Unfortunately, the statistics of divorces is such that a rare person does not know who the stepfather is. Unless young children from complete families who do not have their own experience in this area can ask their parents this question. Nevertheless, often people do not think about the subtleties of a legal nature, giving stepfathers certain rights and obligations that are not spelled out in any law. What kind of person is this, how to use this word correctly, and what difficulties does the stepfather experience in life?
Who is a stepfather? Meaning of the word
According to the dictionary definition, the stepfather is a man who married a woman with children. The sons and daughters of women who are illegitimate or born in a previous marriage are stepsons or stepdaughters in relation to the new husband.
By and large, what does the word stepfather mean? This is someone who takes the place of the pope in the family, not being the biological father of the children. In the female version, this is the stepmother, that is, the new wife of the father, who is not his children a mother.
Proper use of the word
A random mistake can be made due to the fact that when pronouncing the deaf consonant letter "t" slightly hides, and it is skipped. Emphasis is placed on the first vowel “o”. In most cases, there are no questions about how the word "stepfather" is written - this is not a dictionary word, it does not require separate memorization.
It would be wrong to use this word in relation to the common- law husband of the mother, without the official registration of marriage. In this situation, a lot depends on the personal view of each family member, but, from the point of view of the legislation, the official husband of the mother is the stepfather. If, after marriage, a man formalizes custody of the children of his wife or carries out the adoption procedure, then in all the documents he is indicated as the father and receives the corresponding duties and rights.
Stepfather: Parsing a Word by Composition
The morphological analysis of the word in this case is unambiguous - a noun, masculine. If in the context it sounds like “yearned for my stepfather’s house”, and we mean the parental home (home of the father, parents), then this is an adjective, instrumental case.
Morphemic composition: the root of "otc" and the end of "them." According to cases, this word is inclined in accordance with the rules of the Russian language: stepfather, stepfather, stepfather.
Rights and obligations of a stepfather
Who is the stepfather in terms of legislation? According to the family code, relations between the stepfather and the children of his wife arise in the relations of the so-called “relatives”. They are not relatives, but the stepfather receives a non-property right to take part in the upbringing of his spouse’s children, provided that the exercise of these rights does not inflict physical, moral or material damage on the children and does not violate their own rights.
Many are interested in whether, with an official marriage, the stepfather has responsibilities with regard to his stepson or stepdaughter. The law does not spell out the obligation of the stepfather (or stepmother) to financially support the children of his spouse (or spouse) from a previous marriage. Nevertheless, there are reservations in the legislation protecting the rights of children to material security on the part of an adult. The court can relieve the stepfather of this responsibility, for assistance you need to contact the guardianship authorities.
The law in this case is retroactive on the principle of reciprocity. If the stepfather did not formalize the adoption or guardianship of the children, but at the same time provided them with regular financial support for a sufficiently long time, then the stepson or stepdaughter will have alimony obligations before him. That is, in case of disability, the stepfather can go to court to recover material support from an adult stepson or stepdaughter.
The stepfather is equalized in all rights with the father, if adoption is adopted. Guardianship also pushes the limits somewhat, allowing the stepfather to take part in the life of the child and at the same time endowing him with appropriate responsibilities.
Relationship with spouse's children
It is no secret that extremely complex relationships can arise between children and the “new dad”: from light hostility to hatred. "Who are you? Stepfather? You are not my father! ” - a fairly frequent response of a teenager to any attempt at educational work. And not every man seeks to gain the trust of children, to the birth of which he had nothing to do. Competition for the attention of the spouse and mother is developing, and the situation in the family is seriously heating up. What can be done in this situation?
First of all, you should not show the child a negative in response to outright rejection. An adult has extensive experience, and it is he who has to meet, taking into account the age of the children, their mental confusion. Much depends on the mother, too, she should not remain on the sidelines and passively wait until everything settles down herself.
Stepfather or father?
To paraphrase the famous advertising slogan, we can safely say that not all fathers are equally useful. For some reason, the mother still divorced this man. If the father managed to set the children against himself, then the positive reaction of the child to the appearance of a new dad in the house is not excluded. Who is the stepfather in this case? This is a senior comrade, and very often the old attitude is triggered that the real father is not the one who conceived, but who cared, protected, raised and raised.
If a child has a warm trusting relationship with a father living separately , then it becomes more difficult for the stepfather to fit into the life of a stepson or stepdaughter. Authority is questioned and even criticized, and building trust is much more difficult. We have to remember that children are often completely biased and illogical. If the mother and father are simply divorced, the stepfather who broke up the family is declared guilty, even if he met his mother after the divorce. And if the father died, then the child may well declare the mother a traitor. Adults need a lot of tact and patience so as not to aggravate the relationship.
Is the word "stepfather" insulting?
Traditionally, the title of stepfather carries less negative connotation than the stepmother. Even the sayings entered - "not a mother, but an evil stepmother." A man in such a situation is automatically considered the focus of virtue, because he took the woman "with weight" as his wife. There is a lot of patriarchal morality and double standards; far from always the stepfather becomes a good friend and real father.
Is it possible to somehow replace this dry and official “stepfather” with other words, less alienated? It can be extremely difficult for a child in the moral sense to call his mother’s husband a father, and even more so a dad. In no case can it be forced, it can only increase confrontation. In some families, a compromise is offered by name, only by name, or with the prefix "uncle." If a child calls his stepfather dad after some time, this is a vivid demonstration of the trust achieved.