The life of a modern person cannot do without conflicts. They inevitably arise and strike especially painfully when the person is least of all ready for them. This is their insidious mechanism. Disputes and quarrels sometimes take so much time and effort that one can only be surprised.
Conflict situations are a real eater of positive emotions, which brings disappointment and often becomes the cause of apathy. The study of various complex points in the interaction of people among themselves is the science of conflictology. What is a conflict situation and how to behave in it in order to emerge victorious? This is our article.
A conflict situation is ...
Behavior in a conflict is a very important thing, on which a person’s further well-being and his worldview depend. It is noted that, for example, one who is used to constantly giving in, experiences significant difficulties when it is necessary to show character, to insist on his opinion. Such a person in most cases is lost when you need to act confidently. By the way, guilt is the main indicator that a person is ready to assume the role of a victim. But is it necessary to do this?
Modern psychological science defines conflict as a clash of views, beliefs, opinions of two or more opponents. The parties to the dispute may have conflicting information, have different approaches to solving a particular problem. Having not learned to listen to outside opinions, often people only care about satisfying their own interest, regardless of how much it affects the capabilities of another person. The situation becomes especially difficult when feelings do not find a way out, but are simply hushed up. A so-called vacuum is created through which it is difficult to hear and understand each other.
How does the clash begin?
Conflict and conflict situations, as a rule, do not arise at one moment. It takes a sufficiently large amount of time for negative emotions to accumulate in excess and become simply unbearable.
The first phase is a period of patient expectation. It can last for years. The emergence of a conflict occurs gradually. At this time, a person has an accumulation of destructive and unfavorable energy. Someday this bowl is full. The phase of the so-called breakthrough is approaching, when impressions and judgments about each other are suddenly expressed. Hearing this about yourself is more than unpleasant, and relationships can be ruined once and for all. Therefore, it is so important not to accumulate irritation, anger and resentment, but to resolve all differences in time. Perhaps this is not easy, some courage and self-confidence are required, but it is worth it. Be sincere and friendly!
Reasons for misunderstanding
The fact is that each of us has our own unique ideas about how this world works. When another person suddenly destroys the usual boundaries of our understanding, in other words, intervenes in him, there is a feeling that everything around is collapsing. The person loses support under his feet. To recognize the truth of another person is a real test for many. And even if somewhere in the depths of the soul there is doubt, the stubborn person continues to persistently uphold his own position. Conflict management begins with the realization that "I can be wrong." When a person is able to understand and hear the opposite point of view, to learn some lesson in himself, then we can talk about a constructive way to solve a complex problem.
Interpersonal and intrapersonal conflicts
Conflict situations are those circumstances of life that require incredible efforts from us and teach us to be attentive to ourselves and to take into account the desires of others. Heartbreaking contradictions can both accumulate inside a person (then this is a real "war" with oneself), and find clashes with loved ones. In both cases, the person feels not in the best way: sleep disturbance, loss of appetite, and mood decline are possible.
Intrapersonal conflict develops in the person himself. Its source is the destructive thoughts of the negative plan, which literally make you suffer. A person may refuse to see positive prospects for the future simply because it is difficult for her to go beyond her “I” - here, the obligatory participation of another is necessary. Conflict Resolution within the framework of a person’s concentration on himself, it must necessarily happen under the influence of a specialist - a psychologist. It is very difficult for a person to cope.
Interpersonal conflict requires participation from two people. Here there is a clash of specific opinions, views, beliefs. Often, the parties to the dispute cannot hear and understand each other correctly only because each of them has its own value system, which does not correlate with the position of the opponent. The management of conflict situations in this case consists in being able to rise above one's own pride and learn to concede in something, to understand the position of another. Some of us mistakenly believe that agreeing with the adversary’s point of view is a manifestation of weakness. However, a strong person is unique precisely in that he has the ability to see the truth much further than ordinary people.
Marital quarrels
The vast majority of quarrels occur between husband and wife. The world is so arranged that the closest and dearest souls often cannot understand each other. This happens, in particular, because the spouses tend to identify their own personality with their soulmate and forget that they may have completely different desires and views. The most difficult thing in a relationship between two loving people is to come to a state of a single internal integrity and at the same time remain self-sufficient, not to lose faith in yourself.
Conflict Resolution between spouses is only possible if they begin to coordinate their actions with each other. Here you cannot act alone, from the position of selfishness. It must be remembered that when you decide to create a family, you thereby take responsibility for its well-being. If the husband and wife do not understand each other, the emerging conflict situation is a signal to correct the situation as soon as possible. Most likely, both are wrong, and each defends his point of view. It is important to see in time, to realize the absurdity of such actions! Behavior in a conflict situation depends not only on the degree of misunderstanding, but also on the nature of the spouses. If there is an opportunity for any member of the family to make concessions, then this is already wonderful.
Parent-child relationship
How often are parents dissatisfied with their children! The reasons for misunderstanding may be different: poor school performance, reluctance to do homework, rudeness and inattentiveness. Conflict and a conflict situation arise, as a rule, when repeated attempts are made to achieve mutual understanding. Teenagers often demonstrate complete intransigence and are willing to prove their worth in everything. Looking at them, we sometimes think that they are too arrogant to talk about their own future, so gloriously believe in their success. Youthful age is a time of dreams and impulses. Look at them: how eyes burn, what enthusiastic speeches flow from their lips! And how seriously, sometimes frowning, adults argue about the unattainability of certain goals that they once set for themselves. Due to the differences in these facts, it is very difficult for children and adults to understand each other.
What can parents advise in this case? Conflict Behavior should be aimed at minimizing quarrels and reducing negative emotions. At every opportunity, you need to tell the children about their love and that not everything in life can be achieved only with a good attitude - in most cases productive actions are required.
School and its "lessons"
Unfortunately, far from always the educational institution where our children go, brings them joy. Some children attend school with the appearance of serving a duty. With such a non-optimistic approach to the learning process, one can hardly expect high results. It is very important to develop a child’s cognitive interest, the ability to rejoice when acquiring new knowledge. And what if he had a mutual hostility towards the teacher, relations with classmates did not develop?
In this case, parents should be ready to immediately respond, come to the rescue. Conflict situations at school cannot be ignored; they must be addressed in a timely manner. For this purpose, a good method is to talk with the child heart to heart. Who knows, if you will be sincere and affectionate enough with him, maybe he will open up to you with his school problem. Conflict resolution begins with understanding. It should come from the heart, from a sincere desire to help. Even if a child had a deuce for a long time and generally behaved terribly, give him a second chance. Let him try to fix the situation. In the end, it is so important in life - to be able to admit one’s own mistakes. They focused on the opportunity for personal growth.
If the problem lies precisely with the teacher, and you and your child tried different ways to establish a relationship with him, but nothing helped, maybe you should seriously think about the fate of your child. Alternatively, transfer it to another class or school. If the child does not want to part with his school friends, perhaps a teacher change should be sought. You do not want your son or daughter to graduate from school with poor grades! Unfortunately, educators can sometimes be more than biased towards their students. It is worth considering the well-being of your child.
Work days
Conflict situations in an organization are not uncommon. It looks like all the staff seem so sweet and welcoming. In fact, each of them has its own character. This is neither good nor bad, but a given of nature. In order to coexist peacefully with colleagues in the workplace where you are currently working, you must follow some rules.
Never climb on the rampage. Conflict situations are always gossip and unflattering opinions, therefore it is better if they do not concern you. When you see that a tense atmosphere is brewing among employees, you should not intervene and aggravate the situation. It is better to keep a neutral position and remain friendly and smiling. In office, you should do work affairs. For some reason, many forget this simple truth. It is not permissible to conduct personal conversations by telephone, to attract attention, to laugh out loud. After all, you can’t always imagine what ultimately it can turn out for you.
How to behave
Conflict resolution begins with the realization that some problem is occurring. Depending on the extent to which you are involved in a quarrel, make appropriate decisions for yourself. You need to be able to admit your guilt in time, if so, to say that you are wrong. It should be remembered that there are no insoluble problems. You can always find a way out of conflict situations. It is only important to go from the soul, from the heart - and then you will certainly be heard. All contradictions can be defeated if you act from a good start with sincere desire.
What destructive consequences can a conflict situation lead to ? An example and solution can be found in fiction and specialized literature. In fact, it's never too late to ask for forgiveness. If you realized that you were wrong, then it would be completely out of place to explain to your colleague, neighbor, your own child, to say why you offended him. Perhaps he will understand that everything is not so scary, and will not keep you angry. At home and at work, we spend too much time, and it is not in order to aggravate our position, to suffer, to spoil our nerves. If you don’t like the activity, think about how to make boring dull everyday life more interesting. Mentally pick up paints in order to colorize your emotions, turn your home clock into something meaningful and significant! Play with the child, he will be very happy.
A small summary
Conflict situations are a special condition in which two or more people are emotionally connected. Often these people are dependent on each other: for example, a teenage son is not yet able to live separately from his mother, which is why he argues with her than he wants to prove his autonomy. The mother does not understand her son, considers him a child and therefore does not trust important instructions, does not take seriously his arguments about the career of a musician. Any disputed cases must be resolved in a timely manner, otherwise they will turn into a protracted conflict, which is not so easy to overcome.
It is much easier and better to live without accumulating heavy negative emotions. Remember that they greatly exhaust a person, cause irreparable damage to the psyche. One who is constantly in a state of mental stress is not able to adequately perceive reality. Such a person cannot enjoy life, fully develop and use his abilities. If any conflict situation arises, it is better to resolve it in advance than to torment yourself and others. Take care of your loved ones, love them, take care of your relationship. Truly the joy of human communication is a unique, invaluable gift. If you learn to fully appreciate what you have, you suddenly start to feel happy for no particular reason. Everything is going well, harmoniously: the salary is pleasing, your career achievements are growing, children are making progress in development, health and well-being are at their best.