People very often suffer from the fact that they misunderstand their interlocutor. Having misinterpreted a person’s words, it’s easy to take offense at him. Conflict-free communication is that the opponents listen to each other and do not allow situations when their dialogue gets out of the control of the mind and transferred to the control of the senses. How to learn to avoid conflicts?
Follow the words
People must be aware of what they are saying. Conflict-free communication is based on well-chosen words. A person can be offended not only by the opponent’s thoughts, but also by the way they are designed. Before speaking, try to give the floor to the interlocutor. Listen to how a person speaks. Pay attention to slang and speech style. Make adjustments and talk with the person in his language. No need to be clever and wonder. Someone may consider that all people should be treated with emphatically politely. Some people may perceive this style of communication as arrogance.
In order to achieve conflict-free communication between preschool children, it is necessary to explain to each child that words are a powerful weapon. And weapons should not be taken out once again. Advise the kid to treat all friends with friends. Explain that offensive words must not be used in any way.
Watch for gestures
Conflict-free communication involves both verbal and non-verbal communication. A person should be able to control their gestures. During the conversation, do not try to close yourself from the other person. Do not cross your arms or cross your legs. Try to relax and take the most natural pose. Do not know where to put your hands during a conversation? Let them gesticulate. Gesture helps a person to feel more relaxed and confident. But do not wave your arms too much. Your wide gestures will not be appreciated if you continually touch the interlocutor’s hands.
You need to monitor not only the body, but also the face. Try to relax your muscles and smile during a conversation. Learn to smile even to persons unpleasant to you. Rude to a skeptical person is easy, but offending a friendly person is much more difficult.
Think what you're talking about
A person should always be aware of his thoughts, which he puts into words. Sometimes people are so keen on talking that they forget who they are talking to. Your friend will be able to forgive you insulting remarks, but a stranger can be offended. Conflict-free communication requires total control over the conversation. Go deep into every word of the interlocutor and pick up the words yourself with special care. Do not be afraid that short pauses will hang from time to time. But the conversation will be exclusively friendly.
Never specifically try to insult a person. Today it is fashionable to speak caustic and caustic. But, before pronouncing the offensive phrase, think about it, it would be nice for you to hear it addressed to you. Not? Then do not utter offensive words.
Communicate with everyone the same
Never judge people biased. All people are good. Such a thought should visit you whenever you meet a person. Someone can argue with this statement. Yes, there are individuals who do not behave very courteously. You should understand that the more unhappy a person is, the worse he behaves. A person who is doing well in life will not insult and humiliate you. But a person who is deeply unhappy will constantly run into conflict. What are the ways of conflict-free communication? One of them is to communicate with all people equally. Do not divide people into good and bad. Talk to everyone kindly and openly. Do not be afraid to smile and joke. Humor helps defuse even the most intense atmosphere. If you communicate with an unpleasant person from a distance or unfriendly, the person will switch with you to the same style of conversation. And then the conflict will not be avoided.
Do not put yourself above others
The first rule of conflict-free communication is not to be asked. A person must understand his place in this world and have an adequate assessment of his own abilities. But this does not mean that communicating with people who are lower in the social ladder needs to be biased. Try not to wonder. Nobody likes people who constantly show their successes and try to demonstrate their achievements in any successful case. This is very annoying to people who could not achieve much in life. Do not try to humiliate such persons. Not everyone in life has been lucky. All people have their own life circumstances. If you want to learn how to attract any interlocutors, try to talk to people in their language.
Don't get annoyed
One of the rules for organizing conflict-free communication is control over your emotions. A man who is on a platoon will never be able to control his thoughts and words. In order not to eliminate the consequences of rash decisions, do not allow passions. Be calm. It is not always possible to be detached from a topic that is very exciting. In this case, practice the third-party dialogue method. Imagine that you are only watching the dialogue, and its topic does not concern you. When a person is removed from direct participation, it becomes morally easier for him to take control of his feelings.
You can also practice how to discharge the atmosphere with additional questions. Often a person does not understand his interlocutor and is not angry at him, but at the fact that he did not fully understand what his opponent meant. By asking additional questions, you will be sure that you will understand your interlocutor correctly.
Let the person have an opinion
People who often conflict with their acquaintances cannot accept one simple rule: each person has the right to his own opinion. And in some cases, people's opinions will diverge. This is normal. Do not blame a person for the fact that his set of values does not match yours. All people were brought up in different conditions and social strata. Each person has different values and life priorities. Not surprisingly, the opinion on many issues, especially philosophical ones, will not coincide. Skills of conflict-free communication must be laid in childhood. Parents should inspire the child that each person should choose their own destiny. Each individual has the right to do what he wants. And if the desires of a person in no way harm others, then he is free to do whatever he wants. Such a thought allows people to communicate better. You can not accept the point of view of a person, but to understand it, you need to learn.
Learn to admit your mistakes
Organization of conflict-free communication of children is a complex process. Parents must teach their child to admit mistakes. People cannot live in peace and not make mistakes. It is through mistakes that a person knows what can and cannot be done. Learning from the mistakes of others is good, but few people know how to do it. Your mistakes are remembered for a long time. But for some reason in our society there is an opinion that it is a shame to make mistakes. This idea is laid by parents in the head of kids. It is not surprising that children will try to hide the result of their erroneous acts. And they will refuse to admit their misconduct. We need to teach children that admitting their mistakes is not a shame. After all, any unsuccessful action is a lesson, having learned which you can move on with a confident step. But not only children cannot recognize their failures. Adults also suffer from this "disease." People try to hide the result of their erroneous actions even when they are openly declared to them that they were wrong. We must learn to admit our guilt, draw conclusions from it and not make mistakes anymore. Recognizing his mistakes, a person will less likely conflict with others.
Listen man
Conflict-free communication and self-regulation are possible only when you listen to your interlocutor. Everyone can listen to the opponent’s words, but hearing them is an amazing ability. People rarely attach importance to the thoughts expressed by their interlocutor. Why? A man, when he does not express his opinion, begins to form the thought that he will utter when the opponent finishes ranting. Such a policy is very ineffective. A person does not listen to his interlocutor, and, as a result, does not understand his thoughts. In order not to conflict with people, you need to learn to listen to them. Try to ignore your thoughts and focus on what the other person is telling you. The opponent’s thoughts will reach you, and you can better build a dialogue and understand the person.
Find a compromise
Everyone must learn to give in. All the time to defend their point of view is impossible. To live normally in society, sometimes you have to compromise. Learn to compromise your own opinion, and then you can achieve great success. Do not try to embrace the immensity. Imposing an opinion on everyone around you will fail. Therefore, learn to find a middle ground so that it partially satisfies your desires and partially, your opponent’s desires.