Many people suffer from the fact that they cannot speak the word "no." Despite the fact that it’s quite logical from time to time to deny people help that you cannot provide, many, sacrificing their own interests, come to the rescue of others. Do you think this is right? No matter how. Some people shamelessly use the courtesy of others and live happily at the expense of it. How to refuse a man without offending him?
Boost Your Self-Esteem
Man must be a rational egoist. Own interests should always be put higher. Of course, if they do not interfere with other people to live happily. More often than not, people with low self-esteem are asked the question "how to refuse a person without offending him". Strong individuals who know what they want will never sacrifice their interests to help others. For example, serving the poor can only be done if your finances allow it. It is foolish to follow the beggars who instead of going to work, stand on the street and beg money from passers-by. And this applies not only to poor people. Some simply do not want to waste their own strengths and learn something new. It is easier for them to find a person who can sit on his neck and live his mind. Do not fall for the bait of mercy. Learn to defend your interests. Selfishness is a good quality. You have one life, and you will not have a second chance to live it happily. Therefore, never make empty promises. Think twice before agreeing to help someone to your own detriment. A person who loves himself will not allow anyone to infringe on his interests.
Always prepare a reason
People whom you refuse something will not be offended if you tell them the real reason for the refusal and explain why you cannot fulfill their request. It’s not worth inventing false excuses. If you cannot help a friend with the move because you bought a ticket to the theater, say so. No need to justify. Just note that you did not know anything about the acquaintance’s move, and you bought tickets in a month. Thus, you will be able to maintain friendship, because a person will be able to enter your position. Do not think that a friend will suggest that you choose entertainment instead of help. Tickets purchased in advance are proof that you planned your leisure time and, since you didn’t have any other offers for this evening, decided to use your free time as you wish.
How to refuse a person and not offend him? In no case do not come up with stupid excuses, such as that my mother or boyfriend fell ill. The lie will be easy to verify, and the person whom you refused for a silly reason will be offended.
No need to make excuses
Don't want to do what you are asked for? How to refuse a man without offending him? No need to make excuses. If you want to sit at home instead of going to a noisy party, say so. Each person has the right to his own opinion and to the realization of his desires. If you do not want to spend time with strangers and want to relax at home, there is nothing wrong with that. Be firm in your intentions and do not try to whitewash yourself. Your decision is your choice, and it cannot be wrong. You should not lower your eyes to the floor and mumble that you have not been at home for a long time and at work you are constantly forced to contact people. It will be stupid and ugly. In a firm and confident voice, say no. If you do not want to explain the reason for the refusal, do not do this. The simple answer is enough: "No, thanks, I don't want to." No one will insist that you do something that does not bring you pleasure. Especially if you have other plans for the evening. Even if this is a completely natural desire to lie in the bath or watch your favorite series.
Tell us about fear and perfectionism
How to refuse a person so as not to offend? Many people are afraid to help their friends if they are not sure that they will cope with the task. For example, your friend asked you to replace him on a children's holiday. You have little experience communicating with children and have no idea how to behave with them. Say that you do not want to spoil the reputation of a friend, because you are completely incompetent in organizing children's parties. There is nothing shameful in admitting your incompetence. It will be much worse if your fears come true.
When you refuse something to a person due to the fact that you are sure that you will not cope perfectly with the task, tell us about your passion for perfectionism. This confession will only raise your rating in the eyes of the applicant, and not lower it. The desire to do everything perfectly is very laudable. And the ability to soberly assess your abilities will help you avoid embarrassing situations.
Do not fall for the tricks of manipulators
Some people are fluent in the art of manipulation. How to learn to refuse people without offending them? Try not to fall for the tricks of cunning acquaintances. You found yourself in a situation where you refused something to a friend, and instead of taking it for granted, he began to say that he did not expect a rejection of such a kind and sympathetic person. After such a remark, any person who has just refused will feel awkward. Always remember that some people will try to manipulate you. Say that you are a truly responsive person, but only in those cases when you have the opportunity to help a person. If you have neither desire, nor strength, nor time, you do not need to redraw your schedule because of gross flattery. Being greedy for compliments is bad. Do not allow confusion in your soul over the words of the interlocutor. If you said no once, repeat your answer in the same firm and confident tone as the first refusal was given.
Please borrow money
Many people find it uncomfortable to refuse requests for money. For this reason, many friends "ride" on many people who earn good money. They borrow money, and then either they don’t give it back, or they give it back, but they take a lot of time. How to refuse a person and not offend him? Examples of phrases that help you say a solid no:
- Yes, I have money, but all my expenses have already been planned, and this month I have absolutely no opportunity to share part of my savings with you.
- I save the money that I earn on an expensive trip. I can’t lend you anything, because I will need to buy tickets soon, and I’m afraid that I might not have enough for something.
Refusals to lend are quite natural. If a person really needs money, he can go to the bank and get a loan. Therefore, you should not feel guilty if you cannot sponsor your friend.
Deny to fan
It is difficult to refuse a person who has warm feelings for you. But it’s even worse to give a person an unrealizable hope. If you do not want to scoff at the feelings of the person, you should immediately say no. How to refuse a man without offending him? The phrases for denial that many girls use are terrible. Never say that the guy is kind, good and ... just not worthy of you. Such a refusal implies that the other chosen one is better than your current gentleman. This fact greatly affects men's self-esteem. Therefore, tell the person that you are not reciprocating, which means that there can be nothing between you. Is it possible to take offense at such a phrase? Not. How can one be offended that a person does not feel sympathy for you? The cavalier will decide that the lady simply could not appreciate him, and will go looking for one that will cope with this task.
Examples
How to refuse a person without offending him, by SMS? Do not use standard forms and do not write silly excuses. A short message should contain a concise answer. It is advisable to meet two phrases. In the first you say that you refuse, and in the second you specify why. How to refuse a person and not offend him? Examples of SMS messages:
- Thanks for the suggestion, it's tempting. But I can’t accept it, because I have other plans for this weekend.
- I am sorry to tell you “no,” but when I was stretching the last time, I badly injured my leg and I have no desire to repeat my negative experience.
- I do not understand the issue of choosing indoor plants and I can not go with you to the greenhouse. But I have a girlfriend who can help you.
- I can’t help you with the move, as I’m busy this weekend. But I can help you with interior design, if you need help in this matter.