Do you want everything to be perfect? Do you spend a lot of time on continuous improvement: appearance, your work, the surrounding space, relatives and friends? It seems to you that nobody will love you "imperfect"? Perfectionism ... Is it a virtue or a serious problem?
Is it worth it to encourage and cultivate, or is it necessary to fight it?
Most of us set certain, often very high standards. Since childhood, parents have suggested that you need to fight for love, to be better, smarter, more diligent. Someone is trying to constantly compete with other people, ahead of them in everything, longs for recognition and approval. Perfectionism is an excessive desire for an unattainable ideal. It would be a virtue (and often it is in the eyes of other people who see the results of our achievements or work) if it did not cause so much internal tension.
No matter how ironic it may sound, perfectionism is a hindrance in realizing our true potential. Why? For the simple reason that in the pursuit of excellence we sometimes forget about the main thing: about life itself, about the purpose of our labors and concerns. We are becoming less efficient. Even when
we complete one task, we constantly return to it to understand what could or will be changed for the better. As a result, we do not have a feeling of satisfaction, and the project over which we pore endlessly remains "imperfect." We spend much more time on our affairs and tasks than is required.
Sometimes, improvements not only do not improve what we are working on, but also harm the fruits of endeavor. An example is the presentation of a project. It seems to us that the topic is not yet fully disclosed, we are bogged down in the endless addition of details and details, links and quotes. As a result, the project loses transparency and clarity. Remember that in many ways the best is the real enemy of the good.
Perfectionism is also the constant expectation of an “ideal” moment. Which, most likely, will never come, but without which we cannot make decisions. This can be compared with the expression "wait by the sea for the weather." There will always be something to complain about: either too cloudy, then the sun dazzles, then too cold, then unbearably hot. Clinging to the little things, we lose sight of the wider picture, the perspective.
What other difficulties does perfectionism cause? This is a nervous tension and increased anxiety. We expect problems before they actually arise, and in a panic we come up with solutions. It becomes an obsession to prevent potential difficulties.
However, most of the problems either never appear or are insignificant. Perfectionism in psychology is considered mainly from the standpoint of the stress and excitement that it causes. And although this quality helps to constantly strive for higher standards and become better, dissatisfaction is inevitable. And it is followed by frustration, a sense of self-insignificance, a loss of self-confidence.
How to deal with perfectionism and is it worth it? If this property has acquired the character of obsession, neurosis, then psychotherapy can help. However, man himself will be able to do a lot for himself. But do not stop being a perfectionist, but learn to manage your condition.
Learn to look at the picture as a whole, to single out the main thing. Try to clearly follow the plan. For example, if you set aside 2 hours to complete a business, after them take a break, do not allow unnecessary parts and grinding to swallow you for another half day. Learn to also say "stop." Yes, you know about the imperfection of a thing or a project and that something else can be added and improved. But compare what you have achieved with the intended purpose. If it is done in the main, try to disconnect and do something else. Perhaps taking a fresh look at the task, you will realize that everything is already quite good.