Male self-esteem is that area of consciousness, which hurt you can undermine faith in your own strength and completely destroy the set priorities. It does not matter whether the ego of the stronger sex was intentionally or unintentionally affected. But if such situations are repeated frequently, with a high degree of confidence we can talk about the imminent death of the union. Even the calmest, meekly subordinate to women men sooner or later come to the decision to break off relations. Experienced specialists give their recommendations on how not to hurt the ego of a man.
The essence of the concept
Male pride is formed throughout the life of a man. The representative of the stronger sex is born into the world to become a conqueror, defender and earner. Nature created him strong and courageous, able to find a worthy partner for procreation, protect her attacks of other applicants, as well as provide a woman with a roof over her head and food for food. These functions are priority for any male individual and do not depend on his upbringing and desire. Everything is inherent in nature in the guy’s mind, so the slightest violation of boundaries or ignoring its main functions by a woman is perceived with hostility.
The main types of behavior of women
There are two ways to offend male pride. This is a conscious and unconscious provocation on the part of a woman. The first and second options are fundamentally different from each other:
- Conscious provocation. This is the behavior of a woman who tries to keep everything under control. She sees everything and understands perfectly well that her comments or stinging clarifications are unpleasant for a man. By doing this on purpose, the girl seeks the complete destruction of the man as a person, with the goal of establishing her unspoken rules. The woman mistakenly believes that she can thus keep her faithful near her for a long period. A man will consider himself completely dependent on her and will not go anywhere. The lady will have to disappoint, because sooner or later the guy will find strength in himself and will surely break free from oppression. The only excuse may be the situation when a woman did not value relations and specially touched male pride in order to leave as soon as possible.
- Unintentional provocation. We are talking about the wrong behavior of a woman who is trying to increase her self-esteem at the expense of her partner. She is confident in her rightness and does not notice the moment when she begins to cross the line of what is permitted. At the same time, the girl sincerely loves the guy and does not understand what exactly is doing wrong. Most often, such a relationship ends in parting, and both partners experience severe disappointment. To avoid this, you should consider the most common mistakes in the behavior of the fair sex.
Mistake number 1. Remarks
To the question of how to infringe on male pride, without even noticing this, there is one answer: constantly make comments to the guy in the presence of strangers. Some women naively believe that for a better effect and motivation for action, a man needs to be shamed with friends or relatives. For example, a guy brings a not very large salary or forgets (or does not know how) to fix plumbing in the house. The girl voiced her complaints so that the partner would be ashamed, and upon returning home, literally from the threshold, he began to fix problems or look for a new job.
It is safe to say that a man will never do this. Even if he considers the remark correct, consent will infringe on his male pride. He will fundamentally and defiantly begin to do the opposite, because strangers found out about his insolvency, and his other half became the initiator of the whole action.
How to prevent such a mistake
Never voice your claims with strangers, do not make comments, do not pull. This behavior looks unworthy, since it offends not only the beloved man, but also all unauthorized persons. Nobody likes to be present at personal “showdowns”. A reasonable decision would be to praise your man or even ascribe to him those achievements that are not yet available. For example, to say (if asked) that so far the salary is small, but the guy is doing everything in order to increase it. The man simply did not have time for broken plumbing, he will fix the tap next weekend. Be sure that your faithful will try to justify the trust placed and right away will begin to correct the situation.
Mistake number 2. Ignoring the decisions of men
If you constantly dispute or simply ignore the decisions of the representative of the stronger sex, it will guarantee a blow to male pride. A man always claims to be the head of the family, and this is normal according to all generally accepted canons. He is obliged to support his family and perform the most difficult work. But what if this function is not constantly performed by him, and the woman is forced to pull everything on herself? Even this serious situation does not give the woman the right not to listen to the point of view of her partner. If she neglects his advice and focuses only on her decisions, the guy will cease to show initiative at all. He will decide that he is neglected as a man, and will go look for those women who can be recognized.
Never argue with a man about his point of view and do not impose your ideas. He sees the situation in his own way and has every right to do so. If the guy’s proposal is absurd and there is no way to agree with him, you need to connect all your feminine charm and tactfully offer your option. By loyally explaining all the advantages of your choice, you can get a stunning result. The guy will decide that this idea occurred to him. Do not disappoint him, let him think so, but you can put yourself “excellent” for the wise behavior of a loving partner.
Mistake number 3. Remembering the former lovers
The reaction, which will be clearly visible that hurt male pride, will follow after the mention of a former lover. This can manifest itself in the form of chagrin, irritation, and even aggression. Any man in his heart is the owner, and it is terribly painful to realize that other men loved his woman. Memories that the previous one was good can provoke the emergence of inferiority complexes. Talking about how bad it was with a former lover will be less painful, but still unpleasant. Constant comparisons will necessarily lead to separation.
Do not voice your memories of what has long passed, because it looks unconvincing. If it was so good with your ex, why are you still not together? Or was his image perfect after parting? You need to understand that such memories hurt the current partner and irritate his ego. Girls need to put themselves in the place of their boyfriend, and returning to the past is recommended only as necessary. It will not work to cause healthy jealousy, you can only harm the current relationship.
Mistake No. 4. Mockery of men
Injured male pride arises from ridicule from a woman. Each representative of the stronger sex has memories coming from childhood. He was small and did not know much, he had to comprehend everything gradually. It is about strength, courage, experience. Today, the guy wants to feel like a brave defender, and wants to forget the periods of insolvency forever. That is why it is very painful for him to realize that the beloved woman sees his weaknesses. The man feels humiliated and begins to defend himself. A simple unobtrusive joke can become a reason for a serious conflict (not to mention serious things).
The usual remark in a joking manner can create a situation when male pride is hurt. What to do to a woman who did not want to offend her lover, psychologists advise. Do not focus on the joke or repeat it twice, you need to correctly translate the topic of conversation. By all his appearance, to show that the conversation has a playful form and in no way claims to be sarcasm. In order to continue not to offend your man, you need to be extremely attentive to the words. A categorical ban lies on the topic of appearance, discussion of his family members, intimate opportunities, favorite hobbies, etc. Jokes in any form on this topic lead to conflicts or even parting.
Mistake number 5. Authoritarian behavior of women
Very often, the fairer sex forget about their mission and try to completely take over the reins of government. It happens that with her commander’s ambitions a woman touched male pride and didn’t even notice it. This usual habit of considering only one’s own point of view, disregarding the opinion of a partner, suppressing it morally leads to significant aggravation of relations.
A man seeks to protect his beloved, dreams of being her only salvation in all situations. And she does not allow him to even take care of herself, because only she prefers to decide when and to what extent she needs it.
Tip
Do not change roles, because it will not lead to good. A man will tolerate the suppression of his ego for the time being: either he will not stand it and will leave, or it will turn into a spineless person. Such a development of the situation will definitely not suit the girl, since she does not have enough strength to perform male functions. If there is a desire to see their relations harmonious, it is worth each of the partners to remain in their positions and not climb into someone else's territory.
Mistake number 6. Clarification of relations
The fair sex is very fond of sorting out relationships. As a result of multiple conversations, a woman realizes that she has touched male pride. What to do in a situation where the partner does not want to find out at all who is right, who is to blame? A woman should understand that the psychology of men is fundamentally different from women's logic. The guy is used to acting, not reasoning, and all discussions of personal problems seem ridiculous and meaningless to him. He wants to hear a call for a specific action, and not listen to multiple claims.
What to do in this case?
If a woman is a lover of clarifying relationships, she must constantly be prepared for mutual confrontation with her partner. For example, she wants to talk about a topic that interests her, which concerns the analysis of the past not very good situation. The man is categorically against the "useless waste of time on silly conversations." The girl begins to insist on conversation, get nervous, insult or affect the pride of her partner. Such clarifications lead to inevitable separation. Therefore, girls should remember that the analysis of events and feelings can be entrusted to a friend or mother, but not to her lover in any way, since he will not endure conversations in large numbers.
Mistake number 7. Manipulation
Male pride is hurt when a guy realizes that he is being manipulated. Each member of the stronger sex can use a lot of efforts to get a certain result. He is trying to care, help, pay attention to the girl and fulfill all her whims in order to achieve his own goal. Usually this goal is an intimate relationship, because (in the opinion of a man) sex is a proof of female love. He perceives any signs of attention on the part of the girl as a call to action. But when the guy realizes that he was used, the whole world leaves under his feet. This painfully affects his pride, as it infringes on his manhood.
Do not humiliate male pride. If there are no plans to develop a serious relationship, the girl should behave accordingly. It is not recommended to accept gifts, ask for help or behave ambiguously (excessively flirting, hinting or flirting). Otherwise, you can provoke indignation or even aggression from the guy and hear a lot of unpleasant things about yourself. A man’s wounded pride will allow him to be very inventive in his revenge, so you should beware of such actions.
Conclusion
Women who dream of harmonious long-term relationships with the stronger sex need to know how to amuse male vanity of the chosen ones. To do this, you need to understand them, treat them with respect, praise more often and love more. No guy will remain indifferent to the girl who appreciates him. But at the same time, do not forget about self-esteem. After all, only equal tender and sensitive relations will maintain a bonfire of love throughout life.