In life, one often encounters the word "vindictive." One hears this word in his address, the other calls someone from acquaintances. What does it mean - a vindictive person? And why are there more and more such people?
"Descendant of Count Monte Cristo"
The vindictive person is a person who remembers in detail the circumstances associated with offensive facts in relation to him. A man withholding anger and feelings of grief for a long time in his soul and memory. It is difficult for him to forget and even more to forgive the insults, even if the event happened a few years ago. There is such an anecdote: "I'm not vindictive, I'm just evil, and I have a good memory!"
Most of these people dream of getting even with those who, in their opinion, are responsible for their bitterness.
The vindictive person is a portrait of an unhappy subject. A person living past grievances, not forgiving offenders, whose bitter feelings corrode her from the inside.
Quite often, global insults and insults that have been oppressing a person for years, with a reasonable analysis, turn out to be small situations not worthy of attention.
A vindictive personality problem is seen in black light. A man lives in a constant constraint of offended feelings and self-eating. The vindictive person's life is overshadowed by bad memories, which are given great importance.
Children's grievances
The vindictive person is a sensual person with a wounded self-esteem, which tends to see an unfavorable attitude in one's direction from others. Most often vindictive people are children who observe an example of unforgiveness from hard parents. To ask for forgiveness from the child, to treat him as a full-fledged personality, to reckon with his feelings is not accepted in most mothers and fathers. Children are perceived as robots, obliged to show emotions and desires, only when it is convenient for adults. A rare manifestation of praise and encouraging signs, the maximum number of reproaches and claims, unwillingness to accept parental guilt in front of a child and focusing on bad qualities in the future will bring an embittered personality.
The psychology of the vindictive person speaks of a line of behavior copied in childhood from close relatives who lived and were close by. They behaved just like that.
What vindictive person is this?
Many are interested in this question. To understand why the vindictive person has long held a grudge, it is worth analyzing his inner world.
Vindictiveness and revenge are bad qualities, most often they belong to a weak personality, not able to relate to someone else's opinion easily and naturally. Usually these are gloomy individuals who are not able to build friendships for a long period of time. They relate to others very demanding, not wanting to put up with other people's flaws, not noticing their own bad qualities.
Bitterness river
Vindictiveness and vengeance did not make a single person happy. Feelings of constant bitterness, like worms, eat a person from the inside, making it difficult to feel the taste and joy of life. Constantly thinking about his offenders, a person loses the ability to enjoy pleasant events. The habit of bitterness subsequently flows into eternal suspicion and makes one relate with complete distrust to the whole society. A vengeful person dooms himself to loneliness and dissatisfaction with life.
Grudge is fraught with some danger, as well as:
- Feeling of great resentment mixed with helplessness.
- Obsession with insults or bitter deeds in relation to oneself.
- Lack of forgiveness and generosity.
- Destruction of harmony, peace of mind.
- Ignoring a friendly attitude, looking for enemies and enemies.
A person who lives with old grievances, constantly scrolls through unpleasant situations in his memory, actually has a hard time.
Staying in an oppressed world of heavy emotions, a vindictive person can realize this or deny it, but at best he will try to change his essence and attitude towards insults.
Necessary changes
It is possible and necessary to deal with negative feelings. With some effort, a person will learn to see the situation from a different angle, get rid of his hypersensitivity and plans for revenge.
- Positive attitude. Do not take seriously the actions of others in relation to yourself. Each person has personal motives or mistakes in relations with people. It is necessary to perceive offenders as inexperienced children who tend to act stupidly.
- Focus on the positives. Observing the wrong actions of other people, you should analyze their motive, looking for something good for yourself.
- Constructive attitude. Calmly observing the abuser's unsuccessful attempts to inflict pain, a self-confident person causes him a feeling of annoyance and irritation, while protecting his own health and inner balance. Failing to achieve his goal, the enemy sooner or later ceases to inflict "moral blows", experiencing further respect for such a strong, self-possessed person.
- Indifference to the opinions of others. Gossip and criticism will not inflict any moral trauma on a person indifferent to public utterances.
With a smile to the future
Life is multifaceted and interesting. The harmonious person is not subject to the concepts of “revenge”, enemies, “resentment.” He enjoys the world around him and relationships with people, with dignity parrying sideways glances and sharp words. When meeting with an unfair relationship, he draws for himself the appropriate conclusions and continues to move on, leaving an unpleasant event in the past.