If the feeling of happiness may not be familiar to everyone, then everyone knows what guilt is. Guilt is consciously cultivated in us from childhood by our parents and teachers. We are already growing up with the prevailing pattern: "if you know what the fault is, correct the mistake." Whether this is correct, it is useful to feel guilty or not, we learn from this article.
Definition of “guilt” in psychology
Let us turn to the scientific formulations. Psychologists associate guilt with a whole set of emotional states intertwined, first of all, with a feeling of “remorse”. To be more precise, the fault in psychology denotes a person’s experience of feeling dissatisfied with himself or his actions, as well as some resonance between the behavior of the individual and the values accepted in society. Some psychological schools believe that guilt can only be experienced by members of a highly developed society, while people with retarded and intellectually undeveloped individuals are not aware of this feeling .
Who can feel guilty?
Curiously, guilt is manifested in non-verbal communication, even in animals. Remember what a naughty dog looks like? Eyes are slanted, ears are lowered to the head. If the cat stole the sausage, then after the deed he will try to retire, as he understands that his action resonates with the moral and social values of the family where he lives. Consequently, guilt is something that even animals are familiar with, not to mention highly developed and civilized people.
What makes guilt?
According to the research of D. Unger, a doctor of psychology, who studied what guilt is, this feeling of a person consists of such components as repentance and admitting that you are wrong.
Repentance manifests itself in accusations against the perpetrator against himself. “Why did I do this?” - the one who feels guilty asks himself a question. The second component is the admission of being wrong. This factor is expressed in feelings of shame, fear and sadness.
Why do you need guilt?
Why would a person have a feeling that affects so destructively? There is an interesting version suggested by Dr. Weiss that this experience is simply necessary for building relationships between people. Consonant with his theory, guilt is an adaptive quality that has developed in the process of long relationships in society.
Wines are an ambiguous concept. Therefore, there are many interpretations of this experience. The world-famous Dr. Freud and his colleague, working in the same field of psychology, but somewhat later - Dr. Mandler, suggested that guilt and anxiety are the same feelings, called different words. If a person made a mistake or was close to it, he is anxious about the alleged punishment. To get rid of anxiety, a person may try to make amends for his mistake. Some researchers also associate guilt with fear. Fear of punishment is what makes a person repent of a perfect misconduct.
How natural is a person's experience of guilt? Apparently, even if animals and babies can feel remorse, therefore, guilt is not a concept invented. But do people not confuse a sense of personal responsibility with a feeling of guilt?
What is guilt in terms of real life?
Let us return to the childhood of each of us. It doesn’t matter who raised the child, these people benefited from our obedience. As soon as the baby does something unacceptable to the adult, he begins to get angry and express his displeasure. Educators in the person of parents and teachers can be understood. They believe that if you develop guilt in the baby’s mind, the child will grow up to be a responsible, serious and honest person. However, this is a big mistake.
What is the fallacy of artificial guilt cultivation?
In fact, in every person there is what is called an “inner voice,” or “voice of conscience.” When a person, whether he is a respectable citizen or a notorious fraudster, does something wrong, he hears this voice. However, what is considered wrong? Theft, betrayal, betrayal, fraud, deceit - these are dishonorable things. But is it worth blaming yourself if you want to take care of your elderly parents and don’t tell them that you were fired? Is it worth it to feel guilty if you don’t want to communicate more with a person and tell him about it? We are told that for happiness one must follow the expectations of others, and if not, then you are to blame.
The first to achieve this parents. The kid must respond to all their requests and instructions; in case of refusal, punishment occurs. Then, kindergarten teachers and teachers at the school impose certain behaviors at school. You have to study perfectly, be quiet, not raise your voice and not argue. Let's take a sober look at the situation. There are children - born “excellent pupils”, and there are mobile kids, from whom great athletes or dancers will turn out, therefore they have no penchant for sciences. They receive triples, comments, and with this, parents and teachers develop guilt in them. Further more. A teenager becomes a young man, boy or girl, constrained by all these restrictions.
Substitution of guilt for guilt
Today's and modern society is largely composed of irresponsible people. This is not their fault, because it is the merit of the educators. Instead of instilling a sense of responsibility in the kid, he is actively instilled with guilt. What is wine? This is remorse that you do not meet the expectations of others. What is a personal responsibility? This is a sense of understanding that one cannot do the wrong things with others.
A person who does not have a sense of responsibility can do atrocities and commit the wrong things without fear, if he knows that they will not be punished. If a person is fully responsible for everything that he does, then she is aware of all her actions not because of fear of punishment, but because of inner feelings.
The conclusion based on the foregoing can be drawn as follows. Feelings of guilt - invented and imposed on each of us. If you are already an adult, try to get away from this sensation, replacing it with a sense of awareness. If you are a parent and raise a child, do not make the baby feel guilty for not meeting your expectations.