Each person has his own shortcomings. Someone is struggling with addictions, someone cannot control outbursts of anger, and for someone envy is a problem. Getting rid of the last vice is not so simple. But by making an effort and consciously approaching the issue, you can achieve positive results. How to cope with envy? Look for tips below.
Know how to temper your desires
What is the problem of a man who is always envious of everyone? The fact is that a person always wants something very passionately. The stronger the fire of desire to possess some thing or ability burns in your soul, the less chance you have of getting what you want. Why? A person who spends a lot of time thinking about a better life will never get it. Indeed, in order to achieve something, you need to make a lot of effort.
How to cope with envy? Stop wrapping yourself up. Let's take an example. You madly want a car. And recently, your girlfriend bought the perfect car for your girlfriend. Now you want to have a personal car even stronger than before. You curse fate for the fact that your parents do not have the opportunity to buy you a car, and complain that you do not have a gentleman who could give an expensive gift. Such thoughts will not bring you closer to a dream. You have never had a car.
How to learn not to envy? Instead of lying on the couch and visualizing the car, it’s better to get down to business. A person who is enthusiastically working on something does not have time for silly thoughts. A machine for him is a goal, not a dream. A person consciously works hard all day to get personal transport.
There will always be those who are worse than you
This idea cannot be comforting for everyone, but it helps when it gets really bad. Not sure how to deal with envy? Then think of those people who are less fortunate in life than you. Do you want the latest iPhone or an es-class car? Reduce your appetites. Think of those people who live somewhere in Africa. Compared to them, you simply live in paradise. You have something to eat and access to good drinking water. You have a roof over your head, people who love you, and a favorite job. You are a happy person, but just do not want to notice it.
When you begin to realize that some people in life will never reach the level of comfort that you currently have, it’s somehow easier to live on. Disturbing thoughts leave, and it is much easier to fall asleep. It is too often not necessary to practice such mantras, but when you feel especially bad, you can use this method of self-medication, it works flawlessly.
Listen to gossip less
When does a person begin to envy? At that moment when he learns that the other person has something that he can only dream of now. Do not want the nasty feeling to arise in your soul? Then stop listening to gossip. They bring confusion into a calm and measured life. Evil languages can exaggerate a person’s earnings, they can attribute to a person virtues that he does not have.
Rumors are false information and cannot be trusted. You still do not know how to cope with envy? Stop wasting your time washing other bones. Do not read the yellow press and spend less time on Instagram. You may have envy not for something real, but for something illusory. By posting their photos on social networks, people photograph only the best moments, and sometimes they overcome a lot of troubles for the sake of a beautiful frame. Therefore, do not judge a person by his photographs. It can be an illusion of a beautiful life and have nothing to do with reality.
Boost your self esteem
Who suffers from the envy of the thicket of others? Persons who have low self-esteem. A man who respects himself, appreciates and loves, will not condescend to envy. But people who can’t control their thoughts and constantly doubt themselves can always be unhappy with their lives.
Remember, envy is a bad feeling and you need to get rid of it. How? Take a sheet and write on it all your best character traits, abilities and skills. Remember everything, the list should be impressive. And now every day you look at a piece of paper and memorize what is written there. You must be proud of yourself.
If you can’t be proud of the successes achieved in the past, then try to be realized in the present. Write a list of goals and start going towards them. Each time you reach one of them, you will feel better and more confident.
Stop comparing yourself to others
How do most parents harm their children? The fact that they form the rudiments of envy in a child. Adults do this unconsciously. They constantly force the child to compare himself with others. For example, you brought home a four in math, remember what mom said. First, she found out what grades all classmates received, and depending on this, she praised or scolded that in the diary 4, not 5. So you have developed the ability to constantly compare yourself with someone.
But everyone wants happiness for themselves, so you have to compare your person with successful people. And here the habit can go sideways. Envy will arise. A bad feeling will rise in the soul automatically when you notice that the person with whom you are comparing yourself has something that you lack.
How to avoid this misunderstanding? Stop comparing yourself to others. Every time you want to do this, think about why you will do this stupid mental work, which will also bring disappointment. Let's evaluate yourself, compare yourself today with yourself yesterday. Then you will get an objective understanding of your own abilities.
Do not feed your envy
What is the main problem of envious people? In that they are similar to masochists. Both those and others knowingly hurt themselves. But only the latter enjoy it, while the former are tormented by the consciousness of their insignificance. You had to think: "I envy my friend, she has everything in life, and career, and family, and children, but what about me?" Such thoughts are visited by the heads of girls who do not know what to do with themselves at their leisure. The less you think about others, the better. Engage in your own life and its improvement. No one will do the work for you, no one will improve your knowledge, skills and appearance. If you have any problems, take the trouble to solve them. Because you will envy others, your problems will not disappear, but only worsen.
Get rid of gossip, stop any conversation that begins with the phrase "I heard that Lenka ...". Say that rumors do not interest you. Stop enjoying beautiful life in magazines and on the Internet. Showy pictures of happiness will definitely not console you.
Stop thinking life is unfair
How do lazy people console themselves? They believe that life is unfair. Have you noticed that a person who studied at school in threesomes, more often than excellent pupils, works very well in life? Persons who have only secondary education, open their own companies and hold leadership positions. But what do former ex-students do? They work for former threes.
Why do smart people who have spent many years on their education rarely receive dividends? The thing is that while excellent students study at universities, three-way students learn life. They learn to establish relationships with people, spend a lot of time thinking about how to improve their lives, and then apply the developed plan to life. The first time they most often fail, but they do not despair, and try the second, third and fourth time. Excellent students are afraid to take decisive actions, so they often remain in the position of employees.
The next time you have the thought: “I envy my friend, why is life so unfair?”, Drive her away. Each person deserves the happiness that he has. So your girlfriend worked harder to get and hold what she has.
Complain less
What do people who are unlucky in life look like? These creatures are constantly unhappy. They revel in their grief and at every opportunity they talk about him. Do you think they like this state of affairs? Not at all. After all, all people want to be healthy, happy and successful. But why do some achieve all this, while others only envy? Because some work to pave the way to their own happiness, while others only do that they complain about failures.
Do you think there are no setbacks in the lives of those whom you envy? The better a person lives, the more painfully he suffers various tragedies. But one person can proudly endure the blows of fate, and the other can not stand the pressure. Man is to blame for all his troubles. Therefore, do not envy one who is strong and rich. These people deserve happiness. And you can rise to their height if you do not complain to others about the problems. The more you think about misfortunes, the more you bring trouble into your life. Stop doing this and see that your dreams come true and you don’t have to envy anymore.
Always look for positive
No matter how bad you live, you can always find positive in your life, and not in someone else's. Why does man envy? When there is no order in your life and it seems that things are falling out of your hands, you want to plunge into a fairy tale so that you can escape from the routine. Many people watch TV shows or movies. In them, the characters live happily and carefreely. The feeling of envy grows involuntarily. That is why everything is always so good in films, but bad in life? You can help yourself very simply. Do not look at such pictures, it is better to spend time on finding positive things in your own life. There is always something good, you just need to find it.
For example, getting up in the morning in a good mood, mark this fact and do not take it for granted. Did you easily put your child in kindergarten? Consider it a success. Many household trifles are overlooked by many in pursuit of some invisible and incredibly great happiness. Pay attention to the pleasant little things that fill your day. It is from them that life is made up. Having learned to see the positive, the thought "People live!" Will slip through you less and less.
Try to be happy for loved ones
Remember the last time you sincerely said the words of approval to any person. The man shared the joy with you, what do you need to do? A person who talks about positive changes in life wants to hear words of support and congratulations. It’s very easy for you to show warmth and tell a person that you are sincerely happy for her. Try not only in words to feel this joy, but also to feel in your soul. It can be very difficult, but when you learn to rejoice for others, envy will begin to weaken. And why envy, if you understand that a person deserves what he received?
How to stop envious and live your life? Put your soul in order. Remember that the more you give, the more you get.
Seek envy for inspiration
A person who is kind in nature can also envy. How can a pleasant person experience such an annoying feeling? People are not angels, so they tend to make mistakes and do those things for which they will later be ashamed. But any mistake and any unpleasant feeling can be wrapped in their own favor, not harm. Look at the quote about envy:
When envy is inevitable, it should be used as an incentive for one's own efforts, and not in order to disturb others. Russell Bertrand
Take this rule into service and compliment those people whose life you admire. Let envy help you become better, and not drag to the bottom.
Cultivate
Envy is not good, so stop doing it. The first step that anyone who begins to fight with the disgusting quality of his character should take is self-improvement. Do you envy a more experienced colleague? Then take special courses, and you will receive the same knowledge that will help you in your work. Do you envy that a friend cooks better than you? Practice more often, and over time, you will also be able to make a culinary masterpiece. No prayers of envy will help if you do not cultivate yourself. Only by working on yourself can you become better and increase your self-esteem. So, you will become the person whom you could only envy before.