People rarely think about the secrets of productive communication. But knowing some tricks, you can not only become a pleasant conversationalist, but also learn how to manipulate people. How to do it? Pay attention to the feedback that you give in conversations, and which comes back to you. Look for examples of feedback below.
Definition
Want to become a good communicator? Then you need not only to listen to people, but also to understand them correctly. And it will not work out if you do not receive feedback from the person. What it is? This is confirmation from the interlocutor that he understood you. But the confirmation, not given in the form of "yep," "of course I will," but a detailed answer to the question. All sorts of nods and cheers can also be called feedback, but these are more likely examples of ineffective communication.
How can employee feedback look like? An example is this: the boss says that the project needs to be done, and the subordinate, in turn, says that the project will be done tomorrow at 16. In this form, communication can be called effective, the problem posed was quickly resolved and transformed into a clear plan that needs to be completed.
Kinds
The answer to this question can be considered feedback. Conventionally, all the dialogues conducted by people can be divided into two types - evaluative and non-evaluative. Accordingly, the feedback will bear similar names:
- Estimated. In this case, the person expresses his point of view. And it doesn’t matter if the opinion coincides with the opponent or not. In such dialogues, a discussion takes place that affects the work of thought, which means that such conversations remain in the head of the interlocutors for a long time. Here is an example of developing employee feedback: Vasily, do you think Semyon will cope with the task? Semyon is an excellent specialist and is well suited to this position.
- Invaluable. In this case, the opinion of the interlocutor does not need to be clarified. Most often, examples of feedback of this kind can be observed when the seller is talking with the buyer. In this case, the person who offers the product or service, first finds out what the interlocutor needs, and in accordance with this thinks what to offer him.
Examples
How often after the dialogue you have a residue, and you think that you did not understand the interlocutor? If this feeling constantly arises in you, then take into account the feedback. Examples of such dialogues can be found in life every minute. For example, a mother asks her son if he has done his homework, and the boy decides to change the subject without giving feedback in order to avoid the answer. This is a clear example of a person saying something or lying. A person who has nothing to hide will always give a backlash to your words.
Also often feedback techniques can be found at a meeting in any office. After the planning session is over, the leader will distribute tasks to each team member or department, and then wait for a response from the person in charge to make sure that the task is accepted into work.
Feedback Objectives
Have you ever wondered why you give feedback? Just like that, by inertia? No, everything is much more complicated. A person gives another person feedback to adjust their own reactions and behaviors. Depending on your answer, the opponent can behave in different ways. And you, trying to predict his reaction in advance, can either play along with him or take a person out of himself. Often people play such psychological games without even thinking about what has been done and what has been said.
Examples of feedback of such a plan: a guy calls a girl on a date and, of course, the lady understands that the young man wants a positive answer. Nevertheless, the girl can flirt and pull the rubber, saying neither yes nor no. Feedback will eventually be, but it will be too vague. Such situations can speak either of a person’s insecurity in their choice, or of a peculiar game that someone started for their own interest or for their own benefit.
The purpose of getting feedback
Man does not like to live in ignorance. Any person wants life to have certainty. And for this, the interlocutors require feedback from each other. Example: the boss says to the employee that he needs to go to work on the day off. It is clear that the person is dissatisfied, nevertheless, he was warned and he has to give feedback so that the authorities knew and could plan the production, counting on his subordinate. What are the objectives of the feedback:
- Psychological comfort. Feedback gives a person the opportunity to imagine what he thinks and how the interlocutor will behave.
- Possibility of planning. Thanks to the opponent’s response, a person can plan his time and correctly manage it.
- Allows a person to think and act in accordance with the reactions of his opponent.
How to give feedback
Do you want to be respected? Then you just need to learn how to correctly and beautifully give people feedback. If you do not do this, they will consider you an uncivilized person, and they will not listen to your opinion. See below for tips and tricks for proper feedback:
- Never turn to personal insults. Do you want to give negative feedback? Examples of the wrong approach to this issue: “You are always late for work, I will never trust a managerial position to such an irresponsible employee.” The correct reaction: “Employees who are late for work will not be able to quickly climb the career ladder.” Speak generally. A person will notice the gentleness of treatment with him, and be sure to listen to your recommendations.
- Share your conclusions with people less. Remember that all individuals have their own perceptions of reality, and what is attractive to you may seem ugly to some. Therefore, when expressing your opinion, be careful. Share observations and conclusions with opponents that you can draw from them, but do not give the phrase an emotional rating.
- Less hurt the feelings of the interlocutor. Want to become a positive conversationalist? Then talk more about your feelings. Even the bad news can be sweetened a bit if you give positive feedback. Example: "I’m very sorry that you did not receive this position, I hope that next time it will be yours."
- Do not overload a person with information. Feedback should contain as much as you think a person can extract from it. No need to try to say everything and not to forget anything. Focus on the essentials rather than spraying on the secondary.
The role of gestures
Non-verbal communication is of great importance in the life of any person. People speak with gestures, and body language is just as important as regular speech. If you want the interlocutors to treat you positively, then do not try to depict a stone, do not cross your arms when talking, and allow your body to speak. An example of a feedback form in which you agree with an opponent is a nod or a smile. Sometimes such gestures are even more suitable than words. But remember formal and informal communication. Sometimes gestures still need to be reinforced with phrases to notify a person that you understand him perfectly.
If you do not share the opponent’s point of view, you should still use the body for dialogue. Negative shaking of your head, shrugging of shoulders - all this enlivens the speech and smooths out the impression that has developed from your different views of the world.
Why is it needed?
Feedback performs the following functions:
- Helps shape trends.
- Helps to know the public mood.
- Improves understanding of people.
- It makes it possible to formulate your statements depending on the situation.
In the modern world there are a lot of tools that help a person to receive feedback. He can get it not only personally, but also by phone, SMS or email.