Girls are fragile, sophisticated, very emotional creatures. The impressionability and suspiciousness of the beautiful half is known to many men firsthand. Sometimes you can offend a girl with just one word, and sometimes absolute inaction can become a reason for insults. In other words, you seem to have done absolutely nothing, but you are already to blame!
The subtlety of a woman’s mental organization suggests an increased degree of vulnerability. That is why she is able to react so sharply to any movements of her life partner. And especially seriously, she can take some really significant oversight of her young man. A logical question arises: “What if I strongly offended the girl? How to make peace? ”
Reasons for the scandal
In order to understand how to properly approach the process of reconciliation with a girl after a scandal provoked by you, you should understand the causes of your passion disorder. Quite often on the surface lies only the visible part of those claims that are highlighted as a catalyst for a quarrel. But in fact, the roots of the problem can go much deeper, and from this the reasons for such a reaction of the woman you love can be completely different from what they seem at first glance. You may initially not even suspect how deeply you hurt and offended her.
How to apologize to a girl if I’ve messed up a lot? First you need to do two things:
- analyze what happened, recall all the words the girl said during the skirmish;
- sort out the additional hints thrown by her snippets of phrases - they may have a much deeper meaning with the true causes of your lady’s chagrin.
Development of an action plan
Having decided on the reasons for such a sharp reaction to the situation you provoked that caused the scandal, develop a strategic plan of action. Tactical steps should be built on the basis of specific reasons and preconditions for misunderstanding. The whole scheme of reconciliation measures will depend on how much you offended your loved one.
How to apologize to a girl if I’ve messed up a lot? The first task after finding out the specific cause of the offense is a clear and constructive understanding of how to act correctly. Do not smother a fever, do not rush to run to apologize to her and upholstery the thresholds of her house, let the person cool down. Otherwise, you will only aggravate her hostile feelings towards you and add, as they say, oil to the fire. In the meantime, work out a consensus plan.
Repentance
Before apologizing to the girl, if he is very messy, you must wait a certain pause. Immediately after the scandal ignited, she will not want to, and she simply will not be able to listen to you and objectively reason about the advisability of the arguments you have presented. Let some time pass. Day, two, week - each pair has its own time threshold of materiality in the relationship. However, it is important that this time she lives with the thought that you are full of remorse, that you still consider her the only and most beloved.
Strongly offended the girl: what should she write? If in the course of a quarrel she slammed the door in front of your nose or scooted away from you, just not to continue this blatant scandal, then her emotions are at the peak of the explosion. Give her a few minutes so that she regains consciousness. Send a short message that will reflect all the meaninglessness of resentment and hint to her that without it you will lose the joy of life. Let it be a phrase like: "I still love you very much," or something like "I was wrong," "Forgive me my jealousy," "I acted like a fool. I repent. ”
In a word, you do not need to write long petitions at this stage: you are both on emotions, just let her survive this hitch and cool down in thoughts that you still realize the degree of your mistake and are ready to atone for your guilt. In this case, this will be the most correct tactic of behavior: providing time for reflection and a brief phrase about your repentance.
Deeds
When you think about how to apologize to a girl, if you really messed up, pay attention to real men's actions. Just do not be naive to believe that the tearful sad audio recording thrown to her on the wall in VK or deleting a profile on Instagram are considered such. Take serious, meaningful steps.
If the cause of the scandal was a broken shelf, which your woman asks you to beat already as early as the second month, silently take it and fix it: let her at least see that her insult has hooked you and you are not indifferent to her protest. If the reason was your immense jealousy and your ban on attending pair dances, give her this freedom, show that you trust her - send her a courier a subscription to her favorite ballroom dance hall. In a word, let her know that you have accepted your wrongness and are ready to compromise.
Consistency and perseverance
If you wrote to your beloved girl that you offended one apologizing SMS message and believe that your conciliation act is over, you are deeply mistaken. Consistency and persistence - these are your two main weapons in the fight against female grievances. Remind yourself constantly: it should not be intrusive, but it should also not be too dry. Let your girlfriend feel that what happened between you has hurt you too. That you have already realized the degree of your responsibility for the pain caused to her.
Take more and more steps to find a compromise between you. Look for a meeting with her. Call her. Even if she does not agree to see or pick up the phone, this does not mean that everything is over. She just needs to be prepared and, as they say, to “warm up” her feelings with a manifestation of tenderness and care on your part.
Manifestation of attention
But how to show this attention in a similar situation? There are some very correct directions in which you can accurately move the guilty guy:
- Her parents. If you have a good relationship with the mother of your girlfriend, act through her. A visit to her with a hotel and intimate conversation will have their effect. Offer a joint fishing trip to her father if he is a fan of such events. Word for word, you can talk to him about your disagreement, and he, in turn, will have a conversation with his daughter.
- The solution to her problems. For example, if she has long complained to you about her neighbor and about his walks with a muzzle dog, now is the time to take action. Have a conversation with a negligent dog breeder, make your heart apologize to your lady. Her visit with an apology will definitely impress her.
- Giving help. Do you know for a long time that she planned a move? Organize your friends, send to her house on a crucial day. Let them help her collect, transport and unload furniture and personal items. It will be quite helpful, and will clearly tell her about how you care about her life and her problems.
We have given only particular possible situations that would help the offended girl look at the offended young man from the other side and soften her heart. Cases and circumstances may be different, but the meaning is clear: such small manifestations of attention will help her to dull her pain, brighten up disappointment and exchange anger with mercy.
Effect of presence
How to originally apologize to a girl? You can take advantage of the tricks of avid romantics and love adventurers: create the effect of being in her daily life. How to do it?
For a long time relationships or living together, you probably managed to learn some of the obligatory “rituals” of her daily pastime.
Does she like a morning run along the promenade? Leave her any sign that can tell her that you were here today. On the coastal bench, near which she does a warm-up, leave the usual box with food for river ducks, which you sometimes indulge in for joint runs. She will be flooded with memories of you, the girl will feel longing for bygone days and will probably be moved.
She likes to drink a cup of coffee without sugar and try a croissant with raspberry jam during a break from work in a cafe next to the office? At lunch time, order her a table with a delicious duet made of her favorite foods that is already familiar to her. Advise the administrator in advance. She will be pleasantly surprised that you remember her every second and skillfully try to restore her location.
Create the effect of presence in her daily life. Such steps will be unobtrusive and quite successfully fit into her measured rhythm, giving you the opportunity to reflect on how you are actively trying to beautifully apologize to her.
Ability to surprise
In order to surprise your beloved, it is not at all necessary to put a sombrero on your head, learn to play the guitar and climb a horse to perform a serenade under the windows of her house. Although this option is almost a win-win.
It is enough to do something that is absolutely not inherent in you. Surprise her with the fact that, contrary to your principles and character, you are ready before everyone's eyes to ask her forgiveness. Order an apologizing inscription on a billboard in front of the windows of her office, send her an apologetic message on the air of her favorite broadcast. Do what you were shy of doing before because of your “anti-romanticism,” as you think. If you manage to surprise her, you are guaranteed to succeed and achieve her forgiveness.
The Taming of the Shrew
If you are still wondering: “Offended the girl: what to give?”, Then do what all men usually do - give her flowers. Someone once said that this is pure banalism. So, I would like to object. Almost every woman on the planet loves when she is presented with a bouquet of beautiful fragrant flowers. In this ritual there is a certain note of desperate romance, manifestations of love, attention, care. Say: can you help the matter with flowers? But no one says that forgiveness will come for only one bouquet.
If you are very messy, it means that apologies must be substantial - send her a delivery bouquet every day with a bouquet of flowers with a couple of words about your apologies in a miniature postcard. Add a basket with Raffaello or delicious fresh cakes in the shape of hearts to the present. If you still believe that this is trite and does not work, check on personal experience - you will be surprised at the effectiveness and efficiency of such a seemingly simple method.
Improvisation
And finally, if you still have a meeting with your beloved girlfriend, do not miss this opportunity under any circumstances. Invite her to go on a romantic trip tomorrow morning. Let it be a suburb with a small cozy rented apartment for a week, but fresh air and wonderful views of nature will immerse you in an atmosphere of love and unity. Act, improvise, do not give your beloved girl a reason to take offense at you longer than they can withstand your relationship.