The problem of egoism has always attracted attention. Such people have never been loved, at best they were subjected to universal condemnation. This problem is relevant today. Few people realize that this is a great complexity, from which the personality itself always suffers, and not just the people around it.
The line of behavior, in which all needs must be immediately satisfied, necessarily requires correction. This is a very difficult but necessary step, otherwise a person will constantly accumulate resentment in himself and create troubles for his relatives. This article reveals the manifestation of selfishness and addresses issues related to this problem.
Definition of a concept
If you look into the explanatory dictionary, you can find that selfishness is most often understood as behavior when a person thinks only of himself and does not care at all about the opinions of loved ones. However, such a view is too narrow and does not allow to fully see all the details preceding the formation of this quality of character. Selfishness does not grow out of spoilage, as many mistakenly believe, its roots are hidden deep in the past. The concept of “egoism” has firmly entered our consciousness precisely because society does not like such people, considers them arrogant and arrogant.
Causes of occurrence
A lot of difficulties in communication gives egoism. What it is and how to get rid of it will be described below. An important question is where to look for the guilty, that is, where he comes from. Of course, the origins of difficulties should be sought in childhood. After all, none of us is born a little demon, does not want to make our parents suffer. Experts are still studying in detail why egoism is terrible and what danger it poses in itself for the development of personality. To begin with, a child who considers himself the center of the earth cannot form an adequate self-esteem. It is either too high or too low for him. And in that and in another case, he will begin to demonstrate to the world his significance, to arrange some situations proving his superiority over others.
The difficulties of interacting with the outside world are much easier to correct in a young child, since his psychological defense reactions are not so developed . To solve the problem in adulthood, you need to visit a psychologist’s office for quite some time. Working with a specialist will help to understand yourself, to understand why egoism is really terrible, to choose adequate correction methods.
Destructive action
A person who is focused on himself twenty-four hours a day cannot truly appreciate the actions of those around him. It often seems to him that in his life he is surrounded only by enemies and there is absolutely no one to rely on. Of course, this cannot be so. It's just that these people forget to take care of their loved ones, leave their relatives, do not remember their friends, part with their loved ones out of pride. Loneliness is the unchanging and only companion of such people. This is what egoism is. What is it, you can feel only having a close relative with a similar problem.
Just imagine for a moment: a selfish person constantly requires attention. He focuses only on his well-being and, as a rule, the pleasures received from the outside world. In childhood, such children torture their parents with their whims; they demand the purchase of expensive toys and the fulfillment of their desires. They are also terrible zealots and owners. Unfortunately, parents are also not always able to correctly assess the situation, especially if the child is single. So a person comes to life who does not know how to solve elementary problems, who is unable to take care of someone other than himself, is constantly dissatisfied and requires something.
Greed
Unwillingness to share is an essential companion of selfish consciousness. It seems to people of a similar character warehouse that if they give part of their property to someone (as a rule, this includes material assets), they will have nothing left. Note that when the soul is poor, all the time it wants to something to fill its void. Very often this translates into a thingism, an intention to buy all the most expensive, without even knowing why it is needed. However, it is not the one who has many who is rich, but the one who knows how to be content with the small.
How to teach a greedy child to share his toys? First of all, immediately abandon the idea of quickly re-educating him. If you zealously insist that he give his favorite car to a neighbor, then do not expect a good result. Do not go too far. Just in some situations, tell your child what to do. For example, gently advise your child to let his crying baby play with his ball. If he refuses, do not insist. Respect his right. As a rule, selfish children are so focused on themselves that it is difficult for them to make friends with someone, they have almost no friends.
Self-doubt
It may seem unbelievable, but that’s why a selfish person looks like a prickly hedgehog because he is extremely dissatisfied with himself in his soul. Perhaps even he suspects his problem and realizes its importance. That's only when the character has already taken shape, it is almost impossible to solve a difficult task alone. It will take time, patience and the help of a specialist.
The concept of egoism often includes permissiveness, behavior that goes beyond society. This should never be allowed. If you as a parent see that it is very difficult for a child to cope with himself, try not to indulge his whims. It is necessary to educate wisely.
A sense of worthlessness and false pride
Oddly enough, but excessive arrogance coexists with an irreconcilable feeling of oneself as complete insignificance. In one instant, a person feels himself to be God, in another moment he is completely depressed and devastated by his own thoughts. It seems to him that he is not worthy in the life of the most necessary, and he should abandon everything.
"Selfishness - what is it?" - the parents are perplexed and in no hurry to limit their child in all kinds of benefits. Moreover, such sacrificial behavior occurs even when the house does not have much money that can be allocated at the whim of the child, and he will continue to demand.
Eternal resentment
A selfish person often gives the impression of a constantly offended, gloomy creature. Everything is wrong for him: the pies are not tasty enough, and the girlfriend-friends forgot at the most difficult moment, and the model of the cell phone is outdated. It seems that everyone around him owes. However, other people are not at all obliged to fulfill the requirements of some spoiled, capricious child who, by the age of twenty, has not yet matured. So there comes a man with a problem in life, blaming everyone and everything. Sometimes he does not even notice that he is suffering. These are the consequences of a syndrome called egoism. The antonym of this word is altruism, caring for other people, but this state still needs to be grown.
How to learn generosity
If a person suffering from selfish consciousness got the idea that he needed to change, then he was ripe for change. You just need to start by acquiring the skill of positive interaction with people, while not demanding anything from them, but giving selflessly. Such an approach will develop a sense of compassion, focus on the needs of loved ones. It is useful even for a while to move away from one's own needs in order to defeat selfishness in oneself. The antonym of this concept - altruism and endless service to people - should now become an inspiring factor for self-improvement.
Thus, it is always possible to defeat unconstructive behavior if there is a huge desire. Of course, the changes will not be visible immediately, but gradually you will be able to overcome your egoism. What is it and what harm does personality development bring, we have already examined. Be happy, take care of your loved ones, do not forget to take care of them! Remember: support in difficult situations is as important as the time you said the word, the joy of success. Learn to share moments of happiness with people - and they will be grateful to you!