In the life of every woman, a turning point can come when the partner begins to behave strangely and refuse closeness. This husband or boyfriend doesn’t matter. After all, the girl first of all will think about treason and the appearance of someone third in a relationship. But do not sound the alarm and collect documents for a divorce. Let's find out why the husband refuses intimacy, what are the reasons for this and how to deal with it.
Try to talk
Whenever a husband refuses intimacy, there are good reasons for this. The easiest and most commonplace way to find out why this happens is to ask a question.
You, like no one else, know the nature of your partner and always choose a favorable moment for conversation. Ask him some suggestive questions:
- What happens in his life, at work, in training, with colleagues?
- How does he feel, are there any problems that he is silent about or is embarrassed to tell you?
- Why does the husband refuse to be close to you?
It is important to carefully listen to all the answers, paying attention to facial expressions, gestures, intonation. If a man has something to hide, then he can accuse you of distrust, start screaming, look away, make you feel awkward. But you must remember that all these questions are natural and normal. Perhaps the husband refuses intimacy because he is very tired at work or experiencing stress, or maybe there are complexes or health problems.
Redefine your view on sexuality
If the husband refuses intimacy, says: “Tired, now is not the best period”, then it is time to start worrying and look for a solution to this problem. The main reason for the coldness on the part of the partner is that you stopped attracting him as a woman.
Men are predators who love with their eyes. If every day he sees his wife, who dutifully lies on the sofa in home stretched clothes, then he loses all interest in her. Typically, this behavior is accompanied by the appearance of a female individual surrounded by her husband, who looks much more spectacular and sexier than his companion.
But do not immediately get angry and hate all the fair sex. Sometimes you need to stand in front of a mirror and look at yourself from the side:
- Everything old, full of holes and stretched - to throw out, send to rags.
- Go on a diet, stop drinking alcohol, quit smoking.
- Do daily exercises to maintain a figure. If you perform only one bar for 5-10 minutes a day, after a month you will notice how the buttocks, stomach and hips tightened.
- Buy sexy lingerie and don't be afraid to experiment. Only if your family is not conservative. Men love with their eyes, they like beautiful underwear that fits perfectly on women with any figure. The main thing is to choose the color, style and textile.
Add peppercorn to your relationship
Many women wonder: “A husband refuses sex. What to do?" It will be good advice to include sexual toys, erotic lingerie in intimate life. Do not be afraid to play role-playing games, to spend money on the acquisition of vulgar accessories, which with only one look cause embarrassment and blush.
Invite your husband to try something new, add anal and oral sex to your sex life, buy dildos and vibrators. It is likely that the man simply does not have enough incentive to start and want his wife. Try to meet him from work in a new sexy peignoir or beautiful lingerie, with cutouts and patterns in the most piquant places.
Always talk with each other, ask what your partner lacks in sex. There are times when a husband refuses intimacy simply because he is tired of a monotonous and unflattering intercourse.
Impotence - symptoms and causes
Impotence (erectile dysfunction) is a male disease in which an erection is impaired or a person cannot complete sexual intercourse. The main symptoms indicate an inability to maintain an erection, an inability to achieve ejaculation.
There are five main criteria on the basis of which a man can be considered impotent:
- He does not feel sexually attracted to a woman.
- He cannot achieve a sufficient erection, even with preliminary caresses.
- He cannot insert the penis into the vagina, even during an erection.
- He is not able to perform frictional movements for the time necessary for ejaculation.
- He cannot reach orgasm.
When the question arises, why does the husband refuse to have intimacy with his wife, it is necessary to think about his health and send him to a doctor’s consultation.
Overcoming constraints
If the husband refuses sex, then this is a reason for a serious examination. But most men are simply embarrassed by their problems and take them to extremes until various diseases enter the chronic phase and respond to treatment.
In no case should a woman condemn a man for his inability to have sexual intercourse, much less to laugh or scold. She should clearly and calmly explain that it is possible to be checked by a doctor as soon as possible, and then after a short treatment to restore a full intimate life. Let's get acquainted with the most popular diseases that can lead to impotence:
- Violation of the endocrine system. For example, a disease such as diabetes. Often leads to impotence. Diabetes affects the body’s ability to use and produce the hormone insulin. One of the side effects associated with chronic diabetes is nerve damage. This affects the sensitivity of the penis. Other complications are impaired blood flow and a change in hormonal levels. This disease can reduce sexual desire.
- Neurological diseases. For example, Alzheimer's disease, Parkinson's disease, pathology of the brain or spinal cord, multiple sclerosis, temporal lobe epilepsy.
- The effect of drugs. Some medications can lead to impotence, so a person should never take them or stop treatment without consulting a doctor. It is important to be careful with substances such as alprazolam, diazepam, codeine, carvedilol, metoprolol, tamsulosin, furosemide.
Interesting position
If your husband refuses intimacy during pregnancy, then this is not a cause for concern. Many psychologists regard such partner behavior as normal and acceptable.
This is because most men are simply worried about the health of the wife and child in the womb. Some are simply not familiar with physiology, which is why they are afraid that penetration can cause any harm to the baby. But if the pregnancy goes well, then there is no medical reason to avoid sexual contact.
However, if a man does not want and offers to wait until the baby is born, then do not worry and consider this behavior strange or shameful. You can practice, for example, oral sex, which would make it possible to satisfy each other without fear to hurt the baby.
In this case, it is worth consulting with a specialist by visiting his office with her husband. He must be sure that intercourse will not lead to complications or pathologies during pregnancy.
Hard work
In many forums you can often find the question: “The husband refuses intimacy! How to be? ” Psychologists, who often help to understand family problems, are advised to look at the situation from the other side before starting to panic and be jealous of all the females.
Be rational, soberly evaluate the situation. Do you have a mortgage, several children, and only your husband works? Do you earn less than your partner? Do you want to build a big house, but send your husband for several jobs and part-time jobs at once? Do you, as a woman, ensure well-being and harmony in the home? Do you allow your husband to relax from time to time by attending cultural events, visiting friends, going camping or even a gym?
This not normal!
Most women take men's activities for granted. The established stereotypes have led to the fact that the stronger sex is simply obliged to spend all their free time only for work and nothing more, and the girls should sit at home and raise children.
However, even after a hard day's work, a woman is able to anger and offend her man, forcing him to fix a faucet or refrigerator when you can hire a craftsman. It is likely that your husband is just very tired. And so much so that there is neither desire, nor opportunity for anything except a hearty dinner, calm, silence and sound sleep.
Emotional disorders
It is believed that men should be firm and firm, like flint. They are the solid foundation of your marriage and family life. But this does not mean that men are not prone to emotional problems.
Perhaps many women will be surprised at this fact, but the stronger sex is also injured, can be offended and disappointed. Each time the situation when you refuse to have sex with him, escalate the situation or cannot keep silent in a quarrel, leaves an indelible mark on your husband’s soul. And this fact is by no means a sign of infantility or excessive vulnerability of a man.
Remember! Representatives of the stronger sex are also people who have feelings and emotions. They experience mental suffering and try to do it without showing to anyone.
What is the reason: lack of passion, hard work, pregnancy or ...
Husband refuses intimacy? It's time to face the truth and stop justifying your partner.
Do not exclude the possibility that your man just started to cheat on you. As a rule, they are given out by simple things, behavior, manner of communication. How to recognize a lie and convict a third person in a relationship?
- The husband reacts to all questions strangely and unexpectedly. It can start shouting, blaming, scolding, reproaching that you are not getting into your own business. But the lack of sex in a relationship primarily affects the wife.
- He began to shave his beard / mustache / pubic area, although for several years of marriage, he was neglected.
- He became more secretive and irritable. For all offers to call for work or meet in the evening after the meeting, the woman may face aggression in response.
- I stopped hugging, kissing, showing any signs of attention, saying nice and warm things, although before this was an integral part of your relationship.
Finally
No one will solve the problem of lack of sex in the family, except for the couple. If husband and wife are interested, then they turn to a psychologist, sexologist and therapist. It is important to talk as much as possible, to seek a solution together and not to hide your feelings and anxieties. If something bothers, then it is better to say it directly. In no case should you condemn, laugh or scold for revelation!