Some people do not attach importance to their actions, however, constant optionality makes a person absolutely unreliable in the eyes of others. And especially close people. If you rush into empty promises, without intentions to fulfill them, then soon this behavior will definitely turn against the person. "Optional" is the mildest epithet that will be described by those around him.
What could be the exception?
Of course, psychologists sometimes advise using this method in order to get rid of constant, too intrusive requests. Over time, this result begins to act, and the number of people who want to get the right “for free" is significantly reduced. The only catch is that such optionality is fraught with many more negative aspects than positive ones. About it further.
So, an optional person does not know how to keep this word, what should I do?
What forms the studied quality
First of all, failure to fulfill obligations entails a complete lack of responsibility. Optionality flourishes in a person who does not have a mechanism of responsibility for failure to fulfill his own promises. Such an attitude to promises is not formed as a result of forgetfulness or distraction, but as a result of the belief that this forgetfulness will easily get away with.
What does an optional person mean
First of all, this is disrespectful attitude towards people, unwillingness or inability to think about others. The synonym may be the phrase "irresponsible person." This is egoism, and such people are usually concerned about the realization of only their desires and intentions, but the rest are left behind. And it doesn’t matter if this is a familiar person or a close relative. In this game, selfish personal interests will always prevail. Often we can talk about optionality, as a consequence of impulsivity. This means that a person can easily give in to his mood. He can throw promises right and left and be firmly convinced that it will be so. Only then is this impulsive action replaced by an awareness of the realities of life. This is where optionality appears in man. Also, this quality is used by people as a method of getting rid of indecision. I promised everyone around you and you grow sharply in your own eyes. But this is only at the time of the distribution of promises that we ourselves seem omnipotent and confident. And then what? It all shatters like fluff. All that remains is emptiness and a bunch of promises. This also applies to punctuality.
Negative consequences
Before making empty promises, remember the following disadvantages of optionality:
- A few unfulfilled promises and the trust of your friends and those close to you will decrease. Colleagues will begin to be indignant, friends may turn away altogether, and relatives will hold a grudge.
- In the circle of acquaintances, the opinion is established that you are a frivolous person who cannot be trusted, and even more so, entrusted with an important matter.
- Optionality ruins even the most healthy and strong relationships. After all, where is there without quarrels and negative emotions? Hence the absolute reluctance to continue to maintain contact with such a person.
- In work, this is completely negative behavior. Indeed, optionality and irresponsibility is a good enough reason to refuse to work with you. Lost customers, lack of prospects, decrease in earnings - all this as a result will lead to the fact that the business will begin to fade away, and you definitely won’t wait for an increase in work.
- Unwillingness to keep this promise leads to the fact that a person begins to hide, to avoid those to whom he gave his word. As a result - contemptuous attitude of others.
- And, of course, you can forever forget about your authority.
And this is just a general list, these consequences can lead to more serious, psychological problems. And here punctuality is already the second thing. Changes in consciousness begin, new habits are formed, most often harmful. The longer this gimmick lasts, the more difficult it is to say goodbye to this all in the future.
What is going on in the head?
Over time, internal problems also appear. The studied quality harms not only others, but also the most optional person who likes to throw promises:
- The more often you throw words into the wind, the sooner it will become a habit, and this will already leave its mark on your character. Over time, such a person becomes optional in relation to himself. Cases and decisions are postponed until later, and this “later” never comes. With such thinking it is very difficult to achieve truly meaningful goals.
- Another result is a lack of self-confidence. Over time, a person begins to doubt his abilities and is afraid of the necessary work.
- As a result, despondency, apathy, a sense of inferiority become faithful companions in life.
- Self-respect is reduced to zero.
- Over time, optional people are constantly in a bad mood. All because unfulfilled promises with a heavy burden lie on the heart and constantly remind of oneself.
Think a thousand times, but do you need this?
How to overcome optionality in yourself
It is very difficult to get rid of a habit developed over the years, you will have to be patient and have an incredible desire to do everything that is needed. All determine the forces of inertia and people in this matter is no exception. Fortunately, this law can also be wrapped in favor. But only gradually, stage by stage, you can develop a different attitude to your own promises and become a person who deserves the trust of others.
Psychologists advice
So, where to start:
- Can't say no? It is time to learn. Many people are simply afraid to refuse a request, so that in no case cause negative emotions in relation to themselves in other people. And only left alone with one another, comes the realization that one does not want to do what he has already promised. Here you have to dodge, postpone, avoid meetings and not pick up the phone when it comes to fulfilling obligations. Not the most successful model of behavior. Thus, staying without friends is much easier than just answering “no.”
- Before you promise to fulfill a request, it is better to make sure if you can do it. By refusing immediately, you will make life easier for the one who requested, because you can safely look for other ways to complete the task. A good no is much better than a bad yes.
- The main sign of optionality is the word “later”. If you have promised, immediately decide when the order should be completed. The habit of putting off to good will not bring. The illusions “I’ll do it tomorrow for sure” do not work. Tomorrow never comes. Remember, the best time for action is here and now. Make your life easier, the faster you fulfill the promise, the faster you can get rid of the burden on your shoulders.
- Cut down on the vine all attempts to fulfill someone else's request later. Set aside time in the coming days and just get to work, without any excuses. Believe me, a sense of relief when everything is finished is better than any praise. Thus, you will definitely become the master of your word.
Optionality is a common cause of quarrels and omissions.
What is the outcome?
How many good relationships have been ruined by irresponsibility, and what can we say about a ruined career? Better be patient and develop a new good habit. Hold your word firmly, not only to be a respected person among people, but also, first of all, to respect yourself.