Kabardian weddings today are not only joy and a beautiful sight. These are unceasing disputes, and sometimes conflicts. The fact is that a traditional action that is fully consistent with ancient customs should last more than one year.
The groom's family first looked for a worthy bride for a long time. Then, through her relatives, she made an offer to her relatives. In case of consent (and they could not have given it right away), families began to agree on kalym. This was done slowly, but thoroughly. After this, bride's bridegroom took place, later - betrothal. All these actions were carried out strictly according to folk traditions, followed a strict ritual or, if you like, scenario. When the groom brought in part of the kalym, the bride could be taken out of the parental home. The withdrawal process is also strictly regulated. It is no less spectacular than the Kabardian weddings themselves.
The girl was settled in one house, the groom in another. Until the wedding, he could not see his relatives, and especially with the elders and the bride. Only after a long time the girl was brought to the groom's house, to the room where they will live. But she was taken to the common room only a few weeks later. Of course, this description is only the most concise compendium of this holiday. Rituals are much more extensive, more colorful.
But today, few of the Kabardins strictly adhere to them. Even the most beautiful Kabardian wedding today contains only elements of folk culture: music, singing, sometimes national costumes. And it is this deviation from historical traditions that outrages many Kabardians. What do the followers of ancient rites dislike most of all?
Kabardian weddings today
Today, as in antiquity, the bride can also be stolen. She is also settled in the house of relatives, but when her parents come, they ask the girl for consent. If she agrees, the Imam comes into the house and marries. By the way, many believe that Kabardian weddings should take place in the house, and not in the restaurant. This is the first feature. If the bride does not agree, she can just go home. This is also a feature of our time. After the Imam concludes a Muslim marriage, preparations for the wedding begin . Interestingly, the removal of the sheet after the wedding night, which is still practiced, especially in remote areas, is contrary to the traditions of Islam. However, few of the Kabardinians and other Caucasians know that. You can not connect men and women at a traditional wedding. Traditions require them to have fun separately.
And, of course, the bride must be hidden from prying eyes.
And what is the most beautiful Kabardian wedding today? This is a lot of luxuriously cleaned cars, fashionably dressed guests, girls in European dresses with bare shoulders, candid shots of the bride and groom for the wedding video. Is it bad? Someone thinks that “Russified” or “European weddings” are a disgrace to the nation, another step towards the loss of national identity. Others think that modern beautiful Kabardian weddings with a European slant are a tribute to the times. Who is right? Probably the answer to this question should be sought by the relatives of the bride and groom. Only they have the right to determine how much old traditions should be preserved, and how much to use the techniques of celebration generally accepted for the new time.