Voltaire once wrote: "All the honors of this world are not worth one good friend." However, establishing relationships is easier than maintaining them. But how to make friends with a person when he seems like a soul mate?
Honest self-esteem
If you want to have a real friend, you yourself have to be like that. What does it mean? You need to look at yourself through the eyes of another person and give yourself honest self-esteem. This includes an analysis of their strengths and weaknesses. Indeed, real friendship is the ability to give, not to take, and first of all, not materially, but emotionally. You can ask yourself questions: "How will communication with me enrich another person? What qualities of character will be unpleasant for him?" Before making friends with a person, most often you need to adjust something in your behavior. After all, if someone is greedy, prone to gossip, constantly dissatisfied with life or proud, then the chances of getting close to someone are very low.
On the other hand, those who suffer from shyness or a sense of worthlessness are usually afraid to make friends, because they believe that they are not interesting to anyone. But objectively reflecting on their merits and talents, they will be able to raise self-esteem. Otherwise, they simply will not be able to make friends with anyone, it will be difficult to surround themselves with new people.
Appearance
This is no less important than the inner world. Nobody canceled the axiom that they are greeted by clothes, and this must be taken into account, especially if the person who wanted to meet sees us for the first time. Clothing should be neat, shoes clean, hair washed and well-groomed.
Bad breath, sweat, dirty nails and cigarette smoke (it’s not worth talking about fumes) immediately give out an outspoken slut and close the door to further communication.
How to make friends with a person: manners
A decent appearance with a smile in addition will do their good job. Also during the conversation you need to maintain eye contact, because if you hide your eyes, look at your feet, this will act as a signal of insincerity. True, one should not look at a person so that he would not feel embarrassed.
Also, the tendency to interrupt or speak in a condescending tone will not play into the hands of someone who is looking for new acquaintances. A know-it-all, constantly emphasizing the ignorance of others, - this is certainly not the one with whom you want to make friends. By another person it will be regarded as rudeness. Anyone who can constantly tease others often thinks that he has a wonderful sense of humor, in fact, very offends and hurts others. There are those who live by the principle "There are only two opinions - mine and wrong." Therefore, they will certainly impose it on everyone and everyone, and this is an open bad manners.
How to make friends: the first step towards
It's not easy. Immediately questions arise such as “What if nothing happens?”, “Will he (she) think that I am harassing people?”.
When it comes to a complete stranger, say, at a bus stop, in transport or in a line, you can inadvertently throw a phrase, for example, about the stuffiness in a minibus, the length of the line, or good weather. If he supports the conversation, then we can continue in the same spirit. It is better to take topics for discussion neutral, to avoid issues of politics, racism. The main thing to remember: such unobtrusive communication does not oblige you to anything, you can stop it at any time. But, on the other hand, if the conversation “hooks” both, then you can get a new interesting acquaintance.
The same applies to housemates, employees at work, mothers with strollers in the yard - all those who have to see each day, but have not yet had occasion to talk. The purpose of any such conversation is to find common interests. If both people like each other, then their acquaintance with time can develop into a strong friendship. As you can see, there is nothing complicated in the question of how to make friends with a person.
Sincere interest
To know how to make friends with the right people, you do not need to be the most sociable in the world. It is enough to show genuine interest in others. Often people study or work together for years, but know almost nothing about each other. Simple everyday questions "How are you?" or "How was your weekend?" can become a bridge to further communication. You can try to start a conversation and determine by the person’s reaction whether he wants to devote others to his life or not. Of course, the first time a folding conversation may not come out. It is not nice to impose oneself, but you should not despair. A modest treat, a non-binding gift, SMS - this is not considered something grandiose, but it will make it clear to a person that he is not indifferent, they think about him.
Listening skills
Talking a lot is optional. Communication always involves dialogue, not a monologue. Therefore, even shy and not very talkative people can do it.
But the ability to listen is worth its weight in gold. During the conversation it is necessary to ask suggestive or clarifying questions. This will show the person that his opinion and feelings are very important for the interlocutor. He will understand that he can trust a new acquaintance. When the interlocutor sees that he is not interrupted, but attentively hears everything that he says, then he will be more inclined to entrust something hidden. Such conversations bring people together. After someone poured out the soul of another, they seem to have a common secret.
Help in practice
For a faithful friend, you can never do too much. And it’s not necessary to wait for some kind of trouble in order to prove your affection. Fortunately, this may never happen, but in small difficulties it is also important not to remain indifferent. It happens that you need basic help around the house, for example, wash the windows or weed out the garden. A friend is unlikely to ask for this, so you need to take the initiative. Go shopping, take a queue in the clinic, take the child to kindergarten - such small services can be priceless. It is like small bricks from which a strong friendship wall is built.
Of course, if a misfortune happened in the life of a friend (death of relatives, divorce, fire), then the support of a loved one is often the only anchor of salvation. It’s not enough to just say: “If you need anything, contact.” This is the time for action. It is unlikely that a friend himself will ask for something - in difficult times, people tend to withdraw into themselves. Therefore, sometimes you have to take on the organization of the funeral, housework, and repairs. Such a banal thing, like cooking, can be an impossible task for an emotionally depressed person. Therefore, do not ask, but do it. Also material assistance will not be superfluous.
In social networks
It has its own culture of communication, consisting of the number of likes, emoji and comments sent. True, a virtual friend will not always become real. In social networks, people are more relaxed and begin to communicate with strangers without problems, but here you first need to remain vigilant, because some dating on the Internet does not end with anything good.
But to find a like-minded person and quickly make friends with a person is not difficult at all - just "sit" on thematic forums or communities of interest. There, people are already set up for active communication, no need to come from afar. Adding to some community, the user as if says: "I want to make friends with a person who also loves, for example, Soviet films."
As can be seen from the foregoing, making a new acquaintance - in the virtual or real world - is not so difficult. But will this person become a close friend? Time will tell.