It is unlikely that one can now find a person who has not read horoscopes. But only in our century of science, not everyone trusts astrology, although in many ways it turns out to be accurate. But the ridiculous characterization of the zodiac signs may well interest even the most ardent skeptics. Reading joking horoscopes can pass the time, have fun in the company and even learn the basics of astrology. A light humorous form that aptly focuses on the basic qualities of each sign completely helps in this interesting case.
Aries
All the cool characteristics of the zodiac signs agree on one thing: you will not succeed in finding a more stubborn debater than this capricious and stubborn lamb.
Aries hates everyday routine, but he will be happy to spin around and give out his innovative ideas incessantly. Forcing him to do what he does not want is almost impossible. But there is one little trick. Say the other person will do it better. Then Aries will break into a cake to prove its leadership and superiority.
The fiery nature of Aries is noted by the funny characteristics of the zodiac signs. By the time that this person is ready to spend on the conquest of the object of his passion, he has no equal. A ram, he is also a ram in Africa, going straight through the jungle. Aries in this matter can even be called a rocket - it acts instantly, assertively and getting rid of his courtship is simply unrealistic. “You are attractive, I am damn attractive, so why waste time” is his motto in love.
calf
Here he is, a worthy competitor to Aries in the degree of obstinacy. This will be confirmed not only by ordinary horoscopes, but also by any funny characteristic of the zodiac signs. Moreover, fierce conservatism is also attached to enviable persistence as a “bonus”. Try to get Taurus to throw something out of outdated home trash and you will understand it. Whether it’s a spoiled disk, a notebook left over from school, or torn sneakers - it doesn’t matter. For him, all these things are valuable. And Taurus is a terrible bore: listening to their endless teachings, you can not only fall asleep, but also snore.
Representatives of this constellation are closed individuals. It’s easier to talk to the wall than to Taurus. At least by tapping it, you will hear a rumble. In the case of Taurus, the afterlife silence and ringing silence remain.
Taurus’s attitude towards love is the same as toward things - the more money and time he spent trying to get you, the more valuable you will be for him. And do not expect originality in courtship - Taurus conservatism extends to amorous affairs.
Twins
They are easy to do and think. Gemini from that breed of people who will advocate "for any kipish, except for a hunger strike." As noted by the funny characteristics of the zodiac signs, in terms of date of birth and character, these personalities are fully consistent with the eccentric individuals who have a whole company of winds walking in their heads.
Gemini's love of chatter is truly catastrophic for those who are not Gemini themselves. For many hours they may not be silent, completely ignoring the reaction of others. It seems that even at his own commemoration, the Twin will rise from the grave and tell a joke about the topic to the guests lying in a swoon.
The laziness of these personalities is as legendary as their conversational skills. Due to the reluctance to delve into a topic and study it for a long time, they superficially describe a particular phenomenon, picking up little by little. The profession that is ideal for them is one that will help you earn a million instantly and without unnecessary gestures. Oh yes, the Gemini needs a lot of money, because they spend it as easily and naturally as they chirp on the phone.
Crayfish
The natures are intelligent, soft and romantic, even if they look like a stale loaf, a brutal dork or an uncouth redneck. When watching non-child films of an erotic nature, they always secretly hope that in the end the main characters will get married.
A funny characteristic of the signs of the zodiac compares Cancers with their namesakes from the animal world. Like them, the representatives of this constellation, if they take a neat step forward, then immediately run back. They are indecisive types who, because of their caution, are afraid to even change - you never know what is on the mind of another person.
It is undesirable to sparkle joking in the presence of Cancer, because these people are sentimental and can be upset even because of the light humor directed at them or their loved ones. Satire about animals is the strictest taboo. They are more likely to survive the earthquake and tsunami, rather than endure black humor about unfortunate dogs and cats. It is also worth joking about love affairs more carefully and preferably in a romantic way - then Cancer will tell the story that amused him to everyone in a row for a long time.
a lion
The one and only king of beasts. He is proud and majestic, even if he is locked in a zoo cage. The wild cries of nearby animals do not interest him - he is an important person and in every possible way demonstrates this. If we consider the main characteristics of the signs of the zodiac, a ridiculous description highlights the regality of this person, with which it seems that no trouble can bring down the arrogance.
What is good for Leo himself is not very fun and pleasant for his relatives, because he needs a treatment worthy of status. In his opinion, those around him should already be glad that His Highness is nearby. The lion's aura is able to overshadow everything around with its radiance, coloring even the muddy swamp with the colors of the rainbow.
However, sometimes in the whirlpool of events that Leo generates around himself, he may not get at all what he would like. What can you do, such is the power of royal will. Want to recognize Leo in your surroundings? Listen to the manner of conversation: the use of the pronoun “I” with this type will exceed all possible limits. Not such a bad quality in our age for a person who wants to make a dizzying career, agree?
Virgo
True evidence that appearances are deceiving are the representatives of this constellation. It would seem that with the word “maiden” imagination draws us a sweet, fragile and vulnerable creature that sits at home behind needlework. Astrologers who make up the characteristics of the zodiac signs disagree with this idea. The ridiculous irony of fate is that in reality things are “a bit” different. Instead of a thinly feeling friend who has been supporting since difficult times, an ally in all endeavors, Virgo can easily turn out to be ... a serial killer. Yes, statistics say that most maniacs were born under this zodiac sign (what else can you expect from such neat people and neat people?).
Virgo can easily use her ability to adapt to her surroundings and always be emphasized by a polite and correct person to achieve her desired goal. Do not have time to blink an eye, and she is already sitting on the right hand of the director. But she will never show sympathy to the object of her love until she is convinced of the reciprocity of feelings and perspectives. But then, even after receiving a refusal, he will wait patiently: suddenly something will change.
Libra
Whatever the funny characteristics of the signs of the zodiac, by year and month, they all precisely determine one thing: this sign fully justifies its name. Libra people are constantly in search of spiritual balance, and therefore completely do not pay attention to the material world. Let someone else solve everyday problems, whether it is cooking, washing or cleaning, and Libra has more elevated affairs.
People of this sign are always thrown in different directions. Quickly catching fire with a new idea, they will throw all available resources into realizing it. They will connect a lot of people and create an event of national scale, but in the middle of the way they will get tired of all this. They will quietly retire, leaving others to rake the porridge brewed by them.
The inconstancy of Libra extends to love affairs. Moreover, for them this condition is so familiar that after betrayal they will not even be tormented by conscience. They didn’t attempt to destroy the family at all, but they started an affair. So worthy of forgiveness.
Scorpio
These are real poisonous infections. The ridiculous characteristics of the zodiac signs in verses and prose glorify their ability to break the hearts of all who are within sight. To thank in this it is necessary the natural charm of the Scorpions and their ability to seduce. This sign has the ability to constantly fall in love with someone, and each time "to the grave." The object of attention will be immediately confronted with this fact. It is unlikely that he will be able to turn his back on the original courtship of Scorpio, and he will not want to - he is a subtle psychologist and will certainly be able to find a path to the heart of his lover (or lover).
Scorpios are leaders from birth and are smart beyond their years. If the representative of this sign chose a goal for himself, then, whatever it is difficult to achieve, he will go to it with principled obstinacy. And let it be necessary to destroy everything that gets in the way - this will not stop Scorpio. But then he will build the new world after the chaos, with the same enthusiasm.
Sagittarius
People of this zodiac sign always achieve their goal, even if this does not happen immediately. A funny characteristic of the signs of the zodiac suggests looking at their symbol: everything will immediately become clear. Only now, if others get what they want thanks to their perseverance and hard work, does the Sagittarius help in this fair wind, which directs the fired arrows just at the bull's-eye.
By their nature, Sagittarius are true benefactors. Forever trying to pity everyone and feed the afflicted (and it doesn’t matter what the gifted themselves think). Their motto is “who but me?” This is a great employer. Well, Sagittarius will not mind if you load it with a lot of work. It is only necessary to hint that for the company it is very important that everything be done. And how exactly - Sagittarius himself will be able to find a way.
But do not openly offend Sagittarius. No, they are not vindictive at all, just evil, and their memory is excellent. All misunderstandings from kindergarten will be remembered to you. And, in general, they can easily express the truth in person, risking to get their own face.
Capricorn
This is a man-pendulum that always balances between two extremes, as the ridiculous characteristic of the zodiac signs claims. Children of this sign are characterized by adult seriousness and solidity. Capricorn does not part with these qualities even in old age. He rushes headlong into work, as if into a whirlpool, and pulling it out will be simply unrealistic. He will spend all his mental and physical strength even on a deliberately impossible task. However, if Capricorn had the urge to go for a walk, then he will give himself to this occupation completely, unrestrainedly having fun until complete degradation. You can save him from his sad fate only if you manage to divert attention to something more interesting.
Capricorns are incorrigible pessimists. If he is convinced that all the reptiles around are creeping, who have come to success on their heads or through the bed, then even if you count him on the head, you won’t convince anyway.
Aquarius
Verbiage spills out from Aquarius, like water from a tap. If anyone is able to withstand this stream for a long time and even be an interesting interlocutor, it’s Gemini. Perhaps you can still argue who will talk to whom in the end.
Love for Aquarius is first of all romance: walks under the moon, meeting the dawn. Get ready with him to conquer the ancient ruins shrouded in secrets - this is for him an indispensable attribute of courtship. According to the cool characteristics of the zodiac signs, such verses have no equal in verses and serenades. Aquarius women are used to following the dictates of the heart. If it tells you to be together, wait for her on the doorstep with your suitcases.
What do Aquarius value the most? Of course, personal space. They are ready to build a three-meter wall around themselves, if only they would not be touched, if they want to be alone. And no siege will help - Aquarius has made the necessary supply of cookies and will live for a long time and not grieve in his cozy little world.
Fish
If anyone is able to create an alternative fictional reality out of nothing for himself and those around him, it is Pisces. And for them, the fantasy world will be as real as our usual one. They can easily convince anyone. Baron Munchausen, for example, according to the characteristics of the zodiac signs, a funny Dreamer Fish, an inexperienced and timid little one, faded eggs.
Ask this person about anything - water the flowers in your absence, write a diploma for you - he will certainly break into a cake, but he will fulfill the request. Such an altruist was already ugly, there's nothing to be done. In love, Pisces are shy and cautious; they will walk around and around for a long time before taking a step forward. “Vanilla” is about them: sad sighs, touching gifts, awkwardness and tears at night, and, most importantly, all thoughts only about him (or about her). So if you are ready to take the Fish in love with you and lead it in the right direction under your elbow (and then push it forward with your kicks all your life) - go for it.