Hyperopeca is the excessive care of parents about their child. Everyone knows what the consequences are of educating in this style. But people are interesting creatures. They know the dangers of smoking and still smoke. It is difficult to restrain oneself and not follow the habits of oneβs habits or moral principles. How does hyperprotection affect a child and what consequences await a person brought up in this style?
Definition
Hyperopeca is a concern that transcends the limits of the rational. Usually this style of upbringing is characteristic of single mothers. But even in an absolutely normal family you can find examples of such an approach to education. People who have no hobbies can spend their lives raising a perfect child. But, as you know, the best intentions often go sideways. This happens with hyper-custody. Caring, which for some natural or far-fetched reasons transcends the norm, makes children become lazy, apathetic, and spineless. Do you want your child up to 30 years old to hold on to your skirt? Then patronize him as much as possible. If raising a girl in this style can still get away with her mother, then a son who can not imagine his life without a mother is a terrible phenomenon.
Types
What are the types of education? Hyperopec can be divided into the following types:
- Dominant. One of the parents is a strong-willed person and demands unquestioning obedience from his family. Most often, a manifestation of such a character trait can be found in a business woman. Women want everything under their control. They do not give the child the opportunity to decide anything on their own. Mom knows what to wear to the child, what to eat and in which section to sign up. The desire of the child does not play any role. Such women are used to commanding, and they are building not only children, but also husbands.
- Indulging. Hyperopeca is an excessive concern. It can have different roots. Parents who love their child very much can completely obey him. They will fulfill any whim and see that the child does not get into a difficult situation. Mom does not hesitate to pamper the child, arguing that the child should have a happy childhood.
- Demo. People with low self-esteem subconsciously seek power. They think that, having received it in their own hands, they will immediately rise in their own eyes and those of others. Weak women can only have children to command them. Moreover, they may not show extreme care at home, but in public they will play unthinkable performances.
- Inert. Children grow up quickly, but not all parents want and can notice it. For mom, the child will always remain a small defenseless creature. For this reason, a mother can take care of her child even when he grows up and becomes a teenager.
Is Hyperopec inherited?
Parenting and family life leaves its mark on the psyche of the child. Hyperopeca is a parenting style that is inherited. This line of behavior is assimilated by the child from infancy. It seems normal to the kid that they are pushed around and his opinions are never asked. He is small, and his parents know what will be better for him. Such a position will be forever imprinted in the head of a young creature, and, having given birth to his child, a person will build on the upbringing style in which he grew up. Therefore, do not be surprised that a weak and spineless person can be a tyrant in relation to his child. They say that in the pool there are devils. And indeed it is. A notorious person cannot normally control his emotions and feelings. For this reason, she has to find detente somewhere on the side, for example, pour out discontent or, conversely, excessive concern for her child.
Causes
How can one explain hyperopec? The reasons for this style of education can be different.
- Fear of loss. Loneliness drives a person crazy. Nobody wants to be alone. A person always needs to know that he is loved and appreciated. A mother who has no one except her child will be afraid to lose her child. On this basis, she may have various fears. The woman will make sure that the child is not exposed to danger οΌ both physical and psychological.
- The real threat to life. Hyperopeca of children in some parents begins from the moment when the baby's life is in the balance of death. If the child fell off the couch and severely injured his head, the mother would be worried about this topic, and she might have a fear that the situation would happen again. From this moment, the child is waiting for constant monitoring.
- Inferiority complex. Parents who suffer from low self-esteem can become tyrants for their children. They do not have authority in society and will try to get it in the family.
Loss of one's own life
What are the consequences of hyperprotection for parents? A mother who has dissolved in the upbringing of her child will not find the meaning of life after the child grows up. A woman will demand from the child that he give her the increased attention that she once paid to him. Parents who could not fulfill themselves will blame the child for the fact that he was the cause of all the failures. Therefore, they may have an aversion to their own children. This can occur in constant conflicts and quarrels. Parental hyperopeca can lead to suicide. This is especially true for women. A mother who feels lonely will manipulate her child. She will not be able to fully enjoy life and will take sedatives. And if the child disappoints the woman, he can go to extreme measures and say goodbye to life.
Conflict
Hyperopeca over a child leads to the fact that the character of a person is greatly deteriorated. If this happens unnoticed in childhood, and parents attribute whims to the stupidity and weakness of the child, then with age it will be difficult to not notice the obvious. A child, to demonstrate independence to his loved ones, can go to extreme measures. For example, as a teenager, a young man may start drinking or smoking. Perhaps these actions will not give him pleasure, but they will infuriate his parents, and as a protest over excessive control, the child will continue to spoil his health.
Conflicts may arise due to domestic problems. If a mother protected her child until the age of 12 and did not accustom him to work, then one should not expect a miracle: a child who is not used to helping adults will grow up as a lazy person. Screaming at him will be useless; he will also react violently in response. Conflicts can arise from scratch. The teenager will defend his interests in any way possible, up to attempts to escape from home.
Enclosure
The consequences of hyper-custody of parents can be expressed not only in conflict behavior. If a mother or a father crushed a child with his authority all his life, he will not be able to conflict with them. A clogged personality will shut itself in. The child will grow secretive and apathetic. Itβs impossible to read his thoughts, and itβs hard to get into a conversation. A closed person will be poorly socialized, because the fear that a bad attitude is everywhere will make the child silent. It will be impossible to overcome yourself in such a situation.
A silent person with low self-esteem needs the help of a psychologist. Why? If feelings and emotions do not find a discharge, then they can accumulate inside and then find a way out in asocial behavior. For example, there are cases when self-contained adolescents killed their peers, parents or teachers. And if the child does not have the courage to kill his surroundings, then he will come to the conclusion that he needs to commit suicide.
Laziness
What else could be the consequences of hyperprotection in adulthood? If a mother protected her child from danger all her life, cherished him and cherished, then such a person will grow up lazy and apathetic. Why work if mom, as a superman, always comes to the rescue? A woman will cook, wash, find money for a child to walk. Growing up, such personalities believe that the whole world will shake over them as much as their mother. What a disappointment awaits such people! Getting into a harsh world, where mutual assistance is a rare occurrence, a person is lost. He has no desire to achieve something and to strive for something. A person who is used to a comfortable and lazy life will simply lower her requirements. She will get a job where she is paid little, but they are not forced to do anything. Such a position in life will help maintain their existence, but not live.
Career problems
As already mentioned above, laziness and lack of motivation will not play into the hands of a child who was brought up in the style of hyper-custody. Such employees are not appreciated. And how can one appreciate a person who is not able to make independent decisions and be responsible for their consequences? Responsible posts brawler or closed personality will not be able to take. Children who were brought up in the style of hyper-care are poorly socialized. It will be difficult for them to find a common language with colleagues and clients. People with a complex character and many complexes will not be able to choose a job in their specialty. After all, at the institute they did not listen to objects, since their brain was busy with one thought - to quickly get rid of eternal control.
Difficulties will arise with the distribution of finances. A person who is not used to working will not be able to receive decent wages. But inflated needs require their satisfaction. For this reason, many children who grew up in an overly caring family choose crime instead of normal work.
Lack of fear
A person who has been protected from all dangers since childhood will not be afraid of anything. Fear is unknown to him. Learning from the mistakes of others is possible only when you have the experience of making your own. If the mother guarded the child all his life, he will not know what it is to fall from a tree or to break a knee by falling from a bicycle. A fearless person only seems to be an attractive person. In fact, such a person often lacks prudence. A person can drive a car around the city at high speed, not think about the consequences. Such people endanger not only their lives, but also the lives of other people.
Proper education
The child should receive protection and care in the right dosage. Mom needs to protect the child from stupid actions, for example, do not let him put his fingers in the socket. But nevertheless, the child should be given the opportunity to learn from experience what pain and fear are. If the baby reaches for a hot steam with his finger, give him the opportunity to burn himself. After such a lesson, your child will not have the desire to put his hands in boiling water, as he will be able to draw a simple analogy. No need to be afraid that the child will break his knee. The bruise will heal, but the instinct of self-preservation will work as it should.