Maybe not every ordinary man in the street understands them, but in the scientific community a huge amount of jokes is spinning. They’re jokingly "mind-bored" for any reason and for no reason, sometimes pulling in maths even to make love. We will also plunge into the world of scientific jokes and try to taste what constitutes this scientific humor unknown to hitherto simple mortals.
Example of jokes in the natural sciences
It was the scientists who first began to justify the fact why the sandwich always falls butter down, and the cat always lands exclusively on its feet. These facts did not fit into the theory of probability, and therefore were ranked as paradoxical phenomena and even got their names: “Law of a sandwich” and “Law of a falling cat”. In the future, they were completely combined under the general name "The paradox of a cat with oil." That's the kind of scientific humor scientists have. For some, these are jokes-jokes, for scientists, on the other hand, this is a accepted postulate, which is often found on the pages of scientific papers.
Shroedinger `s cat
Special attention deserves the notorious "Schrödinger Cat". It was through a fictitious experiment with a cat enclosed in a chamber with a poisonous substance (in this case, radioactive), Schrödinger proved the incompleteness of real quantum mechanics with regard to the transition from subatomic systems to macroscopic. In simple words, he described it as the principle of uncertainty. That is, it is not known at what point the cat will survive or die. It is not possible to calculate this, but to ascertain the transition of a cat from one state to another is possible only by observation. But until we look into the camera, it remains unknown whether the cat is actually alive or dead.
To an ordinary person, such an experiment would seem unnecessarily brutal. But in scientific circles they grabbed hold of him as yet another discovery, and then the whole world began to calculate the possibilities and develop the theory. In fact, it is still not known whether the fictional Schrödinger cat survived or not, and this experiment in scientific circles generated a separate branch of scientific humor: the powerful joke with their minds on a poor cat locked in a chamber, as they can, braiding it anywhere and anytime. For example, one of the simplest jokes looks like this: “Knock knock! Who's there? It's me, Schrödinger's cat. Let me finally eat ... ".
Science and technology jokes
The most evil joke was soaked by none other than Stephen Hawking himself. So far it’s not known whether he has such scientific and technical humor, or he said “in all seriousness”. The statement related to the creation of full-fledged artificial intelligence, and literally looked like this: "The development of full-fledged artificial intelligence can mean the end of the human race."
Apparently, scientists didn’t heed the warning of the pillar of world science, and putting this statement in the category of jokes, they continue to actively work on the creation of AI, while enjoying watching the feature films The Matrix and The Terminator, where even writers heeded the warning scientist.
The following will be a joke about AI, which the scientists themselves came up with:
“Scientists created a super-super-duper computer and asked him a question:
- Does God exist?
What the computer thought and said:
- Not enough data. Requires connection to other computers on the planet.
Scientists fulfilled his request in an accessible scale and again repeated their question. To which the computer replied again:
- Not enough data. Connection to all computers of the planet without exception is required.
Scientists cursed among themselves for a long time, but nevertheless complied with this request. Ask the same question again. This time the computer answered its “Not enough data”, demanding to connect it to all existing networks of the planet. Scientists again, having scolded, fulfilled his request and again asked the question:
- Does God exist?
To which the computer replied:
- Now yes.".
A joke deserves special attention: “Artificial intelligence is gaining more and more popularity due to the extinction of the natural.”
Pleasant from such scientific humor is not enough, but that is - that is. It is in this joke that all the ins and outs about scientists are present who, in the pursuit of knowledge, can, without stopping at anything, simply lose their reason and, having crossed the permissible line, quite consciously put all of humanity under attack.
Jokes are more pleasant
We present to your attention a whole set of scientific jokes and aphorisms in order to imagine the strange beauty and sophistication of scientific humor:
- Perhaps there is nothing heavier than breaking up with a loved one, except for the black hole NGC 300 X-1, which is 20 billion times heavier than the Sun.
- I want to say thanks to gravity. If not for her, I would not be here right now.
- I did your discriminant less than zero!
- "That night we will do what cannot be done." "Divide by zero, or what?".
- Few people think that most mathematicians think that they throw garbage in a parabola.
- What can you talk about with a woman if she does not know how to calculate triple integrals?
- Mathematician Pavel Fedorovich in sexual fantasies always prefers to be a numerator.
- If after each of your falls you have the strength to rise, then you are most likely a sinusoid!
- The amount of dirty dishes is constant, limited by the height of the tap.
- Dear math! I'm already tired of looking for your x. Let's admit that he just disappeared somewhere ...
But the Vladimir Central, remade in a mathematical way:
"Vladimir matan, variables,
There are two extreme points from the Fourier stage,
lies on the heart of a heavy Gauss ... "
Here is an excerpt from a conversation on Vatsap of two mathematician friends:
“- How did you break up and why?
- I accidentally read his correspondence with homies.
- So what?
- He denies the gravitational dilation of time there, and indeed all the experimental evidence of GR. Can you imagine? He's stuck in Newton's manger!
“Tin, well, a fool!”
From the life of teachers and students
This is a separate issue that cannot be ignored. Of course, some teachers who do not find the audience responding to their questions have to concede in something. And the bar of such compliance, sometimes, can be underestimated to a minimum of minimums:
"There is an exam. The teacher explains:
- A question for five. How is voltage measured?
Silence.
- Question four. How is voltage measured? A - voltmeter, B -
ammeter, B - ohmmeter.
Silence.
- Question for three. But isn't a voltage measured by a voltmeter?
(Answer options to question three:
A - Exactly !!!
B - Exactly
B - Not sure ... "
Probably, many people know about the joke about the future student, judging by the control work of which, below, the road was ordered in advance to the faculty of mathematics and geometry.
Very smart puzzles
Here is the problem for you, try to solve it:
“Kolya caught the girls, dipped them into a puddle and carefully measured the depth of each girl’s immersion, and Tolya just stood nearby and watched the girls floundering. What is the difference between Colins of Action and Tolins, and how are physicists called such actions? ”
No way? And, as it turned out, the answer was very simple: "Tolya made observations, and Kolya made experiments."
And such "smart" tasks are a dime a dozen. Scientific humor from biology and genetic engineering deserves special attention. Here is a good aphorism from the field of collision of two scientific "enclaves":
"A group of mathematicians caught an esoteric who claimed that all knowledge was originally in people, and forced him to meditate until he remembers how differential equations are solved."
And here are the puzzles from the field of genetic engineering:
“Snow White II has a blood type, white face, 35 foot size. The gnome III has a blood type, black face, 55 foot size. What is the probability of having a baby - a gnome with a black face, blood type I, 55 foot size, if a white face and 35 size - dominant genes lying on different chromosomes? ”
“In koloboks, the autosomal bald gene appears to be dominant, and in kolobiks it is recessive. Kolobikha, having a bald brother, rolled out to marry a bald kolobok. Kolobikha’s father was also bald. They had a bald little bun and a bald little bun. Kolobochka rolled out to marry a hairy kolobok. What is the likelihood that they will give birth to a bald bun? ”
From them it becomes immediately clear that at the time when all the children watched and enjoyed the cartoons, the future biologists and genetics were seriously thinking about what would be born in certain cases.
Separately about water
Scientific humor about water is also interesting. Any natural history teacher, being, in combination, and a car enthusiast, can tell you that:
“The water cycle in nature is when you just washed the car, the water from it, evaporated, rose and turned into heavy clouds, and the next day, again, if it wasn’t okay, it started to rain ...”
Any linguist would pay tribute to such a joke:
“- Do you have water?
- Not water, but water.
- Then give me water!
- Not water, but water.
“Yes, I see you’ll get a hell of a drink!”
Any university student will agree with the following statement:
“How to find water in the desert?” When you are in the desert under the scorching sun without a single drop of water, begin to retell your course in your mind, and the water from your mouth will rush in a continuous stream! ”
The question is very interesting for some ignorant people:
“The chemical formula of vodka is C2H5ON. Water - 2, carbon dioxide - 02. If I breathe hard on the water, can I go into a drinking bout? ”
Conclusion
In conclusion, I would like to cite a statement that is undeniable in its logic regarding all the same water:
“Everyone you love and suffer because of is 80% water. Why do you need these problems because of the miserable 20%? Just love the water. Will cost cheaper. ".
But ordinary (unscientific) inhabitants are unlikely to agree with this! Have a good mood!