Woe - what is it? We all understand that this is probably the worst thing that can happen to a person. But psychologists believe that grief (as an emotional state) can be different. And people carry it in different ways. About what the word "grief" means, as well as about its types, stages and methods of overcoming, will be described in the article.
Dictionary word
The dictionary gives two meanings of the word "grief".
The first of them denotes the emotional state of a person and is interpreted as a deep, very strong sadness. (The grief of the woman who lost her beloved husband knew no bounds).
The second meaning of “grief” speaks of the source of the indicated emotional state, that is, of the event, the consequence of which it was. (“Woe are you my onions,” said the mother to her son, who was misbehaving too much).
The synonyms of the word are: unhappiness, sorrow, sadness. They help to better understand what “grief” means. In the Slavic languages it came from the Pre-Slavic. So, for example, in Serbo-Croatian it means a mild illness, in Slovenian it means grief, crying. In ancient Indian there is a similar word for heat, flame, flour, grief, sadness.
Let us consider the first value in more detail.
Extended definition
Psychologists call grief an emotional state that has a high intensity. As a rule, it accompanies the loss of a person or an object with which a person has a deep emotional connection. However, this term should not be confused with a state of depression, which is a mood disorder.
Grief is related to basal emotions, being one of them. Basal emotions are characterized as a kind of theoretical construction, uniting the expressions of a minimal set of feelings, on the basis of which a variety of all emotional states and processes is formed.
Such emotions include: joy, grief (sadness), fear, surprise, anger, disgust. It is them that are fixed by the brain during electrical stimulation of its various subcortical zones.
Grief is closely connected with the sensation of the loss of a rather significant object (objective or subjective), as well as the loss of part of one's own identity or the expected future. And grief is understood as a state of deep sadness, sorrow.
Symptoms
Indicators of the normal course of grief have two types - physical and mental.
The former include, for example, such as:
- Difficulty breathing.
- Throat cramps.
- Frequent breathing.
- Strong heartbeat.
Psychological, mental suffering may include:
- Emotional processes having a negative color.
- Absorption in the image of a person who has gone into another world.
- Unshakable guilt.
- Aggressive, hostile reactions.
- The loss of patterns of behavior that are considered natural, distance from others.
The difference between the norm and pathology
In psychiatry, a term such as “pathological grief” is used, which characterizes the syndrome of a group of certain disorders. From pathological normal grief differs in a number of the following parameters:
- The presence of dynamics is in a state, since grief is a process.
- The presence of periodic moments of distraction from the painful sensation of the reality of death.
- The gradual manifestation of positive feelings over the first six months after the death of a loved one.
- The transition from a state of grief, characterized as acute, to integrated.
- The ability of a person who has experienced loss to come to terms with the death of a loved one, “let go” of him. And also the desire to find a new way of “communicating” with him is to keep his image in memory.
Types of assistance
During the grief period, three approaches to assist are proposed. These include:
- Psychological support and support from loved ones.
- Psychological counseling provided by a qualified psychologist.
- Drug treatment and psychotherapy, which are carried out by psychiatrists and psychotherapists.
Sorrow as a process
As mentioned above, the emotional state inherent in mourning is not homogeneous, it is constantly changing and eventually stops or significantly subsides. This process can be conditionally divided into several stages, which are generalized, since in reality each person copes with grief in his own way.
But nevertheless, a number of patterns psychologists distinguish. In addition, the process of experiencing grief is cyclical in nature. This means that it is characterized by many returns to the previous stages, which are painful. The knowledge of the signs characteristic of a particular stage of grief, an understanding of what their psychological meaning consists in, make it possible to provide assistance to a suffering person. The process of experiencing grief is divided into five stages, which we will consider further.
Initial stage - shock, numbness
What does grief mean at this stage? The physical condition of a person who is experiencing loss is noticeably worsening. These are: slowing down reactions, muscle weakness, loss of appetite and sexual desire. What is happening is seen as unreal. This stage lasts an average of seven to nine days. Sometimes a few weeks.
At the same time, a person can do the necessary things, for example, participate in the organization of the funeral process or show indiscriminate activity. But sometimes inaction is also observed, complete detachment. Outwardly, a person may look like indifferent to everything - his feelings are not expressed.
Second Stage - Search
What is grief in the second stage? It manifests itself in the desire to return the deceased, since the irreversibility of loss is denied. The deceased seemed to be often seen in the crowd, one can hear his footsteps in the house. Hope and faith in miracles do not disappear.
The transition from the first stage to the second is gradual. The features of the second can be seen approximately on the fifth to twelfth day after the news of death is received. In some cases, the effects of shock appear for a long time.
The third stage - acute grief
It lasts about six to seven weeks from the date of loss. It is characterized by those physical and psychological symptoms that are indicated above. A series of negative thoughts and feelings are added to a person’s extreme mental pain, which include: a sense of meaninglessness and emptiness, despair, loneliness, anger, anxiety, fear, and helplessness.
All thoughts are directed to the deceased, he is idealized. While others are annoying, I want to step away from them. This stage is critical to the further mourning process. During its passage, there is a gradual estrangement from the image of a person who has gone to another world. After six months, depression appears.
Fourth Stage - Recovery
It lasts approximately one year. What is grief at this stage? During this period, physiological functions and professional activities are restored. As well as a gradual reconciliation with the loss. Experiences begin to take on the character of individual seizures, which are becoming increasingly rare.
Sometimes they are very painful. It would seem that a person has already begun to live an ordinary life, but suddenly, melancholy, sorrow, a sense of the meaninglessness of existence without a dead person returns to him. A symbolic limitation of the period of grief is the anniversary of death. In many cultures, mourning is limited to one year.
Final stage
What is grief in the process of completion? At this time, the so-called emotional farewell to the deceased person occurs. There comes the realization that one does not need to put the pain of loss "at the forefront" of one's whole life.
The main task of psychological work at this stage is to create in memory the image of a departed loved one, thus finding for him a place in the life stream. This will help a person to continue to love those who are close to him, to find a new meaning without rejecting what was connected with the deceased, but leaving him in the past.