It is human nature to accumulate not only material values, but also memories. Pleasant or unpleasant, they are an integral part of our life, as well as the basis of experience and wisdom. But sometimes a person gets stuck in the past, constantly looking back instead of rushing forward. This can cause serious problems. How to get rid of the past? How to learn to live in the present and future?
Why is a person stuck in the past
To effectively solve the problem, you need to understand its essence. The past has a tremendous impact on a person. And that's why:
- Playback In a continuously changing series of events, people inevitably encounter situations similar to those that took place in the past. Negative or positive memories pop up involuntarily in the head. Consciousness begins to search in the depths of memory for answers to repeated questions.
- Emotional addiction. Memory captures the moments of the past, as well as the spectrum of feelings that a person experienced at a particular moment. Speaking of emotions, it is worth noting that a person, as a rule, clings to something positive and joyful, again and again scrolling through the events of days past in his head.
- Hypertrophied self-preservation instinct. It is expressed in the fact that a person falls into hysteria and panic when something in his life begins to change. Thus, he tries to protect himself as much as possible from changes and maintain a state that was once safe and comfortable for him.
Recognize and accept the problem
The first step in getting rid of the past is to recognize the problem. You must admit to yourself that you are confused in your memories, that you are stuck in past days, that this is what prevents you from enjoying life and moving forward. It’s important to hit the table with your fist and say to yourself: “Stop!” This will be an impetus to get rid of old goods and the beginning of a new cloudless life.
Forgive and love yourself past
Forgiving and loving yourself is the surest way to get rid of the past. Continuing to scold and rebuke yourself, you will not change past events, but cool poison your present and close the road to the future. But if you let go of what has already happened, you can finally breathe a sigh of relief.
Choose a quiet time and scroll through your head past situation that does not give you rest. And look at her through the eyes of yourself "then", and not yourself "today". Your task is to justify your act. Circumstances, youth, lack of knowledge and experience, lack of support - then you simply could not do otherwise. Forgive and love yourself in the past, even pity to love yourself in the present.
Be grateful to the past
How to get rid of the past? Treat past times not with sadness, but with gratitude. After all, no matter how difficult and vague the past events may be, it is to them that you owe what you are now. Difficulties taught you to be persistent, courageous. You have become stronger, it has become easier to perceive the turmoil of life.
Psychologists in this case recommend using the technique with the poetic name "Pearls of Wisdom". Its essence is to analyze a situation that haunts you, and, based on the results, write down on a piece of paper everything that she taught you, how she changed you. These are the very "pearls". Thank the past for them and release the situation without regret.
Forgive and release people from the past
To start living a full life, it is important to know how to get rid of past relationships and relationships. Surely in your life there were people who offended you, set you up, or left alone when you needed help. Often the grievances of the past make it difficult to make new acquaintances and build new relationships. You subconsciously wait for a dirty trick and betrayal from all.
Give up your resentment and hatred. Those people on whom you are offended have changed a long time ago, in fact, like you. It is possible that they also regret their action. Of course, no one makes you love them, maintain close contact with them, and so on. But you simply have to forgive them. No need to tell them about this. Just get rid of resentment within yourself.
Rewrite old scripts
"Living in the past, how to get rid of this?" - It is with this question that many people come to see a psychologist. During the conversation, experts often notice that throughout his life the patient walks in a circle, constantly stepping on the same rake, acting in a similar "wrong" way in similar situations.
The reason is that the human brain captures scenarios that trigger whenever you find yourself in a similar situation. To break this vicious circle, you need to rewrite the negative scenario of the past in a positive manner. Imagine that a situation that haunts you has resolved in your favor. Consider a sequence of actions that could lead to a positive outcome. This will help you continue to make no mistakes.
Learn to value the present
If you are tired of despondency, you need to figure out how to get rid of the past and live in the present. After all, what is life? This is what happens, how you look, what you feel right now. If you constantly go in cycles in the past, you miss the unique moments which irrevocably leave. Soon they will also become a past for you, for which you will blame yourself.
So that the past ceases to dominate your life, cover it with thoughts about the present. Think more about how you look now, how you feel now, how comfortable you are now, what would you like now. Surprisingly, such thoughts release internal energy and charge a person with joyful thoughts.
Get rid of excess
A sure way to get rid of past connections and events is to clear your personal space of everything that reminds you of past times. Mankind is peculiar to hoarding. Photos, souvenirs, clothes, home decoration, dishes - every thing in your house is probably associated with some kind of memory. And they are not always pleasant.
Set a goal within a month to make a full audit of everything that is stored in your house. Looking at every thing, listen to the inner sensations and voice of memory. If there is a negative, feel free to get rid of this item (throw it away, give it back, sell it). Gradually surround yourself with new “pure” things that will gradually be filled with positive meaning.
Perform an emotional reboot
In the process of searching for means and ways to get rid of jealousy of the past, a person tries to be calm and balanced. But this is not always the right approach. Negative emotions need to be given a way out to make room for new positive thoughts and feelings.
You can do this in a variety of ways. You can scream loudly, break a cup, tear a newspaper into small pieces, cry sobbing. In terms of emotional relaxation, physical activity helps well, which also bring considerable benefits to the body in terms of healing and aesthetics.
Effective methods of dealing with memories
If you can’t get rid of memories of the past with the help of basic methods, use additional tricks that work quickly and clearly. Here are the main ones:
- Positive attitude. Before getting out of bed in the morning, tune in to the perception of the new. Program yourself for the fact that the new day will bring positive moments that will subsequently fall into the "piggy bank" of your pleasant memories.
- Give the negative to the water. If you feel that your thoughts are covered by negative memories of the past, go to the washbasin and turn on the water. Looking at the stream, scroll through the head of everything that bothers you, imagining how negative emotions flow into the sewer along with water.
- Change the setting. The ideal scenario is a cardinal change of residence. A more realistic option is to add new details to your surroundings (to re-stick wallpapers, hang new curtains, and acquire a new interesting hobby).
- Expand your social circle. Contacting people helps you switch from negative thoughts to an interesting conversation. It’s good if during the period of emotional decline you will communicate with some new people with whom you don’t have any common negative memories from the past.
- Change the image. According to psychologists, internal reincarnation is much easier if it is accompanied by an external transformation. Visit the hairdresser, adjust the wardrobe, sign up for the gym - upgrade externally.
- Get rid of bad habits. Oddly enough, but this is a common recommendation of psychologists. The fact is that alcohol and nicotine depress the psyche, forcing you to return again and again to unpleasant moments in the past. Having abandoned these habits, you cleanse the body and thoughts.
Meditation
Meditation is one of the most effective ways to get rid of a past life. It is simple, affordable, does not require special skills. The main thing is to devote meditation every day for at least a few minutes. This is done as follows:
- Choose a quiet and peaceful place in which you will be comfortable, where no one will bother you.
- Take a comfortable pose. It is not necessary to sit in the lotus position, like yoga. You can sit, lie, stand.
- Close your eyes and try to relax completely.
- Imagine that you are surrounded by endless and beautiful nature. But you have a heavy bag in your hands, which prevents you from running towards the world around you.
- Mentally open the bag, revealing in it a pile of stones. Throw them out of the bag one by one, giving each stone some meaning - an event of the past.
- When the stones "end", lie down for a few more minutes, then take a refreshing shower to wash off the rest of the negative.