As you know, people are prone to fear of losing a loved one. This is not surprising, because it becomes for us the center of the Universe, and jealousy, spiced up with past experience and real fear of loss, sometimes does not allow us to live peacefully and even sleep at night. If you are not comfortable with this state of affairs, then today we will try to understand the true nature of jealousy, whether it has the right to exist, and also consider aspects of how to stop being jealous of a guy or a girl for other people or for their past.
Why am I jealous?
When a wave of uneasiness sets in and you just dream of learning how to stop being jealous of a guy for every pillar, first ask yourself the question: “Why am I experiencing this excruciating feeling?” There may be one or several reasons, but basically they live in our head, although we believe that this is your loved one that provokes you. So, let's look at the most common causes of jealousy and find out if they have a foundation.
How to stop jealous of a guy or a girl: cockroaches in our head
I myself am a jealous person, and I really dislike this, because it seems to me that at the moment of jealousy I humiliate myself. Remember how you act in such moments! You blush, turn pale, throw a tantrum, cringe, take offense, shout, insult your beloved person. In short, show your helplessness and weakness!
Also, you speak out unflattering about who you are jealous of, and a person can be jealous not only of a rival, but also of parents, friends, work, children from a previous marriage.
The reasons for this feeling may be different:
- They really give you a reason.
- You do not love yourself and are not confident in yourself.
- The past of your loved one does not give you both rest.
- Your property has children from past relationships.
All these reasons can exist simultaneously, but most of all bring discomfort to the memory of his and your past experiences.
How to stop being jealous of the past?
This question is very complex. There are two solutions, and they depend on why he is now with you. If the past relationship still has not left his head and heart, then this is a bad sign for you, and jealousy is justified. It turns out that the guy thinks and loves the other, and with you only because you are not alone or forget your love.
Psychologists recommend not meeting with guys who just survived the breakup, and they did not have a girl after that. A woman who will be after the one he loved will be "intermediate." She will take on all the horrors of jealousy for the former and resuscitation of the feelings of the guy. Rarely do men linger for a long time in the company of these ladies - keep this in mind.
But the one that will be next has a chance to outshine both and become his new love. Therefore, our advice is - if a guy frankly tells you that he has not forgotten the former, but is ready to try with you, do not believe it! In order not to suffer from thoughts about how to stop being jealous of a guy, do not become his "intermediate" girl!
Jealousy as a consequence of self-doubt
Most often, this feeling is a banal dislike of yourself when you think that someone can be better than you. You can disagree with me and object: but how can I consider myself better than that beauty? Yes, very easy! A woman who is indulging in herself is more beautiful than any top model or actress.
The main thing is not what your facial features and parameters are, but what you think of yourself, because you can deceive the human ear with untrue speeches about your virtues, but you cannot deceive his ability to capture the energy that you radiate at the same time! A person is able in 7 seconds to determine who is in front of him, what situation is now around you, and what feelings you are experiencing.
Of course, he will not be able to translate this into words and thoughts that are understandable to him, but his behavior will already take shape based on these seven seconds. So, girls, cultivate self-confidence and self-love! And if you really can’t stand the competition, then look at what you are missing and bring it to your appearance or character. It is in your power to change the color of your hair, hairstyle, dress, manner of communication. You can quit smoking or go in for sports - this brings many advantages and reduces competition.
True, there is one condition: if a guy does not love you, but only spends time so as not to be bored alone, then no matter how you change your appearance, you won’t hold him, and you won’t be saved from jealousy. In this case, think about whether you need him, such a person, and do you spend your precious time with him?
How to stop jealous of the former
Why did he become your ex? Who was the initiator of the breakup? If you are, then you are to blame. Pride leaped in you, and you left the man, although you still love him very much. In this case, it is worth returning it and not repeating mistakes anymore - try to agree, as adults, on how to behave in relation to each other, so as not to part in the future.
If he left you, and there is no chance to return to him? If he does not love you, and you know about it, then stop cheating yourself already. Your jealousy is a waste of time and nerves. Start a new relationship and forget your ex. There’s even a great formula for this: if a guy pretends that he doesn’t need you, then he doesn’t need you! A man will never ignore the woman he loves! Do not live in the illusion that someone may love you and be silent. If he is silent, he does not love enough - that’s all.
I understand that I did not give psychological techniques on the topic of how to stop jealous of a guy or a girl, but I tried to turn to your mind and put pressure on pride. After all, if you are engaged in self-deception, you see what’s the matter, but you don’t admit it to yourself, then no practice will help you get rid of jealousy, because you are lying to yourself. You are trying to reanimate relationships, to feel mutual love where it was not there, but there was only attraction, salvation from loneliness, the desire for sex on one side.
How to stop jealous of a guy or girl
Decide who is to blame for your jealousy: you or your partner. Analyze why you are jealous: because you understand that you are being treated unfairly or simply because you tend to suspect everyone. Only after that can you start self-medication, although, as practice has shown, one realization of the cause is already driving anxiety out of your life, and understanding that, “when I'm jealous, I lower myself a notch and admit that I'm worse than that woman, "generally discourages jealousy. Or at least show your jealousy.
Girls and boys, in normal relations there are no painful moments. We just have no other examples before our eyes. We think that love is jealousy, suffering in separation, tears and quarrels with reconciliation. But it turns out that all of the above is a way to get rid of boredom and return passion to your life or relationship. True love does not make you jealous and sad, and you have to cry only from happiness.