Have you ever been embarrassed for your child, who could ask aloud: "Why is this aunt so fat?" or "Why doesn't uncle have hair on his head?" Probably yes. Children tend to behave directly, as if there are no rules of decency and laws of courtesy.
Therefore, the immediate person is the one who “cuts the truth-uterus” in the face and says what he thinks. Is this right, does such immediacy work in the modern world? We will talk about this in this post.
Where does spontaneity come from?
“We were all once direct,” the phrase sounds almost sad for the simple reason that among adults there are almost no direct ones. Childhood is a time of reverie, belief in miracles, directness and openness. “Immediate” is a completely normal childhood trait along with the eternal “why” to all those around and active games. However, note that by the age of eight to ten, a child loses its sincerity. He begins to whisper with friends, keep silent, even if he has questions, keep something in mind and not express his feelings. Why is that? Very simple. Parents, educators, everyone and everyone surrounded by the baby inspire him that a direct person is bad. To be sincere means to be impolite, rude, wrong. For a perfectly logical and direct question, the baby can be pinched, slapped, said to shut up. Adults recount the child to be sincere and advise him to quickly learn the rules of this world. And therefore immediacy is perfectly eradicated and replaced by hypocrisy.
Directness in adults
As Elena Ermolaeva said, immediacy and naturalness - these qualities are super-elitist, and not everyone can afford them. It's true. Our stereotyped and stereotyped world does not like openness and honesty. It is far more natural for us to lie, to tell lies, to remain silent than to be direct. This is partly due to learning from childhood. On the other hand, we continually see the consequences of immediacy. Open people are considered too simple, unpleasant, they are almost afraid and dislike. Imagine that we will speak in person what we think to our superiors, mother-in-law and mother-in-law, teachers, neighbors, even parents? It is not necessary to think that all words will be offensive, these are just emotions. No, the truth scares people, but because the majority prefers to keep silent "in a rag". The immediate person, perhaps, enjoys the absence of “back thoughts,” but he is hardly happy with how others perceive him.
but on the other hand
Many confuse immediacy with inverse qualities. If spontaneity is a naturalness, which does not imply anything bad in relation to neighbors, then excessive simplicity, bordering on rudeness, is already a bad character trait.
These qualities are difficult to confuse. The immediate person lives honestly, never asks for excess and does not offend the person. She will not say to the complete lady “with spontaneity”: “You are fat,” but she will not be able to hide her thoughts if asked. The immediate person laughs, cries, behaves as his heart tells him, and not public principles. A boor, a rude man is frankly harmful to society, does not bring anything good or bright to people.
The benefits of immediacy
So, after understanding the concepts, we can conclude what immediacy is. But is this quality useful? Will direct behavior harm a person, society? Most likely not. A genuine, real feeling cannot hurt or interfere. Rather, a person harms himself when he cannot say what is on his mind or heart. The immediate person is one who develops, pays tribute to being himself and, finally, to happiness. Be natural and direct.