse, a woman tries to get full satisfaction, occupying a dominant position during intimacy. If sex is a constant, then it will be harder and harder to get satisfaction every time. And in the end, the thing will end with the fact that without alcohol it will become simply impossible to tune in to a sex lady.
The use of a large number of alcohol-containing drinks before intercourse negatively affects a man. Often such people complain that they have lost desire in bed. Sexologists attribute this to the influence of ethyl alcohol, which reduces potency.
Getting rid of alcoholism
If there are problems with sexual life in the form of a lack of desire for intimacy among those who abuse alcohol-containing drinks, then it is necessary to get rid of the addiction. Alcoholism will need to be treated. It is worth noting that this is a disease that has a chronic form. In this regard, the treatment of alcoholism will take a decent period of time. Moreover, a person can get rid of this addiction only if he himself wants to do it.
Children
A child in the family is a joy for parents, but at the same time their anxiety, anxiety and worries. Sometimes a family does not have enough living space. In this case, parents have to sleep in the same room with their children. Such a situation often causes the sex drive to nullify. Of course, if the child is sick, then he can be put nearby to pay as much attention as possible. The situation is completely different when a family simply does not have extra space.
Solving problems with a small living space
If the child is all right and he is healthy, then he can be released to spend the night with his grandmother. It will also be interesting for him to go, for example, to rest on a holiday package. For the benefit of personal life, the time can also be used when the child goes to classes in a music school, attends a tutor or training. And you do not need to immediately start cooking, washing and cleaning. It is better for spouses to spend this time together so that a woman who is tired after household chores does not complain that she has lost her desire for her husband.
Taking medications
Often people who worry that they have lost desire in bed do not even suspect that the course of drug therapy has a direct effect on the decrease in their sexual desire. This problem is especially relevant for those patients who are already over forty. At this age, the body becomes more susceptible to the side effects of drugs. A similar fact leads to the loss of stability of sexual reactions.
This primarily concerns men. They begin to complain that they have lost the desire for women. What medications are especially dangerous for sexual attraction? Among them:
- Medicines designed to bring blood pressure to normal.
- Andidepressants included in the group of selective inhibitors. In some patients, the active substances contained in such agents cause a delay in ejaculation, and sometimes it is completely blocked. Due to the long-term use of antidepressants, sometimes there is a loss of sexual desire in both sexes. However, it is rather difficult to assess the negative impact of these medications. Indeed, depression in itself, as a rule, leads to complaints of patients that they have lost the desire to have sex.
- Remedies for the common cold. With ARVI, doctors usually prescribe antihistamines to their patients. They are also used to eliminate the symptoms of allergies, inflammatory processes of the paranasal sinuses, etc. These drugs, which make the nose dry, are quite effective in treating colds. However, they also have an undesirable effect. They cause vaginal dryness in women. Why did you lose desire in this case? Yes, because sexual intercourse begins to cause discomfort. It is also believed that in men, antihistamines can cause impotence. Elderly patients are especially vulnerable to such side effects. The explanation is quite simple. It is enough to recall that women have a deficiency of vaginal lubrication over the years, and men with age will certainly come to lose stability of an erection.
- Antiulcer drugs. Unfortunately, these drugs also have a negative effect on sexual function. Their intake leads to the suppression of androgens - male sex hormones.
- Oral contraceptives.
The drugs used in chemotherapy, as well as many drugs that are used for HIV infection, hormonal antitumor drugs, as well as medications prescribed for the treatment of male pattern baldness and the prostate can reduce sex drive.
The solution to the problem with side effects
If, as a result of taking medication, the desire has disappeared, what to do in this case? The way out of this situation can be suggested by the doctor who prescribed this or that drug. Perhaps he will replace it with an analog, reduce the dosage or suggest a different dosage regimen.
But independent decisions should not be made. After all, each of these drugs is used for serious diseases, and their abolition can pose a serious threat to life.
Most likely, the doctor will tell you a way out of this situation. And do not forget that the side effects of drugs are usually temporary. They are completely eliminated after the end of the course of therapy or replacement of the drug.
Appearance
What makes the desire for sex disappear? After a period of living together, partners may experience dissatisfaction with the appearance of their soul mate. Most acutely this problem affects young couples. During the bouquet and candy period, the lady certainly appears in front of the gentleman with a haircut and manicure, in an elaborate outfit. The future groom, in turn, will certainly be trimmed, washed, shaved, combed, etc. Everything can change dramatically after marriage. Of course, having matured, people begin to treat their appearance more responsibly. And only a few continue to stick to their style. So, nothing can fix the old metalworkers. Only they themselves must be prepared for change. The rest prefer to look so as not to shock the society and their soul mate. But as for young people, after the dream has come true and the family has become a reality, romantic images often fade. After all, now it becomes not at all necessary to shave when you are not going to work, to do a fashionable haircut and styling, etc. What then can be a sexual desire?
Putting ourselves in order
When deciding to go through life hand in hand, people should understand that they will have to face the other side of the coin. And if one of the partners is interested only in external data, then, most likely, this marriage is premature. After all, family relations should be built, in addition to sexual desire, on spiritual unity.
Most believe that in such a situation, the best solution to the problem is to change the partner. However, experts say that ideal people simply do not exist. Even in a strong and beautiful partner you can always find a lot of flaws if you wish. Sorting is not worth it. Changing partners, a person does not get better. On the contrary, his complexes intensify, and as a result, he will be left alone with his grievances and fears.
In this case, it is not necessary to change the partner, doing the washing and ironing of his shirts and acquiring new dresses. Such actions will only lead to increased conflicts. You need to change yourself. But if, despite the attempts made, nothing was corrected on their own, it is better to turn to a psychologist for help. It’s good if both partners go to a professional.
Overweight
Often an impressive weight, especially if a similar condition has passed into the stage of obesity, becomes the cause of a decrease in sexual desire. Moreover, this applies to the one whose size is out of control, and the one who was simply not ready to see a shapeless mass in his half.
In this case, you can understand both. An overweight person rarely becomes an object of desire. Those who suffer from extra pounds often have a low sex drive.
Weight loss
How to get out of this situation? As a rule, unnecessary centimeters at the waist are amenable to correction. If a person sets a firm goal, then he will certainly lose weight. The most important thing is not to try to solve a similar problem for a short period of time. Achieving such a goal is simply unrealistic.
The elimination of one extra kilogram per week becomes absolutely normal. But at the same time, it is important to take an integrated approach, establishing a balanced diet, using physical activity and giving up bad habits, while spending enough time in the fresh air.
erectile disfunction
A similar pathology is also a common cause of decreased sexual desire. But it should be borne in mind that erectile function in itself is not associated with libido. Most men with this pathology worry about whether they will be able to have sexual desire in the future. Such excitement in itself reduces attraction.
Troubleshoot Erection
If there are symptoms of pathology, a man should consult a specialist. The doctor will identify the causes of this phenomenon and prescribe the necessary treatment. In most cases, erection dysfunction can be eliminated. However, it is important for the patient to consult a doctor in a timely manner and not to engage in self-medication, which sometimes brings a lot of harm.
Hormonal disruption
Maintaining a proper level of sexual desire is possible only with the normal functioning of the endocrine system. It produces hormones, on which desire in particular depends. In men, this is testosterone. Sexual attraction to a partner also depends on their level. Testosterone levels gradually decrease with age. And this process is natural. At the same time, desire also decreases. In addition to adulthood, certain chronic diseases, as well as bad habits and the use of certain medications, have a negative effect on the decrease in testosterone levels.
Women are attracted by a range of hormones. In this regard, a decrease in sexual desire can be the result of any kind of hormonal imbalance in the body. This happens, for example, during pregnancy and during lactation. The use of hormonal contraceptives, menopause, the pathology of the female genital area and other similar conditions negatively affects this process.
Achieving hormonal balance
Everyone must maintain their health. Particular attention is required to the hormonal system, which is an extremely subtle mechanism. If there are the slightest suspicions and doubts about her work, then you should immediately go for advice to an endocrinologist. If a pathology is detected, the doctor will prescribe the necessary course of treatment.