Lyudmila Petranovskaya is an amazing person. Despite the fact that she sees her goal as helping children left without parents, she in fact helps many parents to better understand the essence of upbringing and build harmonious relationships with children, not only with foster children, but primarily with their own. In the article you can learn about her biography, books and get acquainted with the most relevant ideas and thoughts that she expresses.
Lyudmila Petranovskaya: biography
Born on April 20, 1967 in Uzbekistan. By her first education, a philologist, received a psychological education at the Institute of Psychoanalysis, specializing in family counseling and psychodrama. In 2002, she was awarded the Presidential Award in the field of education. In 2012, Lyudmila Petranovskaya created the Institute for the Development of the Family Device for Orphans. The Institute is a public organization whose purpose is to train specialists in this field. For a psychologist, it is important that children left without parents do not end up in a boarding school, as this is a completely abnormal world.
In wide circles, Lyudmila Petranovskaya, whose photo can be seen below, became known thanks to her books on the issues of raising children. Books are written to help foster parents, but parents of non-foster children find in them a lot of valuable for themselves.
Books of Petranovskaya
Education, parents, relationships - a range of issues that Lyudmila Petranovskaya explores. Children are the main theme of her books. The most popular works: “If it is difficult with a child”, “What if”, “A child of two families”, “Less one? Plus one! ”,“ Secret support: affection in the life of a child ”,“ An adopted child came to the classroom. ”
In addition, she leads the LJ, writes a lot about different things: about personal growth trainings, about their dubious benefits and safety precautions, about generational trauma, about new skills complete with old ideas and what it leads to, about emotional burnout of parents and much more useful, relevant, offensive to the living. In a short article it is impossible to cover all the work of this amazing person, we’ll talk about one urgent topic that Lyudmila Petranovskaya raises. It is not customary to discuss it, but it causes a large number of problems.
Parental burnout
Burnout Syndrome has been documented and described in America in the last century. It was believed that it is characteristic only for people with specialties: social workers, teachers, doctors, etc. That is, those people who are constantly forced to be in a situation of dependent relationships, when weaker and more vulnerable are nearby.
Such communication creates the need to help one to be constantly in a cheerful, optimistic state, which, in fact, is a long stressful situation that destroys the psyche.
However, it turned out that this syndrome is also characteristic of parents. But it is not customary for us to discuss this, this situation is not socially approved, therefore, it is not customary to help the parent, despite the fact that the whole family suffers from emotional burnout.
Stages of emotional burnout
The main thing to understand is that the state does not appear suddenly and abruptly; it accumulates slowly and gradually. At the first stage, a person realizes that he is very tired, but can still control himself at the expense of a sense of duty. If a short rest allows you to feel a surge of strength, then this state of affairs is considered safe. A characteristic sensation for this stage is irritation.
At the second stage, thoughts that one can pull oneself together and endure are replaced by thoughts that endure is no longer possible. Any new task causes a feeling of despair, nervous exhaustion sets in, tears, a state of apathy, nothing pleases.
In the third stage, which is considered the most difficult, the deformation of the person begins. She is characterized by the idea that it’s not me who’s bad, it’s all around parasites, children begin to feel like a hindrance.
Risk groups
The risk group consists primarily of mothers with two children whose age difference is less than five years, parents whose child is often sick, mothers who combine family and work, single-parent families, when all the tasks fall on the shoulders of one parent, family, which are difficult living conditions, families in which conflicts constantly arise.
Adults who in the past survived a dysfunctional childhood. The presence of "witnesses", that is, when children behave badly with strangers.
A lot of stress is made up of a bunch of small problems. Therefore, from the outside it seems that there is no reason, just life. But when a person is already tired, then any little thing can become a reason for a breakdown, a reaction of inadequate misconduct, which gives rise to a feeling of guilt, and the situation becomes like a vicious circle.
What to do?
Get rid of multitasking. Do one thing at a time. If you are working, then let someone take care of the child at this moment. If you spend time with your child, then do not get distracted by work.
Get rid of all unnecessary and optional things. For dinner, dumplings are also suitable, and not three dishes and dessert, housework is only the most important thing, delegate tasks, seek help, take care of yourself.
Get rid of perfectionism. The desire to be perfect in everything is the shortest path to burnout. It is important to accept yourself imperfect, to treat yourself more carefully and affectionately.
If you feel that fatigue has already accumulated, you need to switch to energy saving mode. The amount of sleep for 7-8 hours is important. Come up with how to get enough sleep at least 2-3 times a week. Eat normally and regularly, go for walks, drink vitamins.
If you notice signs of emotional burnout in a loved one, it is important to support him: surround him with care, feed him, give him the opportunity to sleep, hug, stroke, bring breakfast to bed.
Want to know more?
All parents who are real or just planning to start realizing themselves in this role would like to recommend reading the books that Lyudmila Petranovskaya wrote. You will find many useful things for yourself, some complex things will turn out to be much simpler and easier.
In addition, it is worth subscribing to the psychologist’s live journal, where she regularly shares her thoughts and talks about projects. The social network “VKontakte” has its unofficial group, which has collected a lot of interesting and useful information about education, which gives Lyudmila Petranovskaya. Psychology is a topic that in its presentation becomes simpler and more understandable.
Also, the psychologist periodically holds seminars for parents, where you can get important information on how to raise a child happy, but at the same time do not lose yourself, where to find your mother strength and much more, ask the coach questions personally. She conducts them not only in Moscow, but also in other large cities of Russia. For example, not so long ago, seminars were held in Krasnoyarsk and Novosibirsk. It is also possible to attend online lectures delivered by Petranovskaya Lyudmila.