To all of us at a young age, life seems bright and bright, and all dreams are feasible. At such a time, I want to believe in the beautiful and the good. However, not everything always goes as planned. The pain is felt more sharply from an unexpected parting with a person to whom you just recently wanted to give tender feelings and love.
The following situation is familiar to many representatives of the fair sex: a girl is waiting for a call from her boyfriend, but the phone has been silent for several days, and with rare meetings, her beloved does not speak much, looks to the side. At such moments, I want to get into a serious conversation and find out the reason why the gap between loving people has arisen. However, clarifying the relationship is only annoying.
As a rule, in most cases, guys do not explain anything. They just walk away. But what happened? What black cat ran between lovers? Why have relations with a guy so sharply worsened? Was there any way to prevent this gap? All these questions haunt young beauties. In our article, we will try to give answers to them, and also consider how you can improve relations with a guy and avoid cooling feelings.
Causes of Bad Relationships
Before treating any disease, doctors identify the cause of its occurrence. As for the relationship with the guy, then you should do the same. What can cause a break? Why is the couple breaking up? Most often, a deterioration in relations with a guy occurs due to mutual misunderstanding. Girls, as a rule, look at the world a little differently than boys. The priority of the fair sex is romance and feeling. They dream of receiving tenderness and warmth from their lover. However, for this, the beauties themselves do almost nothing. You can not demand constant attention. This first tires the soulmate, then begins to annoy her. At this stage, one small step remains before the break.
Some selfishness on the part of the lady is permissible in the first month of relations with a guy, though not with everyone. If a girl plans to connect her destiny with a gentleman for a long time, she should be able to feel the line that cannot be crossed. There is no general recipe for happiness that suits absolutely everyone. Each pair has its own facet. Approaching her, the girl begins to experience a lack of attention. However, at this stage, everything can still be returned. How? We will talk about this later.
There is another reason for the breakdown. This is elementary boredom. The guy just got tired of the ordinary, he wants a holiday for the soul, without which his feelings gradually fade away. More often this is observed after a year of relations with a guy, although the terms for each pair are different in this matter. If a girl really loves her gentleman and does not intend to part with him, she should add bright colors to the grayness of everyday life.
Psychologists say that many women subconsciously seek to completely subjugate men to themselves. Such ambitious beauties after the first month of relations with a guy begin to control him, deprive him of freedom, demand from his beloved that he belong only to them. Dear ladies! Remember, in men, it can be said, at the genetic level, there is a craving for freedom, only in each of them it manifests itself in different ways. Want to lead him? Do this so that he does not feel your pressure. Pick a key for him, use the female trick given to you by mother nature.
If you openly demand something from them and make your claims, you can not even count on friendship.
At the very beginning of a relationship with a guy, a girl should understand that her chosen one has her own life. You can not claim a place in it by the method of accusations, insults, tears and tantrums. Take a closer look at your boyfriend, study his weaknesses, and find out his priorities. Only after that, begin to slowly equip your cozy corner in his life.
Once and for all, a girl should understand that in order to build a good relationship with a guy, a young man needs only that chosen one, who will be near at a difficult moment, will support him. To preserve love, you should completely rebuild yourself. This is the only way you can achieve a strong and serious relationship with a guy.
How to save love
If you get the feeling that your bonds are cracking, then you should not immediately despair, start blaming friends, friends, the whole world, crying in the pillow. As you know, Moscow does not believe in tears. Not so important, is this your first relationship with a guy or you already had a sad experience. In any case, it is necessary to constantly maintain interest in your person in it, figuratively speaking, to ensure that not a single spark disappears from the fire of love.
How to do it? The main thing is to conform to the ideals of your chosen one, to be always creative, cheerful, attractive. Do not allow yourself petty reproaches, do not speak badly about his family, friends, hobbies. Do you not like them? Then look for yourself another chosen one, and that which is now, do not try to change in one fell swoop. If you really love him, try to change something in yourself.
It is especially difficult to maintain a long relationship with a guy younger. The more significant the difference, the more problems. Perhaps at some point your boyfriend had a warm feeling for you, something in him attracted you. But there are so many young beauties around who may try to take your place. To prevent this from happening, you must always maintain a radiant and youthful appearance, and also not grow old in your soul, support your boyfriend’s hobbies, cause his admiration.
If the gap is already close, how to build a relationship with a guy? This is a difficult science. We’ll try to give some tips that may help you.
Take life easier
It will be most correct if the girl creates a trusting and warm relationship. It’s not worth complicating anything in this life. Guys love those girls who are able to look positively at life, treating everything with great irony. Psychologists say that healthy harmless humor strengthens feelings, relieves tension, makes the world around us more interesting and enjoyable. If you develop only the first relationship with a guy, pay attention to this fact. Just do not go too far, demonstrating your mockery, and do not try to cheer your lover with too sharp and sharp jokes.
Avoid Controversial Issues
Smart and wise ladies try to avoid all controversial issues. If you and the guy have significant differences in their views on life, you need to accept his priorities or look for another gentleman. You can maintain a relationship with this, but in this case you do not need to focus on questions and find out which of you is more mistaken.
If you have a desire to maintain a relationship with your loved one, do not provoke quarrels, constantly make comments to the young man, indicating his weaknesses. Do you love him? Then accept it as it is. Of course, if your only one has addictions, you can’t put up with this. But to achieve his method of "frontal attack" will not work. At best, you will instruct in your soul painful cones, and at worst, you will kill all the good that is between you and the chosen one.
Do not limit personal freedom
The most common mistake of young girls is the desire to control the life of their chosen one, requiring constant attention from him. This is absolutely wrong. Everyone in the relationship should have their own personal space, where you can spend some time alone with yourself. If a guy wants to go to football or devote his free time to friends, then so be it. At this time, the girl can take care of herself, put her appearance in order, visit her friends. After you spend some time apart, a meeting will be more desirable.
Learn to forgive mistakes
It should be remembered that all people are capable of committing some rash acts. As the saying goes, and the gods are mistaken. In this life absolutely anyone can stumble, therefore it will be correct not only to be able to forgive, but also give a chance to his chosen one to improve. Do not consider yourself a saint. If you are absolutely sinless, then your place is in paradise, and not in our mortal life. Even God forgives mistakes. Do not put yourself above it. The sages say that the bad is necessary in order to value the good more.
Of course, errors are different. Before giving a stumbling guy a chance, give yourself an honest answer, do you love him, do you need him. If so, then do not break the thread that binds you. If your heart is at a loss for an answer, better let the guy leave your life.
Be unpredictable
All men are hunters by nature. They must pursue their goal, pursue the trail, strain their own brain in order to predict the future actions of their chosen one. Quite often, the fireworks of feelings that have arisen in the guy’s soul extinguish the girl’s predictability and infantility. Men are bored with such ladies, for which reason relations smoothly begin to fade away.
Do not become a “read book” for him, in which the finale is known from the first pages. Is it really interesting for someone to read a real book if everything is clear in advance? Keep intrigue in the plot of your relations with him, be moderately unpredictable, indulge your chosen one with pleasant surprises. The main thing is to know in this measure. Know how to surprise, but do not bother your lover. Men do not like insoluble difficulties. They run from too complicated labyrinths of passions to never return there.
Form a unifying tradition
Psychologists say that any love relationship should have some kind of clue that will help hold them together. These “hooks” can be unifying traditions. Each pair can form them for themselves. For example, most young people choose some secret places that no one else knows about except them. It will be quite romantic to hide in such a place from the whole world and surrounding people. Nothing unites so much as little common secrets, the celebration of the first kiss, the anniversary of the meeting, the first intimacy. It all supports fond memories and strengthens relationships.
Keep in touch
A sure sign of a close separation is the termination of confidential conversations and communication. For her boyfriend, a girl should be not only an interesting person, but also a good friend. Therefore, try to become the person with whom your chosen one will talk about literally everything: cars, movies, music, parents, friends. Freedom of communication is the main thing that can unite and make you show interest in your soulmate.
Learn to quarrel
Very rarely, relationships do without quarrels. Sooner or later, the couple may have some kind of disagreement. During quarrels, it is not worth remembering about the past mistakes of the beloved, especially about those about which he confidentially told you. In no case, when quarreling, you do not need to speak badly about the relatives or friends of your boyfriend. If you allow yourself this, you can pack your bags. Even if you make peace, the guy will have a kind of marker in his soul, signaling to him that you are not the girl with whom he will be happy.
How to behave if there is a quarrel? Psychologists advise to go out, take a walk, calm down and think things over carefully. Perhaps you will see the situation from a different angle, which is no longer so dramatic, and the reason for the disagreement will seem petty to you.
Lovely scolding - only amuse. So says the popular wisdom. However, this statement is relevant only in that you do not need to be afraid to express your opinion. At the same time, one must also listen to the opinion of a loved one.
Be pragmatic
Some psychologists advise ladies to be pragmatic. You should determine what positive qualities you and your chosen one have, find out who loves and does not love, and then distribute responsibilities. Many couples prefer to predefine some rules in the family. For example, how do you begin to share cash expenses, how much you can borrow, how much you will spend per month, what you should definitely buy together, where to go on vacation and much more.
Some couples conduct so-called annual reports. At the same time, they discuss matters and decide what is worth changing on the farm. Of course, this sounds corny, but this approach will really help to keep abreast of the needs and needs of the partner, and this will strengthen the relationship.
Remember the little things
A simple sign of attention, a compliment, support will mean a lot to your boyfriend. Many experts recommend continuing to arrange dates, going out together for the weekend, and finding time for sex without fail. The fact is that physical intimacy can not only maintain relationships, but also help to establish them if something went wrong.
This is very important if the family has children. Do not think about the fact that as a child you tied a man to yourself forever. He can easily find a dozen others who are ready to give him an heir.
Conclusion
Psychologists compare the relationship between a man and a woman with the waves at sea. In this case, they are emotions, falls and ups, mistakes and forgiveness. Many different external factors affect the strength and power of these waves: job loss, relocation, death of relatives, financial difficulties. In order for your relationship not to begin a real storm that destroys everything around, know how to be a sweet haven for your beloved, where he can restore strength, bring positive things to his life, but always stay a little mysterious for him.