The history of irreconcilable confrontation of the sexes is as old as the history of mankind. Women and men constantly argue and compete with each other in different aspects of life. Especially many contradictions arise in the field of personal relations. In particular, women are trying to understand whether men can love.
Kinds of love
It is difficult to answer the question of whether a man truly loves. After all, love is diverse. Here are the types of this feeling distinguished by psychologists and philosophers:
- Eros is a passionate love based on sexual instinct.
- Filia - love based on spiritual kinship.
- Storge is a kind, gentle attitude that involves support and full understanding.
- Agape is self-sacrifice for love.
- Pragma is love under the control of the mind.
- Mania is a feeling accompanied by intense jealousy bordering on obsession.
- Filautia - love for another person, formed through self-love.
A little about male love
In order to understand whether a man can love, it is worth understanding how the character of the strong half of humanity was formed. Since ancient times, a man played the role of a getter and protector. The atmosphere of hunting and war made him tough and strong, but not gentle. It is such firmness (and even rudeness) that makes women think that the stronger sex is unable to love. But is it?
A man sees love a little differently than a woman. First of all, attachment to a woman and a family is manifested in providing everything necessary, giving confidence in the future, and giving a sense of security. Weasels, romance - all this fades into the background. If a man does not show tenderness to you, this does not indicate "dislike." Perhaps he is simply not confident or too shy. But feeling the best of you, he is not afraid to be soft and affectionate.
Conquering man
Can a man love? This feeling is characteristic of any person, regardless of gender and age. But the manifestation can be completely different. Given that, due to historical laws, the man’s personality is warlike, the process of “conquest” is important for him. It's about courtship.
Men, as a rule, responsibly approach the candy-bouquet period. To get the woman you like, the representative of the stronger sex will make every effort, be attentive and inventive. But when the “victim” is already entangled in love networks, the man changes dramatically. The gentle romantic prince becomes passive and even somewhat indifferent.
The secret is simple. The hunter knows that "prey" is not going anywhere from him. She already belongs entirely to him. So why continue to be active? Knowing this psychological feature of men, wise women do not allow cavaliers to relax, forcing them to wage a continuous struggle for a lady’s heart.
How to find out if a man loves you?
Women are often overcome with doubts about the feelings of their chosen one. Sometimes, even living together does not give a definite answer. How to find out if your beloved man loves you? This can be understood by the following signs:
- Help. A loving man seeks to protect his lady of the heart from any problems. This applies not only to some global difficulties, but also to the usual routine household issues. Moreover, a loving man does not need to beg. He himself knows what needs to be done to make life easier for the lady of the heart.
- Care. It would seem that opening the door, letting the lady forward, giving a hand, bringing a heavy bag - these are elementary rules of decency. But today men do not spray their politeness and care at all. But if the gentleman surrounds you with such signs of attention, be sure that he is not indifferent to you.
- Support. If a man is interested in your hobbies, respects your outlook on life, helps in the realization of desires and plans, do not doubt his feelings.
- New accents. Pay attention to whether the man’s lifestyle has changed after meeting with you. If he began to spend less time with friends, in bars or at the stadium, and spends it with you, it could well be a strong feeling.
- Respect. A loving man will not be rude to a woman, will not belittle her merits, will not blame her for mistakes. Moreover, a person should behave this way not only in the presence of a lover, but also when she is not nearby.
Why a man loves one and marries another
Do men love wives? As practice shows, not always. Sometimes a person lives all his life with his unloved wife, secretly dreaming of another. Why it happens?
- To be like everyone else. In modern society, negative stereotypes about people who, by the age of 30, have not started a family, still remain. Beware of judgment, the man hurries to marry. But when he meets true love, he is already bound by marriage.
- Too pretty. Ascending his beloved to heaven, a man may be shy to admit his feelings, afraid to be rejected. As a result, he connects his life with a less remarkable girl, to whom he does not feel feelings.
- The mistake of youth. A youthful impulse makes people go reckless. For example, early marriage. Over time, feelings may go away, but not everyone decides to break an unhappy marriage.
- Sluggishness. Being sincerely sure that his love will not go anywhere, a man can pull for a long time with recognition. In the meantime, a woman can find her happiness with another (more determined).
- Not a match. Men have developed a class stereotype. And if the prince can still marry Cinderella, the middle-income man will most likely not dare to confess his feelings to a woman from high society.
- "Mom said". If parents have power over a man, they can influence his life choices. In this case, feelings, as a rule, remain on the sidelines.
Do men love wives?
It is believed that the wedding is the happiest day in the life of the newlyweds. But with the course of family life there are many problems. In particular, many are wondering if a married man truly loves his spouse? If there are constant quarrels and mutual discontent in the family, if there are betrayals, then why does the spouse not decide to divorce? There are two main explanations for this:
- Men are afraid of change. Oddly enough, for all its thirst for adventure, a strong half of humanity needs stability. Men very painfully endure radical changes. In particular, those associated with a change in marital status.
- Men value comfort. Even if a person has a lover, he is unlikely to leave a warm nest, where it is cleaned, cooked, washed and stroked. As a rule, “on the side” men do not make such demands on women.
- Do not rule out love. Sincere feeling and affection are stronger than misunderstanding and turmoil.
How to bring her husband to "clean water"
Even after being married for many years, many women cannot be completely sure whether men can love. Psychology will help to open the veil of secrecy. To understand whether your spouse loves you, use these tricks:
- Waiting. Do not come at the first call of your spouse. Do not settle unconditionally on all his offers. Do not start a conversation first. Make him wait. Such a change is sure to alarm a loving person.
- Healthy competition. Make your spouse suspect that he has an opponent. Of course, you do not need to start novels on the side. Just be beautiful, cheerful and blooming for no reason. If the husband loves you, he will certainly take measures to make you fall in love with him again.
- Be busy. Stay at work or plunge headlong into a hobby. A loving man will appreciate even more rare moments of spending time together.
How to keep a man's attention
There should be no doubt as to whether a man can love. But feelings need to be warmed up. If you want your gentleman to fall in love with you again and again, follow these rules:
- Watch your appearance. It is important to keep fit, take care of skin and hair, and dress beautifully. Moreover, you need to be at the peak not only in public places, but also at home.
- Watch the speech. Speak clearly, and most importantly, competently. Also keep an eye on the content of your speeches. Gossip, most likely, will not please the man.
- Hold back emotions. Do not turn into a tantrum that loses control over itself in case of any troubles.
- Evolve. Try to grow in the career field or find yourself a fashionable hobby. Also expand your horizons by communicating with smart people.
The opinion of women
Women have their own opinions about whether men know how to love. Here are the most common beliefs:
- Men are able to love no less than women. They just are not very emotional. Therefore, feelings are not always noticeable.
- In fact, men are even more sensitive and vulnerable than women. But they are embarrassed by this, hiding their love under the guise of indifference.
- Modern realities are forcing people to push feelings into the background. Men are less and less listening to their heart.
- Of course, there is a real strong male love. But if it is not mutual, then it causes a lot of problems.
- The man’s ability for sincere feelings largely depends on the woman who is next to him.
- Love is either there or it is not. And all these differences are invented by men themselves as an excuse.