Each of us uses verbal and non-verbal behavior in communication. We transmit information not only through speech, but also through a variety of means. In this article, we will examine verbal and non-verbal behavior in detail. You will learn many interesting facts about communication, as well as get a number of valuable tips.
Verbal behavior
Verbal behavior involves communication through words. From early childhood, we are taught to express our thoughts logically, so an adult usually does not have problems with their expression. The ornate speech and eloquence are acquired with experience. However, only 7% of what we say is perceived by others through the meaning that is contained in the words. The rest is through non-verbal reactions and intonation. In business communication, oddly enough, the most important factor is listening, not speaking. Unfortunately, not many of us have learned to be attentive to what our interlocutor says.
Listening to emotions and facts is listening to the message in full. By doing so, a person increases the likelihood that the information conveyed to him will be understood. In addition, he shows that he respects the message transmitted by the speakers.
Rules for effective communication proposed by Keith Davis
Professor Keith Davis outlined the following 10 rules for effective listening.
- It is impossible to perceive information when you speak, so stop talking.
- Help your interlocutor to relax. It is necessary to make the person feel freedom, that is, to create a relaxed atmosphere.
- The speaker should show your willingness to listen. You should act and look interested. When listening to another, try to understand him, and not seek out reasons for objection.
- Annoying moments must be eliminated. Avoid tapping the table, drawing, or shifting papers while chatting. Perhaps with a closed door, information will be better perceived?
- The speaker should empathize. To do this, try to imagine yourself in his place.
- Be patient. Do not interrupt the interlocutor, do not save time.
- Restrain character. If a person is angry, he gives the wrong meaning to his words.
- Avoid criticism and controversy. This forces one who speaks to take a defensive position. He may also become angry or shut up. No need to argue. In fact, you lose if you win the argument.
- Ask your interlocutor questions. This will encourage him and show him that they are listening to him.
- And finally, stop talking. This advice goes first and last, since everyone else depends on it.
In addition to the ability to effectively listen to your interlocutor, there are other ways to improve the art of communication. Before conveying ideas, you need to clarify them, that is, you should systematically analyze and ponder the questions, ideas, or problems that you plan to tell another. If you want to achieve success in your career or personal life, it is very important to consider the various features of interpersonal interaction. Researchers say that, along with verbal (verbal) communication, it is necessary to take into account the non-verbal language that people use.
Nonverbal language
It should be noted that this concept involves not only the control of one’s behavior, the ability to interpret the partner’s facial expressions and gestures, but also the zone of a person’s personal territory, its mental essence. In addition, this concept includes national features of the interlocutors' behavior, their mutual arrangement in the communication process, the ability of partners to decipher the meaning of using such aids as cigarettes, glasses, lipstick, an umbrella, a mirror, etc.
Non-verbal behavior
Thinking about communication, we mean primarily the language. However, it is only part of the means of communication, and perhaps not the main one in such a process as communication. Non-verbal behavior often plays an even greater role. When communicating, we use many ways to convey our feelings, thoughts, aspirations and desires to others. Such means of communication are called nonverbal. This means that words or sentences are not used in them. Communication, considered in a broad sense, is not only verbal.
Non-verbal channels of communication
They can be divided into two categories. The first is non-verbal behavior, and the second is characteristics that are not related to it.
Behavior "non-verbal" includes all types of behavior (except for pronouncing words) that occur in the process of communication. It includes:
- facial expression ;
- posture, orientation and inclination of the body;
- gestures and movements of the legs;
- pitch, tone of voice and its other vocal characteristics, intonation and pauses, speech speed;
- touch
- communication distance;
- gaze as well as visual attention.
Thus, non-verbal behavior includes both that which is usually associated with active self-expression in our country, and that which refers to more subtle and less vivid manifestations.
As for non- behavioral non-verbal communication, it covers many signals and sources of messages that cannot be derived directly from behavior. It is interesting that interpersonal communication is influenced by such trifles as the use of the type of clothing, time, architectural structures where we work and live, cosmetic amendments that we make to our appearance. All this is defined as hidden forms of communication. Such non-behavioral moments in the process of communication transmit information to the interlocutor along with non-verbal behavior and language. Verbal and non-verbal communication, when we perceive a person, form a single whole.
Non-verbal behavior is a rather complex and deep topic in psychology. However, some points are not at all difficult to remember and take into account in everyday life. Below are some features of non-verbal behavior, the ability to interpret which is very important for effective communication.
Gestures and poses
The movements of the body and hands convey a lot of information about a person. In particular, the immediate emotional reactions of the individual and the state of his body are manifested in them. They allow the interlocutor to judge what kind of temperament a person possesses, what kind of reactions he has (strong or weak, inert or mobile, slow or fast). In addition, body movements and various poses reflect many character traits, the degree of a person’s self-confidence, impetuosity or caution, looseness or tightness. The social status of the individual is also manifested in them.
Expressions such as “straighten your shoulders” or “stand on bent” are not just descriptions of poses. They determine the psychological state of the individual. It should also be noted that gestures and posture are non-verbal behavior of a person in which the cultural norms acquired by the individual are manifested. For example, if a man is brought up, he will not talk while sitting, if his interlocutor is a woman and she is standing. This rule applies regardless of how a man evaluates the personal merits of this woman.
The signs that are transmitted by the body are very important at the first meeting, since aspects of the personality of the interlocutor's character do not appear immediately. For example, if you are getting a job, you should sit upright during the interview. This will demonstrate your interest. You should also look into the interlocutor's eyes, but not too persistently.
The following is regarded as an aggressive body position: a person is in tension, he is ready for movement. The body of such a man is slightly forward, as if he is preparing for a throw. This pose seems to signal that aggression is possible on his part.
Gestures play a very important role in communication. Attracting attention, you can invitingly wave your hand. You can make a wave of an irritating gesture, twist your hand at the temple. Applause means gratitude or greeting. One or two clapping hands is a way to get attention. Interestingly, pops were used to attract the attention of the gods in a number of pagan religions (before sacrifice or prayer). Actually, modern applause went precisely from there. The arsenal of values that are transmitted and transmitted by clapping in the palm of your hand is very wide. This is understandable, because this gesture is one of the few that produce sound, and quite loudly.
Facial expressions
Facial expression is a non-verbal behavior of a person, consisting in the use by a person of his face. We are able to isolate and interpret the most subtle movements of the facial muscles. Signed functions have the position or movement of various parts of the face. For example, we raise eyebrows in surprise, fear, anger or greeting. It is known that even Aristotle was engaged in physiognomy.
Facial expressions in animals and primitive people
It should be noted that not only in humans, but also in higher animals, facial expressions are present as non-verbal communicative behavior. The grimaces of anthropoid apes, although they are similar to human ones, often express other meanings. In particular, the grin, which people could take for a smile, expresses a threat among monkeys. The animal raises its gums to demonstrate its fangs. Many mammals (wolves, tigers, dogs, etc.) do the same.
By the way, this sign of threat, apparently, was once peculiar to man. This confirms that the grin of a number of primitive peoples is not only a smile, but also a sign of bitterness or threat. For these peoples, fangs subconsciously still serve as military weapons. By the way, the memory of this meaning of such a grimace has also been preserved in modern culture: there is a phraseology “show teeth”, the meaning of which is “to demonstrate a threat or resistance”.
Signals sent by the eyes
Signals sent by the eyes also apply to facial expressions. It is known that women shoot with eyes, flirting. You can say yes by blinking eyelashes. An open, direct look into the eyes of the interlocutor is considered a sign of a free and strong person. This view has its biological roots. In primitive peoples, as well as in the animal kingdom, it is often a challenge. Gorillas, for example, tolerate people near themselves, however, a person should not look into the leader’s eyes, since the latter will regard this as an encroachment on his leadership in the herd. There are cases when a cameraman was attacked by a male gorilla, as the animal thought that the flashing camera lens was a challenge, a direct look into the eyes. And today in human society such non-verbal behavior is considered bold. It is known that when people are not confident in themselves, when they are timid, they look away.
Tactile communication
It includes patting, touching, etc. The use of such elements of communication indicates status, mutual relations, as well as the degree of friendship between the interlocutors. The relationship between loved ones is expressed in stroking, hugs, kisses. Relations between comrades often involve patting on the shoulder, shaking hands. Teenagers, like cubs of animals, sometimes imitate brawls. So they fight for leadership in a playful way. Similar relationships between teens are expressed in kicks, pokes or grabs.
It should be noted that the signs that convey non-verbal means of communication (touch, posture, facial expressions, etc.) are not as unambiguous as the words we pronounce. Most often they are interpreted taking into account the situation, that is, the conditions in which they are observed.
Clothing as a way of non-verbal communication
In communication between people, several other methods of non-verbal communication are known. For example, these include jewelry and clothing. Suppose if an employee came to work in elegant clothes, we can assume from this sign that today is his birthday or he will have an important meeting. The use of clothing as a means of communication is often practiced in politics. For example, the cap of Luzhkov, the former mayor of Moscow, reported that he is the mayor "from the people", the mayor is a "hard worker".
Thus, nonverbal personality behavior in psychology can be considered in many aspects. This phenomenon is of interest not only for scientists, but also for ordinary people. It is not surprising, because the culture of non-verbal behavior, like the culture of speech, is used in everyday life. The ability to correctly interpret words and gestures is useful to everyone. A deep understanding of the meaning of verbal / non-verbal behavior of people contributes to effective communication.