Most likely, you have experienced an inexplicable sense of responsibility to someone, as if you owe something to someone - this is a sense of duty. You cannot explain to yourself why it arises, but nevertheless you feel it. Let's try to figure out what it is and why people experience it.
Definition of a concept
A sense of duty is a feeling within ourselves that has been forming in us since birth. This is influenced by the people in whose environment we grow, and how we are educated and what we are taught.
Having appeared, it tells us what we should do, and it does not matter why this is necessary. We get the impression that we just have to.
Of course, quite often people see only what others owe them. They present their demands not only to close people, but to the whole society. In addition, they are fully confident that they are right. However, these are only the details. Each of us owes something to someone and, probably, a person will not have enough life to pay all debts.
A sense of duty and responsibility is well perceived in society, it is cultivated and praised, which is not surprising, because it forces people to do their job. It doesn’t matter if you have a desire for it or not, you should, and therefore it is necessary, so do it. When a sense of duty pushes a person to do something, then questions on his part are absolutely inappropriate.
In addition, few people ask themselves why I owe anything. And in the case when it concerns myself, did I or other people decide?
Human impact
The problem of a sense of duty is that, being in such a state, a person becomes less self-confident, his self-esteem decreases. He begins to feel hopeless. A person asks questions about how important he is and, most likely, does not come to the best conclusions. In this case, other people are more important to the person, and not he.
However, life is short, it is foolish to spend it constantly thinking about its significance and why everything is so and not otherwise. Indeed, if a person proves to himself and the whole world that he is significant, his vitality goes away, and his emotional and physical condition worsens.
Formation of a sense of duty
Why do we have this feeling? For example, a child should go to kindergarten, but perhaps he does not like it, and he does not want it. Therefore, we can say that the education of a sense of duty in a person begins from early childhood.
After the kindergarten, they send him to school, expect good grades from him, record them in various sections, but his parents do it because it is accepted, it is necessary, but does he want it? In most cases, the child’s opinion is not asked at all.
You need to attend school in order to enroll in a good university, to obtain the higher education that is necessary for finding a job with a well-paid job. Different sections are needed for the general development and expansion of horizons, according to parents.
Children start visiting and learning English from early childhood. No one asks if they want this. Parents believe that they should do this. Children listen and follow instructions so as not to upset mom and dad, and therefore learn English.
All of the above are common examples of a sense of duty.
The opinion of psychologists
Psychologists have their own opinion on this matter. They define a sense of duty as a person accepting the responsibilities of others. Many people confuse the feeling of gratitude with the feeling of guilt before someone, so they try to get rid of this feeling with the help of what they do their job.
It often happens that a person has an internal conflict of feeling and duty. Staying in this state and communicating with people around him, a person has an inexplicable feeling, it seems to him that he owes something to them. Most often, the answer to this behavior lies in his childhood.
It is not uncommon for parents to patronize their child very much, completely controlling his actions. They do not give him the right to choose and make all decisions for him. This behavior of parents can lead to the fact that when a child grows up, he will not be able to independently choose what he needs.
After all, when he was little, his parents decided for him absolutely everything. They told him with whom to be friends, where to play, when to eat and how much he could rest. Such hyper-custody leads to the fact that the child is constantly in a state of tension.
He has a fear of making mistakes, doing something wrong, because he will upset his parents who care so much about him. As a result, over time, this will disastrously affect his determination. As an adult, he will constantly seek support, and also avoid making serious decisions, because he is used to the fact that he always did this for him.
As the "debtor" thinks
In the future, a child who grew up in such a family will be afraid to decide something on his own, so it is easier and better for him to do what others say. For example, the same parents.
It will be normal for him to ignore his needs and interests. Instead, he will put others above himself.
Such a person feels a sense of duty to parents, co-workers, teachers, friends and just acquaintances. The opinion of others is beyond doubt for him; he will unquestioningly obey and agree in everything.
Consequently, due to excessive custody, the child develops a strongly bloated sense of duty. The love of parents should not adversely affect the child, therefore, it is necessary to give him the will and the right to choose. This is necessary so that in the future he does not become one who is ready to do anything just to be noticed and praised.
Bust with debt
A hypertrophied sense of duty is what makes a person insecure. He suffers from low self-esteem and considers himself inferior, therefore, in every way pleases others. Such a person completely forgets about himself.
He devotes all his energy to satisfying the desires and needs of others, so he is constantly lacking in vitality.
Such behavior leads not only to a lack of understanding of one’s value and significance, but also to hostility. Man does not love himself.
How to deal with a sense of duty?
In order for this feeling to disappear, you first need to understand who you really are guilty of. For these people you need to ask for forgiveness and just let go of the situation. In particular, it is recommended to do this when the material aspect is absent. When you receive forgiveness, the guilt will pass, and in return you will feel gratitude.
Never forget that you really owe nothing to anyone. No need to adapt to others, try to conform to their ideals in order to earn praise and approval. Only you yourself can reward yourself with this. The same goes for your opinion - do not force it on others.
If you feel a sense of duty to your family, friend or soulmate, then you live the life of this person, forgetting about yours.
The problem of a sense of duty is solved quite simply. First of all, it must be recognized that it really exists. Then realize that only you yourself can improve your life and make it simple and comfortable. It is up to you, do not waste precious time serving others.
It is recommended that the word “debt” be replaced with the word “I want”, in which case it will be easier for you to perceive and also to fulfill what you think is your responsibility.
Things to Always Remember
Only you create yourself and are the creator of your destiny. All your actions, thoughts and feelings affect your life and the pleasure you receive from it.
Never doubt that you are valuable only because you exist. After all, every person is unique and significant. You are already a person, so you do not need to please others in order to feel useful and important. That in itself is so. A sense of duty is not a sentence, it is a wrong mindset that is easy to fix. Pull yourself together and answer only for your life, and do not live a stranger.