What is flattery? Do you know how to flatter and for what purpose? Let's philosophize and plunge a little into the world of psychology.
What is flattery? “Flattery is a verbal perfume,” said the legendary Coco Chanel. And it really is. Dahl's explanatory dictionary states that flattery is insincere approval in order to achieve its objectives. I think everyone knows this, but do everyone know how to recognize flattery, without confusing it with a sincere recognition of your merits? Not? Do you know why? The reason lies in our psychology. I'll explain now.
Recall from the basic knowledge of economics Maslow’s pyramid, which presents all human needs, depending on their importance. For us, incredibly important:
- physiological needs ;
- security;
- affiliation and love;
- respect;
- cognition;
- aesthetic needs;
- self-actualization.
The most ordinary person can easily reach all points except the last. But in order to fully realize itself, it is necessary to make enough efforts and patience, which not everyone can do.
If you are not a recognized personality by all, but nature demands its own, our subconscious mind finds a way out: we begin to raise our significance as much as our conscience allows. This is where flattery comes onto the scene. In my opinion, Jean-Baptiste Moliere spoke very well on this subject in his work “Avaricious”: “Since there is no other means, it’s not the one who flatter, but the one who wants to be flattered.”
This once again confirms the idea that sometimes even gross flattery works wonders in communicating with those people who are so hungry for recognition that they are ready to neglect the warnings of the inner voice about the insincerity of the speakers. So what is flattery - evil or good?
Flattery is cheap praise, in other words, saying out loud what your interlocutor thinks of himself.
What does flattery mean in the decision-making world?
Dale Carnegie, Sigmund Freud and other well-known psychologists have proved that the only way to convince someone to do something is to give him the opportunity to want to do it. And the most effective way is skillful flattery.
Historical documents indicate that all the great rulers were sensitive to flattery, and thanks to this vicious feeling, they were far from making history. As an example, I want to bring Queen Victoria, the last representative of the Hanover dynasty. During her reign, Disraeli, who was the most sophisticated flatterer of all time the existence of the British Empire, had a huge influence on her decisions.
By no means do I urge you to practice flattery in everyday life. On the contrary, this is undesirable. What is flattery? This is a fake that, like fake money or works of art, will never bring you to good. I foresee your thoughts: "What, then, should be done?" Everything is simple, and again explained by human psychology.
Man 95% of his time is occupied with thoughts about himself. It’s worth a little distraction, and you can easily consider in your interlocutor the positive qualities worthy of admiration. Feel free to talk about them, on your part it will be a sincere recognition of him as a person who has succeeded in some areas.
After reading these thoughts, you yourself must come to the conclusion that such flattery and whether it is worth using? Or maybe still try to discern something good in an interesting person?