Children do not always know what to do if their parents drink. In such a situation, it is difficult to give any specific advice. The circumstances are different for everyone and the reasons for drinking too. Some people start drinking alcohol, trying to cope with pain or loss. And some become alcoholics and lose their human appearance. But still there are some rules and methods that are advised to be guided by children whose parents abuse alcohol.
Parents do not choose
Any child should understand that it makes no sense to be angry and resentful of parents. It is difficult to say whether it is better to grow up in a family of alcoholics or in an orphanage. When parents are sober, they love their child, pamper him and try to raise him as they can. And when adults are drunk, they beat the baby and humiliate him in every way. A child should realize one simple thought: parents are not chosen. Will have to come to terms with the situation and try to change it. There is no point in hoping for a kind wizard who will come and, with a wave of a magic wand, will change the situation. He will have to make efforts to awaken his conscience in adults and make them understand that it is time for them to take responsibility for their child.
What should any child who grows up in a drinking family should know? The reason for the “illness” of the parents is clearly not him. Even if the child was unwanted, it is still not his fault that he was born. The parents are guilty, who were careless about their carnal desires and did not try to protect themselves. Each person is responsible for his fate. Therefore, the baby should not reproach himself that he became the cause of the troubles of his parents.
Help parents find hobbies
A lot of stories and legends go about drinking parents. Many of them have a happy ending. How can children help adults improve their lives? A person often spills his grief with alcohol. But you can escape from the problem in another way, for example, do your favorite thing. The child should ask members of his family what they liked to do when they were younger. Having ascertained the interests of adults, a child can acquire everything necessary for a variety of parents' evening activities.
For example, mom can buy an embroidery kit, and dad can get an unusual 3D designer. Where to get money for such toys for adults? Help should be sought from relatives, grandparents. The older generation will support the kids and help them buy everything they need.
If necessary, you can purchase membership cards, for example, in a fitness center or for dancing. Moving leisure activities will help direct the vibrant energy of adults into a more beneficial direction. If parents thanks to the child can find joy from their hobby, they can stop drinking on their own, as they will not have enough time for evening drinking.
Spend more time with family
How can a child help his drinking parents? He can distract them from the bottle. How? Ask adults to be with him more often in nature. You can go to the park, located in the city center, or you can go to the forest. Ideal if the family has a car. Then adults will not drink in the forest, as they still need to drive a car. Well, if the child goes with his parents to the city center, then the adults will not dare to drink there either, as a minute fine will have to be paid for a minute weakness.
The child should try to exhaust the parents to exhaustion. For example, ask adults to play catch-up or hide and seek with him. In this case, the parents will come home tired, and even if they miss a glass before going to bed, it will be only one glass, and not a bottle that they could drink in the evening.
A child can take parents to visit relatives or grandmothers. There, adults will also try to refrain from alcohol, so as not to lose face.
Reassure parents that life can be changed
There is nothing permanent in life. What if parents drink and curse? You need to convince adults that there is always the opportunity to change your life. But you need to convince people in a sober state. No need to give moralizing lectures on what to drink badly. Parents will not accept the information presented in this way. But if a child often tells parents motivating stories about how people from the bottom rose and became successful, then such information can settle in the brain. A child may say that teachers in school or classmates tell similar stories.
You can find a selection of motivating films and watch them with your parents. It is necessary to try to make the message obvious, but not too obvious. Otherwise, adults will quickly find something wrong.
Encoding
What if your parents drink but agree to quit? You need to act quickly and lead them to the hospital. A psychologist will work with alcoholics, who will be able to use various methods of suggestion, as well as prescribe pills for people and encode them. But you need to understand that a coded person will have to avoid alcohol all his life, otherwise he will be able to return to his original state and continue drinking. Therefore, the encoding should take place with a clear understanding of the person, what he does and why he does it. In all other cases, it will be useless.
Psychologist's help
The child does not know what to do if parents drink every day? A person should consult a psychologist. A layman is unlikely to be able to benefit the family, but he can easily do harm. If a child wants to help adults, he must find a psychologist who agrees to solve the problem. Such specialists can be found both at schools and at institutes.
A good psychologist will first of all conduct educational work with a child who is in a difficult life situation, and only then will try to change the situation in the family. Children do not always understand that help is required not only for adults, but also for themselves. Indeed, constant grievances, misunderstanding on the part of loved ones, as well as contempt and despair can result in depression or a nervous breakdown. The psychologist will help to establish harmony in the soul and give practical advice that will help return happiness to the family. If necessary, the specialist can even go home to the child and, introducing himself as a teacher, get to know his parents better.
Children should not be afraid to endure drama from the family. It is difficult to solve the problem on your own. And if the child has someone to turn to, he should ask for help. Doing this is not at all embarrassing. It is much worse to eke out a miserable existence and live with inadequate people.
Relatives help
If parents drink, what should the children do? They must find an idol somewhere on the side. And it is desirable that they become one of close relatives: an aunt, uncle, grandmother or grandfather. Relatives will help the child understand that he is loved and that his parents are sick.
Adequate adults will conduct educational work with alcoholics and will make every effort to educate their relatives. The child should not be afraid to complain about the mother or father. After all, adults can hide their alcoholism from others. In this case, it will be difficult for the child to live. He will see two different parents at home and in a circle of acquaintances.
To solve the problem with the split personality of parents, you should turn to grandparents. They will tame adults and may even temporarily pick up a child from them. If a child will keep his problems in himself and consider that it is bad to overeat, then he will not help adults in any way. He should understand that first of all you need to take care of your health and your protection, and then help your parents.
Limit contact with parents
Do you have drinking parents? What should a child find himself in a similar situation? It is necessary to limit contact with drunk people. When parents will be intoxicated, all conversations with them should be excluded. It is necessary to show contempt with all his appearance, but better to leave home. A child can walk late into the night or spend the night with friends and relatives on the days when the mother and father arrange another drinking party. In the morning, already sober parents, the child must explain that he does not want to see them drunk and will leave the house every time that adults will be applied to the bottle. Such speeches should appeal to the conscience of adults.
What to do if parents drink and do not pay attention to the absence of a child? Then you should permanently relocate to relatives who are more fond of children. It does not make sense to deserve the love of people who should love but don’t do it. A child should have a normal childhood, and not engage in winning a feeling of love.
Do not help
Surprisingly, in order to help loved ones fight alcoholism, they do not need to be helped. Children who grow up in a family of alcoholics grow up quickly. What if parents drink? No need to arrange a comfortable life for parents. If the child will wash, clean and cook, then the adults will relax and will not do anything.
Parents should be made to work. Let them do all the housework. A child may occasionally join a family spring cleaning, but not do it all the time alone. The more time people drink will do the housework, the less time they will have for another drinking bout. So a child can even intentionally mess up a house to keep parents occupied and distract them from the bottle.
Provoke jealousy
Not sure what to do if parents drink? They need to be jealous. For example, for all to tell grandparents that they are the closest people on the planet. Let the parents understand that they are not authorities for the child. Jealousy will help to realize that you need to change position and earn the love of your own child.
And the more often parents will hear that the child is worshiping relatives, not parents, the better. But you should not say such things intentionally. They should hear such words as if by accident. But it is possible and even necessary to adjust situations in which adults “accidentally” hear a child’s revelation.