It is no secret to anyone that the success of a person is not only life luck and the strength of his character. The determining factor in many matters is his relationship with others. And communication skills are the key to a good relationship. The success of a person in both personal and professional sphere depends on how developed they are.
Communication skills
Communicative abilities are the abilities and skills of communication with people around us with the help of words and without them: through facial expressions, gestures, body language and image. This includes both the correct sending of signals and their correct reception.
Effective communication skills are the foundation of success in almost all areas of life. If they harmoniously developed throughout life, they will become the key to establishing all interpersonal relationships, both personal and business.
Communicative abilities of a personality: psychology and the period of development
Communicative abilities begin to develop in a person almost immediately after birth. It is believed that the sooner the baby learns to talk, the easier it will be for him to interact with the people who surround him.
Communicative abilities of a personality are formed strictly individually. There are a lot of factors influencing their development: these are relations with parents and relatives, later with peers, with colleagues and management. In addition, the general social role of man in society is important.
Communication skills are ... Definition and characterization
If in childhood a person did not receive proper understanding and support from relatives, which did not allow him to gain communication experience, he may become insecure and withdrawn. That is, his communication skills will be at a low level. How to get out of this situation? Develop communication skills. However, before you figure out how to act in such a situation, you need to understand the structure of communication.
The communicative abilities of the personality, the characteristics of which are presented below, include the following types.
- Regulatory and communicative: the ability to help a person in a difficult situation, as well as accept someone else's help when you yourself are in a difficult situation. In addition, this species is responsible for the ability to resolve emerging conflicts with adequate methods.
- Affective-communicative: the ability to notice the emotional states of others, as well as timely and correctly respond to them. In addition, this species is responsible for showing responsiveness and respect for the interlocutor.
- Information and communication: the ability to start, maintain and end a conversation. In addition, this ability helps to attract the interlocutor’s attention using both verbal and non - verbal means of communication.
Communication skills development
Communicative abilities are (in psychology) one of the most important for a person. That is why they must be developed throughout life. But how to do that? Consider the basic techniques for developing communication skills.
Listen more
Communicative abilities of a person is the ability to competently establish interaction with a person. Can this be done without listening to the interlocutor? Unlikely.
Perhaps this communicative skill is the most underestimated. People are usually self-focused and selfish. Many of them are used to talking exclusively about themselves, and everywhere and always. Such people do not hear and do not listen to the interlocutor: they wait for him to finish speaking, in order to start talking again again. Is it possible to overcome this bad habit?
The best way is to forget about yourself at least temporarily. Concentrate your attention in the conversation on what others are talking about, and not on your "I" or internal dialogue. Think less about your beloved and more about your interlocutor with whom you are talking and listening to.
In addition, attentive listening will help you determine the best way to continue the conversation. Questions should be asked that involve extended answers, rather than monosyllabic yes and no. This will help make the conversation more interesting and informative.
Do not stretch the monologue: brevity is the sister of talent
This rule directly relates to the ability to listen and hear the other person. If a person acts as a narrator for too long, he deprives himself of a chance to hear the interlocutor. When you focus your attention on another person, you automatically begin to speak less yourself.
Work on your acting skills
Communicative abilities are, in turn, a wealth of various intonations and gestures. This is what characterizes people as representatives of society. An outgoing person is an excellent storyteller and imitator, who have a taste for juicy details, for details. He prefers diversity in life, since it is easy for such a person to switch from one social role to another, in addition, he easily adapts to any situation. Such people have charm and know how to like.
When communicating, use not only words, but also non-verbal means of communication
Words compared to body language are a negligible part of communication.
Psychologists say that through non-verbal means - tone, intonation, body language and facial expressions - a person conveys about 90% of the total message. If you better master these aspects, then it will become easier for you to convey your thoughts to the interlocutor.
For example, you can learn to speak more emotionally. To emphasize your interest in what the interlocutor is talking about, you can bend slightly in his direction and look into his eyes. If you are positive and open, it will be reflected in your facial expressions and gestures.
Pay attention to the movements and tone of your voice, communicating with others, and adjust them if necessary.
Respect the opinion of the interlocutor
Even if the point of view of the person with whom you communicate is the opposite of yours, this is not a reason not to listen to it. This does not oblige you to agree with him.
Just listen carefully, and then point the person to the places that caused your disagreement. You do not need to tell him that he is wrong or incompetent. It is better to agree with the interlocutor at least formally, because dialogue is a search for common ground between different people.
Show sincere interest in the person you are talking to.
When you show sincere interest in the person you are talking to, you completely involuntarily begin to listen to him more closely, trying to understand what he thinks and feels. That is, it will help you determine what really interests him.
When you listen to an interlocutor, show interest in his person, you can easily find that he is not so different from you or not so boring as he seemed to you when you met.
In addition, people will feel more comfortable if they see your interest and attention to them, which will benefit the conversation.
Understand criticism
The ancient Greek philosopher Epictetus advised listening to criticism. If a person feels a grain of truth in her, then it is worth considering how to improve.
However, it should be remembered that in the vast majority of cases, criticism is a reflection of the emotional state and mood of the critic. Perhaps he had a bad day. Maybe a pet or a child is sick. Your interlocutor may be angry with someone or jealous of you. Due to the fact that people are often focused on themselves and their experiences, it is very easy to draw an erroneous conclusion.
Remember that the world does not revolve around your person. Realize that people think about you, about your actions and mood is extremely small. This knowledge can greatly facilitate your life. Thus, the problem, which is associated with the fear of taking the wrong step and saying something is wrong (and this supposedly somehow affects the opinions of others about you), turns into a small barrier.
Try to initiate a conversation
Residents of a big city have long been accustomed to pretend that, walking along the street, moving on a bus or metro, they do not notice a friend or do not recognize him. Eyes down, as a rule, indicate a person’s unwillingness to communicate with someone, and this works — you too lose the desire to talk with you.
Such an adult version of the game of hide and seek makes people feel more stress and negative emotions than a conversation even with the most undesirable interlocutor.
When you see a friend, but are hiding intensely, pretending not to notice him, you are in a state of expectation. Questions sweep through my head: did he recognize me? Does he want to talk? Or maybe he is in a bad mood and is not in the mood for conversation? Come or not worth it?
In order not to be stressed and not to torment yourself once again, it is better to simply approach and start a dialogue, act as its initiator. You will be surprised that it is easy enough. If the interlocutor really will not be configured for conversation, then you can just say goodbye and leave.