How not to be annoyed at the child, if he behaves very badly, interests almost all parents. Every mother more than once in her life felt that her patience was coming to an end. In such a situation, it is very important to stop, so as not to cross the point of no return, when parents can yell at the child and sometimes strike.
Why are parents angry?
Annoyed by children, what to do? Before proceeding to consider this issue, you should understand the causes of anger in parents.
- Baby behavior is the most common cause of anger on the part of parents. Most often, disobedience, moods, poor school performance, unwillingness to help and child aggression cause anger in adults. Parents are often lost when their children cry and cannot find a way out of the situation. Often, when asked to calm down against the baby, adults suffer a defeat, which then flows into aggression.
- Stress and problems of parents. Often the anger that spills over the child is undeserved. Adults very painfully endure problems at work, traffic jams, rudeness in the store, unpaid mortgages or loans on time, and much more. All these troubles accumulate, and subsequently lead to the fact that parents break down on their child, who is not to blame for such situations.
- Relationships within the family. When the couple is constantly busy with the child, they do not have enough time to be alone. Financial disagreements between parents often result in negative emotions for children.
- Habit. Sometimes mom and dad break their anger at children only because they did this to them in childhood.
Dangers of anger
"Constantly annoyed at the child!" If this feeling is peculiar to you, then it is necessary to begin to struggle with it. Since communication with a child in raised tones or insults to him can have serious consequences:
- Difficulties in communication between parents and children in the near future. Resentment always gives rise to the emergence of inner feelings and isolation. This has a particularly negative effect on the children's psyche. But if the child gets used to screaming and insulting, then his nervous system is very stable. But here you should not rejoice, as a result of such children become uncontrollable, and try to intentionally behave badly.
- The fear of their parents can lead to the fact that the child becomes aggressive in relation to the people around him. Such children tend to transfer the family model of behavior to classmates. Therefore, they begin to command over others, raise their voices and get angry. That is, they assert themselves in the team in similar ways.
- Anger on the part of parents leads to the fact that children become unsure of themselves. Subsequently, they have serious problems with self-esteem and having friends.
How to stop getting angry and annoyed at a child?
Some parents tend to scream at their own children because of trifles, while others, on the contrary, when the situation is completely out of control. An adult who loves his child almost always regrets that he could not restrain negative emotions.
Before you understand how to stop getting mad at the baby, you should put yourself in his place. Imagine that your loved one runs out of patience and he begins to yell at you. Now put yourself in the shoes of a child who is completely up to you in terms of food, shelter, safety and protection. He perfectly understands that parents are his only sources of love, care and protection in this world, and that he has nowhere else to go. Therefore, anger towards the baby translates into a serious psychological problem for him.
It has been proven that children who were subjected to physical punishment by their parents, including spanking in the pope, have long-term negative consequences that are reflected in all aspects of life.
If the children are not afraid of your screams and anger, then this means that they have developed a kind of immunity against the negative. But such a child is unlikely to behave well in the future to please his parents. In addition, he can easily succumb to the evil influence of peers.
If you tend to talk with your children in high tones or blame them for trifles, then you need to understand in detail the question of how to stop getting annoyed with the child.
Create borders
Often, adults tend to be angry when something annoys them. A moment of anger is already the first signal that something needs to be done. You can not scream, blame and blame the child. Your intervention should be positively constructive.
If you don’t like what your children are doing, then explain to them that you are getting angry. Describe in detail the reason for their dissatisfaction. These can be toys scattered around the house, unwillingness to wash in the morning, and more. Your task is to establish the child the time limits during which he must correct the current state of affairs. Let's say: “Lunch will be ready in 10 minutes. “I want you to remove all the toys by this time, wash your hands and sit at the table.”
If your anger is caused by negative events during the day, then talk with the children and explain that you are very tired and want to relax. And from them it is required that they behave quietly and calmly.
Psychologists' recommendations
Most parents understand the basic principles of relations with their children, however, how to learn not to get annoyed with the child in practice is already more difficult. Sometimes children behave in such a way that adults cannot control themselves. Therefore, in order to foresee possible outbursts of anger, you should find a way to calm. In moments of anger, you need to stop and take a few deep breaths. Remind yourself that this is not the end of the world, but just another trick of your child.
If possible, turn on relaxing music and try to calm down. Some still use a pillow-blowing method that relieves stress. Only it is necessary to do this so that no one sees you. Otherwise, you risk scaring not only adults, but also the child. The kid will understand perfectly that the image of his head is laid in the pillow, since it was he who provoked the aggression of the mother. As a result, this picture can be preserved in the memory of the child.
Despite the famous idea that it is necessary to take out negative emotions so that they do not corrode us from the inside, no one has the right to pour out his anger on another person.
Moreover, studies show that when a person expresses his anger at the moment of anger, then his irritation only intensifies. So discharge your anger through physical activity, it will be much easier to communicate with the interlocutor.
Listen to your feelings of anger
“I’m annoyed at a child for any reason”, this phrase can be heard from most mothers whose children are going through stages of growing up. Anger, anger and other feelings are an integral part of our lives. And only we are responsible for how to deal with them. It is very important to understand that, doing something in a fit of emotion, we would not do it in a calm state.
Sometimes mothers tend to be angry at children because of their tiredness. They need to be fed, put to bed, play with them and so on. But the baby is not to blame for this, and mom just takes out her anger from him with fatigue. It is very important to be aware of the existence of this fine line. Indeed, the fact that you are tired is not to blame for the child, but perhaps it is your spouse who does not take on part of the responsibilities for caring for the baby. Or maybe you yourself are to blame for this, because you rely solely on your own strengths.
Avoid using physical force
There is another area of emotional weakness in parents. Young mothers sometimes honestly admit: "I get very annoyed at the baby when I cry, what should I do?" In this case, it is recommended to maintain composure. Despite the fact that tears are caused by hysteria or whims, you should keep yourself in control. Having slapped your child, you can calm down only for a while, and then you will really regret what you have done. Moreover, physical punishment can negate all the good that you do for your baby.
In order not to fall off on the child, it is necessary to do everything possible. To get started, leave the room and calm down. If you were unable to restrain yourself, and you spanked the baby, then be sure to apologize to him and try to strengthen the shaky relationship. Show him that you were very evil, but love him very much no matter what.
And remember that it is better to prevent the occurrence of such problems than to restore trusting relationships with the baby.
A child is a mirror of parents
Why a child is annoyed is of interest to many parents. For the baby to learn how to control his emotions, he needs an example. Therefore, it is so important for parents to learn to restrain anger, screaming and annoyance towards their child.
Remember that children do not tend to do something for evil. He can scatter toys, pour stewed fruit or stain clothes completely by accident. Therefore, treat the child as a child. And if once again the baby is babbling, then keep in mind the thought that he is still small.
Take a rest
How to stop being annoyed at a child when there is already not enough strength to explain the same thing several times? Often such questions are asked by mothers, who are almost on the verge of nervous exhaustion. If you feel tired, then you just need to relax. In such situations, you need to act on the principle of a possible plane crash: first we put on an oxygen mask on ourselves, and then we deal with the baby. Such an “oxygen mask” can be a change of scenery for a while, taking a relaxing bath, watching your favorite series, and more. Each has its own way in order to rest and relax.
Stay with the children
The question of how not to get annoyed with the child, we examined in detail. But sometimes situations arise when it is unrealistic to restrain anger. Often children do things that force their parents to raise their voice, despite all the ways of complacency.
It is very important to show the baby that despite the fact that you are very angry with him, you still remain on his side. You just need to understand the situation together and explain to him what he is to blame.
Work on yourself
It is very important for each mother to work out the causes of her anger towards the child, and also to analyze the situation in detail. Perhaps during the analysis you will find a lot of alternative ways to solve the problem, avoiding irritation, anger and screaming. It is very important for parents to work on controlling their emotions in relation to their own children, since negativity disturbs the psyche of a small person. Sometimes it’s good for mom to cry. This method helps to exit the feeling of irritation and anger through tears.
Learn to be a parent
"Annoyed when the baby cries." How often do you hear a similar phrase from your parents? Probably, every mother at least once complained about her baby when he behaves badly or arranges tantrums for no reason. Yes, it freaks out and makes me seriously nervous. But you must be aware that this is only your child, and his development as a person depends on your reaction.
Feel free to read books on parenting. Professional parental qualifications need to be improved, like any other. Moreover, understanding the reasons for your child’s behavior in various situations significantly reduces incidents that contribute to the irritation and anger of the mother.
The role of education
It is important to reflect on your role in the life of the baby, and then it will be easier to understand how not to get annoyed at the child. Remember that parenting is the foundation for building relationships between parents and children. Kids grow up quickly, and after a while, educational functions will leave your life, and only relationships that take years will remain. And what it will be - warmth and intimacy or a feeling of alienation and many grievances - depends entirely on the parents.
Your baby is the best
So we have come to the end of our consideration of the topic related to how not to be annoyed at our child. Perhaps the most important piece of advice is for parents to remember that their child is the best in the world. And in a fit of anger all his positive qualities were recalled. When you want to yell at a child, remember how much you love him and be proud of him.
But this does not mean at all that you should let everything go of your child. It is simply necessary to approach the education process very competently so as not to lose confidence in the eyes of your baby.