Every day, a continuous negativity of various scales penetrates our lives. The media helpfully report who killed whom, robbed, shot down. Constantly various sources of information bring to our attention information about new disasters, political troubles. And the positive, in comparison with the number of negative news, is negligible. It seems that the good and the good in the world are completely gone. Unfortunately, this stream has clogged our heads so much that today no one even wonders why people are so cruel? How to change this? And is modern mankind really so soulless?
Main reasons
Why are there so many cruel people? The answer to this question should be sought in the causes of aggression. It should be noted that the manifestation of cruelty is quite diverse. At the same time, it is not difficult to identify it. A person who hurts another while making others suffer is not important, mentally or physically, fully aware of this and striving to do harm - cruel.
Psychologists identify three reasons why people are cruel:
- Dissatisfaction with life . People who are dissatisfied with their fate, are often subjected to stress, depression. These emotions so overwhelm their souls that at any moment they are ready to break free. That is why all negativity is often spilled by mothers on children. Under the influence of anger, some people break the branches of trees and beat animals. This state of mind is quite dangerous, since it threatens the owner with the appearance of neuroses, mental disorders. In addition to all this, constant negativity seriously shortens life expectancy, leads to the development of heart disease or skin problems.
- Indifference . Very often it is this that gives rise to unjustified cruelty. Some people do not even try to understand how much pain their actions, and sometimes words, can cause. They do not think how much they can hurt another. At the same time, the object of their cruelty is a weak creature that can not show emotions and explain what pain was caused to him.
- Repressed emotions. Sometimes a person shows aggression “on the side”. Such behavior is characteristic of those who in everyday life are forced to constantly hide and suppress desires, emotions, impulses. Most often, such cruelty is characteristic of grown children (especially boys) who have grown up in the family of authoritarian parents. Employees who are compelled to unquestioningly carry out the orders of the boss, not being able to reveal their will, in some conditions can show extremely cruel ruthlessness.
Historical cruelty
The older generation likes to wonder - why did so many violent people appear? Here before, everyone was kinder. Listening to their complaints, you involuntarily agree. One has only to open a newspaper or watch the news.
People used to be kinder. It’s worth considering. And before - when? Millennia ago, when cannibalism flourished? Well, these people can by and large even be justified somehow. They were primitive. And they did not know at all about the humane attitude to the neighbor. And maybe those who lived in the era of the Inquisition were kinder? Or during the reign of Stalin? Many people were imprisoned due to denunciations. How many such “good-natured people” sincerely tried to give their neighbor a “gift”!
Why does it appear that today there are so many cruel people? Of course, the media contributed. In the era of democracy, they pay more attention to manifestations of cruelty. It should be noted that the level of humanity in humanity has increased, so aggression is so striking.
Relations with relatives
All people tend to be cruel. In some, this happens very rarely. Others quite often show aggression. At the same time, anyone can commit a cruel act, and quite often such outbreaks occur in really kind people. Unfortunately, all the negativity spills out to the closest ones. For those who are actually loved and very dear. Why are people so cruel? What makes them “rip off” anger at their relatives, and with others, restrain impulses of anger? Why is it impossible to control your behavior when communicating with loved ones?
Yes, because relatives will not go anywhere. Communicating with strangers, a person restrains himself. There are many reasons: both the desire to draw the interlocutor to oneself, and the fear of losing an interesting friend. In the case of the boss, incontinence may threaten dismissal. But if you get into a circle of relatives, especially in a bad mood, a person can lose his temper even one word. And then a scandal erupts in a completely empty place. Of course, this is fundamentally wrong, but the accumulated negative requires discharge. That's why it spills over to the closest relatives and friends. They, even if they strongly insult them and quarrel with them, are so fond that they will forgive them anyway.
Root of evil
The feeling of anger is given by nature. It is necessary in order to mobilize all forces in the struggle at dangerous moments. But how it will be used by a person depends on the norms of morality inculcated in childhood. If parents show aggression towards a child, this will definitely come back to haunt. Relations between children and fathers, based on fear, are likely to be adopted by a teenager in communication with peers. It is in the family that the root of evil should be sought. Such education clearly explains why people become cruel.
Although in this situation, the child may develop another model of behavior: he decides that he is bad and is to blame for everything. Such a teenager becomes a victim of peer abuse. Often, he does not even look for methods of protection, believing that he deserved it.
Sometimes the cause of aggression may not be violence at all, but hyper-custody. This method of education puts a sense of permissiveness in the child’s subconscious. A teenager considers himself the most important and requires unquestioning obedience. Unfortunately, a person who has not been taught by parents to respect others will not draw this wisdom from anywhere else. He will not even notice how to humiliate.
Instability in society
An indirect cause of cruelty is increasing anxiety. Social inequality, instability give rise to a feeling of discomfort. From TV screens, people again see cruelty. A person whose psyche is formed is able to distinguish grain from husk; he will not accept aggression as a call to action. The child absorbs on-screen scenes of violence like a sponge. And he can perceive all this as a kind of school of life. It is important to realize how much such a television hurts the psyche of children, and the answer to the question: "Why did people become cruel?" will be instantly received.
Sense of rejection
It is especially developed in adolescence. However, many adults carry these feelings into adulthood. Quite often you can observe the picture when the baby exclaims loudly on the street and pokes a finger at a person with a different skin color or having a physical handicap.
Adults react very differently. On a subconscious level, they experience a sense of danger. Immediately there is a desire to eliminate oneself. But for some it manifests itself in cruelty and violence. It is this feeling that sometimes makes teenagers mock peers who are different from them. Why are people so cruel? Again, the grafted skills of tolerance and respect in the family will not allow a teenager or adult to behave this way.
How to defend a victim
Psychologists say that the team is easy enough to determine what kind of people are cruel and who is the “lamb”. Therefore, the victim of aggression is advised to identify on the following grounds:
- low self-esteem ;
- self-doubt;
- full acceptance of the opinion that troubles are deserved.
You should start with awareness of your "I". Any person has a number of advantages and disadvantages. He is what he is. And nobody has the right to offend him. Only by fully accepting this truth can one move further along the path of raising self-esteem and developing a sense of success. Parents can help the child in this awareness. For an adult, since the model of behavior has taken root, it is better to use the help of a professional psychologist.
As a rule, a passion for some new business helps a lot. You can even enroll in the martial arts section.
It is very important to consider the reaction to the offender. He will take you very differently if the answer is different from his expectations. In some cases, a sense of humor helps . Try not to give in to irritation and direct a complex conflict into the mainstream of a joke. At the same time, learn to perceive less acutely unpleasant situations.
How to deal with your own aggression?
The reasons described above give an idea of why good people become cruel. But how to deal with such manifestations? What to do if you start to boil internally?
Perfectly clean physical activity from negativity. After all, sport teaches conscious control over their emotions and body. Psychologists often recommend mastering breathing exercises. It will allow you to control both the body and the spirit.
Find a safe way out for accumulated negativity. Flush out your emotions with a scream. Only not to relatives and not to a colleague. Scream where you need it. For example, become an ardent football fan or attend rock concerts.
By the way, psychologists recommend this technique: get up near the railway in the evening. When the train passes, shout out that there is urine, as loud as you can. The noise of the wheels will drown out any sound. Nobody will hear you, but the body will receive the necessary discharge.
Conclusion
Remember that only you can cope with the feeling of cruelty that arises within you. And it is completely within your power. If you want to find the answer to the question "why are people so cruel", start with yourself. Analyze your behavior. Get rid of the poisonous feeling, because sooner or later it threatens to develop into a severe depression.