Forgiveness is the need to forget those offensive words spoken by a dear person. What can and cannot be forgiven? Let's try together to understand what forgiveness is. Everyone understands the meaning of this word in their own way.
Is it possible to justify the insult
Not all people are ready to accept words of forgiveness from their offender. The reason is that they do not have a clear idea of when you can talk about a real insult that cannot be forgotten. If unpleasant words were spoken without malicious intent, words of forgiveness can be heard.
Reasons for resentment
Forgiveness is not an excuse for the person who acts as the offender. It is not related to the behavior of the person who committed the crime against you. When is the forgiveness of sins allowed? For someone who is offended, who is ready to forget about the act committed in his respect, this is a kind of sacrifice for the sake of love, harmony in the family, relationships in the team. In those cases when the evil was intentionally done, it is difficult to find the strength in order to find justification for such actions. But psychologists are convinced that it is necessary to find within themselves the inner possibilities for the forgiveness of the offender. In this case, you will be able to live with a sense of freedom, a light heart, will not bend under the heavy load of evil and negative emotions. But in any case, the offender must bear the deserved punishment. During forgiveness, you will transfer your offender to the hands of God's court, give him the opportunity to do an act of justice. Do not forget that forgiveness is, in a sense, a divine concept that implies mercy and love, despite vile actions against you.
How to atone
Not all people are able to ask for forgiveness from a person. To do this, the offender must realize that he was wrong. What is forgiveness? The essence of this term is to forget about small insults that barely offend a vulnerable soul. In order to atone, the offender must demonstrate true repentance, confirm his words with active actions, right actions.
Will and Forgiveness
Forgiveness is a serious and responsible step, which indicates the presence of willpower for the one who committed the offense or, God forbid, the crime, but realized the illegality of his actions in relation to the offended person. There is an opinion according to which those who forgive their ill-wishers are considered weak and weak-willed people. In reality, this is an absolutely wrong point of view. Psychologists confirm the fact that the meaning of the word "forgiveness" is closely related to the manifestation of a strong spirit and will. It is necessary to make a lot of efforts in order to find the opportunity to repay resentment, hatred, anger. These feelings often visit a person, but in order to get rid of them, you have to make inhuman efforts. Not everyone is able to say the word "sorry." Forgiveness can only be asked for by truly strong-minded people involved in self-development and self-education.
How does this feeling arise
Analyzing the interpretation of the word "forgiveness", we note that such a desire appears only in those people who consciously made such a decision. When a person decided to let go of the desire to take revenge, he no longer wants to recover all the damage from his offender, he loses interest in him, returns to a state of inner harmony and peace. It is forgiveness that helps to open the heart so that all negative and suppressed feelings that destroy the soul and body leave it. What gives a person true forgiveness? The value of the decision made is difficult to evaluate, because thanks to this, you can save yourself from shame, bitterness, resentment, anger, hatred, guilt. With true, cleansing forgiveness, a person has a sense of peace and a wonderful world. The whole essence is filled with peace, the desire to evaluate the actions of people around us through the prism of negative emotions and feelings disappears. As a result, deep spiritual wounds are revealed, a healing balm falls on them, after which the pain completely subsides. The sincere words of forgiveness can be compared with a summer rainfall, which returns life to wilted plants and trees, cleanses them of dust and dirt, and revives wildlife. Throughout his life, a person repeatedly finds himself on the path of forgiveness.
Let go of the past
What is the lexical meaning of the word "forgiveness"? First of all, we are talking about accepting explanations from the offender. Often there are misunderstandings between people due to the fact that they did not listen to each other to the end, did not even try to understand their interlocutor, analyze his position, put themselves in his place. It would seem that in the distant past there were grievances, spiritual wounds were healed, but it often happens that the past rushes into everyday life again and again, causing you to relive unpleasant minutes of resentment and humiliation. For forgiveness, one person is enough, but for complete reconciliation, mutual desire is important. If you are convinced that you did your best to forgive your offender, and unseemly acts continue on his part, try to ignore him. If you limit the circle of friends gradually interest in your person from his side will weaken, and you will not need to endure humiliation. As for the punishment, the offender will have to answer before the highest court for all his humiliations, insults committed against you.
Home grievances
It is difficult when close and dear people commit treason against those who sincerely trust them. The hardest thing is to forgive domestic humiliation, insults, physical abuse. Statistics show that due to the numerous quarrels and grievances between spouses, the child’s psyche suffers in the first place. The child does not understand why he was guilty before mom or dad, why after a quarrel they transfer their negative emotions to him. In childhood, the psyche is unstable, vulnerable, so if the baby thinks that it is he who is the cause of all problems and conflicts in the family, he will try to save his parents from his presence. Unfortunately, suicide among children and adolescents has recently increased.
Love and forgiveness
How to cope with all insults, find strength in yourself in order to forgive? Everyone is trying to deal with such feelings in different ways. Some people make an appointment with a psychotherapist, while others are immersed in work. There are those who put the whole meaning of their existence into finding ways to avenge their offender for all his humiliation. Evil is destructive. Any attempt at revenge leads to the destruction of one's own personality, loss of desire to create, love, enjoy life.
Of course, you can’t just forget about the pain that you had to experience. But, setting yourself up for forgiveness, you can let go of the problems, let love and harmony into your heart. A new period of creation will begin in your life, and the time of destruction and deprivation will remain in the distant past. If your spouse has a new hobby, do not try to save the family by any means. You can not glue a vase that has broken into many small fragments. Try to analyze what is the reason for such his (her) behavior, to accept the situation from such a perspective in order to find a worthy exit from it.
How to learn to forgive
Try to change your lifestyle, include active sports, find yourself a suitable hobby. If this is not enough to understand and forgive those insults that were inflicted by another person, find another place of work, change (if possible) the region of residence. Not always the offended person has enough strength to completely forgive his offender, to agree to reconciliation. What is important to remember when accumulating resentment in your heart? The negative that you will ultimately concentrate in yourself will certainly lead to a general deterioration in your physical condition. Instead of enjoying life, enjoying communicating with people close to you, you will turn into a real “whiner" who endlessly complains about his wrongdoers. As a result, there will be almost no people near you who are ready to listen to all this. Are you ready for this state of affairs? Do not want to be in such an unpleasant situation? Then heed the advice of professional psychologists.
Professionals Recommendations
No matter how strange this may sound, psychologists recommend that their patients, telling about how much their loved one offended them, read poetry about forgiveness. In the process of reading, a positive attitude is formed in people, they cease to perceive the offender only from the negative side, try to look at him with different eyes. There are many examples of such verses in modern literature. Do not like poetry? Choose the options of works of art that are narrated in prose about how important it is to forgive another person in time, to let love and harmony into your heart. Familiarity with the works of Dostoevsky will be quite interesting and instructive. The author pays special attention to the moral torments of his heroes, remorse, and the search for the meaning of existence. After a detailed study of Dostoevsky’s novels, you will relate differently to those who caused you so many problems, made you suffer. There will be a desire to forgive the sinner, not to torment himself with feelings, to get rid of insults. Only that person who succeeds in “pulling out” malice from his heart can fully sense the meaning of life, enjoy the beauty of the world around him.
Consequences of the negative
A huge number of health problems arise precisely because of negative emotions. People who do not know how to forgive and do not want to learn this art, as a result, are more likely to suffer from nervous disorders. Doctors often send their patients for an initial consultation with a psychotherapist, if after laboratory tests they do not find the reason for their malaise. What can be considered the most terrible consequences of the inability to forgive your offender?
If a person does not have enough strength to deal with negativity, and he takes too many insulting words and actions towards him too close to his heart, he unwittingly searches for an easy way to solve accumulated problems. Very often, as a result, a person who is undeservedly humiliated, offended, turns into a chronic alcoholic or drug addict.
Conclusion
Forgiveness allows you to open your heart to positive emotions. Do not forget that just after you manage to find the strength in yourself in order to get rid of resentment, your whole life will radically change. A person who always smiles, is positively disposed to any vicissitudes of fate, rarely encounters such problems that are peculiar to the “bearer of negativity”. Try to radically change your behavior. And instead of constant reproaches towards other people, lead a conversation in a benevolent tone. You will see, in less than a few days, positive changes will come in your life. Forgiveness is a long and difficult journey. Step by step, you have to change your attitude to those words, situations that brought you emotional feelings, physical suffering. Not always the words of forgiveness that are said by the offender are fully accepted, so it is important to learn to listen, analyze, forgive.
By the way! It’s not always necessary to forgive other people. In life, such situations are possible in which the person himself must forgive himself for some actions in relation to his family and friends. For many, it is their own forgiveness that is the most difficult, because you need to admit your own mistakes and failures, find ways to eliminate the negative qualities in yourself.