The psychologist Marina Komissarova is known for her informative blog articles on LiveJournal and is very popular in the vast Russian Internet segment. Her articles are devoted to the relationship between a man and a woman, self-esteem, psychological complexes and simply the problems of human communication. Also, the main topic of her blog is women's mistakes in relationships and personality crises. Psychologist Marina Komissarova periodically responds to letters from clients who contact her on issues related to their psychological problems and love affection.
Psychologist Marina Komissarova and her family
Since Marina has become quite popular in the Internet environment, as a result, blog readers are interested in her personality. Recall that the topic of building love and marital relations is the main thing that Marina Komissarova (psychologist) touches on in her articles. Her biography is quite saturated. She was born in 1971, lives in Moscow. Marina graduated from the VGIK scenario faculty in 1993. In 1999, she mastered the Faculty of Psychology and received a second higher education. She began to practice in 1997, while simultaneously doing research work.
Marina is married, has two children, is fond of fishing with her husband. The main hobby and occupation in her life is a passion for psychology. She constantly publishes psychological articles that have enjoyed continued success.
Finding photos of the psychologist Marina Komissarova on the Web is not an easy task, but not a hopeless one. Our readers can get to know her personally.
Our beliefs
The psychologist Marina Komissarova, like every experienced specialist, believes that it is our beliefs and attitudes that determine the events that occur in the life of a person. Beliefs are thoughts that we perceived as truth, truth for ourselves. And here there is one important point, scientifically proven: if something is repeated to a person repeatedly, then he begins to perceive it as truth for himself. This becomes the conviction of the individual, which programs his actions and conditions, and, therefore, his whole life. That is, if you repeat many, many times that you are stupid - you will believe. And if you repeat as many times that you are capable, then you will also believe. And your faith will be reflected in your successes.
Famous psychological experiment
In the United States in the 80s of the last century, an experiment was conducted: students were divided into two groups, allegedly as a result of testing. In fact, they were divided simply arbitrarily. One was told that they are capable and will be trained in a group for the gifted. The second said that they have a weak intellect and they will be trained according to the program for the lagging behind. The training program was the same for everyone. As a result, after many years, the successes of graduates from two groups were appreciated. Those who considered themselves gifted really achieved success in their careers and studies. Those in whom the beliefs about their inability were settled showed the same low rates in their subsequent activities. All this had nothing to do with real abilities.
People always act in accordance with their beliefs. And belief is thoughts that have been repeated to us many times and have been accepted by us on faith. Therefore, it is necessary to reprogram them. Negative thoughts will come from time to time because it is a habit. Marina Komissarova, a psychologist with many years of experience, believes that only competent correction of self-esteem helps to form a mature personality.
Low self-esteem as a relationship of loved ones
In childhood, we begin to understand our role and place in life, based on how they are defined by people close to us. It starts still long before the moment of conception. Each of us has a father and mother. Before our birth, they already each have their own opinions about whether they want to have children from each other, what gender, and whether they want at all. Their relationship is filled with love and respect, or hostility and a spirit of competition. All this affects the formation of awareness of your value, because the thoughts of your parents are transformed in relation to you.
If the child is long-awaited, desired, then from the moment of conception he experiences his special value. He feels loved and, having absorbed this condition in childhood, in adulthood he feels quite worthy of approval. A completely different emotional perception is formed in a child who was conceived as a result of violence or "inadvertently." Such children have a high chance of growing up with an unexplained guilt complex. Inexplicable, because they themselves can’t really explain what they were guilty of, but they carry this feeling with a heavy burden throughout their lives. Until they direct their conscious efforts towards liberation from the guilt complex.
Consequences of the complexes
People struggle with this complex in different ways. Some people feel it, and you can see from these people - they seem to feel like intruders in this world, making excuses for every act they make. Such people prefer that they be seen as little as possible and heard by others, their behavior shows that they try not to stand out from the crowd.
But there is another strategy of behavior. Some unconsciously push this sense of inferiority out of their consciousness and suppress it. That is, the sensation itself is there, but just a person puts a block on how to feel at least something, and outwardly this translates into the behavior of a narcissus and an egocentric. Looking at such people, they often say that they do not love anyone but themselves, but the truth is that such people cannot feel at all, and simply focus on satisfying their physical needs. In fact, it is the absence of unconditional love in childhood that is to blame for both manifestations.
Narcissism and its causes
And, by the way, the well-known Greek story about the proud handsome Narcissus perfectly illustrates this behavior strategy. Recall that, according to the generally accepted interpretation of the myth, Narcissus was unusually handsome and could not reciprocate with any person who fell in love with him. But let's ask ourselves the question: why was Narcissus so cold and incapable of loving other people? Here it is worth returning to the scene of his conception. Narcissus was the son of the god of the river Kefisa and the nymph Liriope. God Kefis seized the power of the nymph, that is, in fact, Narcissus was born as a result of violence. Could his mother’s dislike for his father reflect on him? Of course. And then there is nothing surprising that Narcissus could not love other people, he simply did not learn this as a child, did not absorb this lesson with his mother’s milk in the literal sense.
People with so-called very high self-esteem, in fact, suffer from the same as people with low self-esteem, only choose different ways to overcome the internal conflict.
Parental Influence and Programming
It also happens that parents want a boy, and a girl is born. In this case, the small creature feels that it did not meet the expectations of the parents with something, but cannot understand with what exactly. From this sensation follows the assimilation of the child that for some reason he is not good enough. If the parents do not feel love for each other, and most importantly, respect, they begin to eradicate in the child what they do not like about the partner. Constantly convincing him that there is something in him that requires correction or destruction. Parents do this without realizing that in each of us there are innate traits that cannot be eliminated. And the consequence of this behavior is only that, along with the phrase "you are such (such) the same as your father," the child acquires an internal conflict.
Evolution Blog
Psychologist Marina Komissarova has long been one of the most widely read authors on the Psychology Network. The readers' reviews are full of gratitude for the fact that her articles help to understand herself and understand the essence of their problems, explain how to become a self-confident person and overcome uncertainty and notoriety. It all starts with the awareness and understanding of their ineffective patterns of behavior. Difficulties in partnerships, conflicts in communication are the problems that the Evolution blog touches on.
Marina Komissarova (psychologist) gives specific advice and psychotechnics to get rid of complexes and fears. People who visit her LiveJournal page write that her articles help understand issues of building relationships between the sexes, finding the right life path and improving self-esteem. After all, a person begins to fight with himself, not knowing that this fight is obviously losing. And each time inevitably losing in this war, he begins to experience chronic shame. Shame on being yourself.
Marina Komissarova (a psychologist who has repeatedly encountered similar problems in her practice) believes that several of these factors are usually intertwined.
Solution
If it so happened that we did not get enough love in childhood for various reasons, do not despair. Our parents gave us only what they could, and as much as they could. And if in our life there was little love, this does not mean that the situation is irreparable. We ourselves can give ourselves as much of this feeling as we need. Moreover, having learned to love ourselves, we learn to love the whole world and eventually fill up the deficit of love not only our own. We give it to our loved ones in such a volume that they accept themselves and begin to experience a feeling of love for us.