Today we will talk about the fear of a feeling of love, falling in love, which makes an obsessed person do everything possible to destroy relationships while still in their infancy, a fear that is becoming more common among contemporaries. So, phylophobia - what is it?
How is phylophobia manifested?
Philophobes differ from other people in that they only feel comfortable with those who definitely cannot evoke love. That is, with a partner who humiliates or despises - he does not behave like a lover. It is this attitude that makes a person possessed by a phobia feel safe.
But do not think, reflecting on the concept of "phylophobia", that this is a condition that is akin to masochism. No, a phylophobe for such perverted relationships, as a rule, is not solved, the instinct of self-preservation is sufficiently developed in him , and therefore most often he remains a lonely creature without children.
Philophobia: what is it and how does it develop
The trite sounding truth that “we are all from childhood” is absolutely true for philophobes, since their problems stem from children's fears of the events that the child witnessed. It could be:
- the difficult fate of the father or mother, the child blamed on one of the parents;
- coming as a result of falling in love with dad or mom in the family of a stepfather or stepmother. By the way, it is not necessary that they should be bad in relation to the child;
- the birth of a younger brother or sister who has taken away the attention of parents. Because of this, love for an older child has become something terrible, leading to loneliness.
But a similar degeneration of the attitude to the feeling of love can also develop in an adult. As a rule, the basis for this is the fear of being responsible for the one you love, and for those brought up in a tyrannical family - the fear of losing freedom. The fear of repeating the already sad experience of one’s relationship is not uncommon.
Philophobia: Symptoms
Philophobia manifests itself in the recurring outcome of any affection of the possessed. He, like others, seeks attention and care in a partner, but as soon as the latter begins to show them, the phylophobe in every possible way detaches himself from the object of his interest, goes into conflict, if only to break off frightening relationships.
In more severe cases, such people even try to disfigure their appearance so as not to become an object of love: they injure themselves or lead themselves to severe obesity. And sometimes they show extreme aggression towards the one they like, fearing that he will reciprocate. But if the partner is not only not interested in the phylophobe, but also rude towards him, the obsessed unwittingly reaches out to such a person, sensing that this is his “safe zone”.
Philophobia: treatment
As you already understood, this deviation requires the obligatory help of a psychotherapist. But it should be remembered that neither hypnosis, nor coding, nor psychotropic drugs will help in this situation. For healing, a phylophobe needs conversations that correct consciousness. After all, it is extremely important for him to understand how his philophobia arose, what it is and how to deal with it. It must be said right away that the prognosis in this disease is very good, since ten out of eleven people are completely healed of their excruciating state.