The modern world is a world of ideals and standards. If a person does not fit into the parameters set by society, this creates a mass of complexes and self-doubt in him. This makes it difficult to build communications, move up the career ladder and just enjoy life. But everything will change dramatically if you learn how to love your appearance.
The main theses of psychologist Labkovsky
In the lecture, “How to Love Yourself with Any Appearance,” Labkovsky gave a number of key points. Namely:
- In order to please someone, you must first like yourself. Only internal self-confidence, and not external gloss, has true magnetism.
- Neither make-up, nor beautiful clothes, nor exquisite manners - nothing will work if you do not love yourself. If you are embarrassed and afraid of criticism, all these beauty attributes will look ridiculous.
- Accept yourself unchanged. As you grow your love for yourself, your attractiveness will increase in the eyes of others.
- Do not hold a grudge against those who find you unattractive. You, too, do not consider everyone to be beautiful, right?
- Accept yourself wholeheartedly. You can’t only love your beautiful "parts".
- Clearly state what you want from your appearance. Describe your problem on paper. So it will be much easier for you to start work on self-improvement.
- Accept compliments, and do not deny them. Even if you understand that a person says it simply out of politeness. Rejoice at the pleasant words.
- Praise yourself and your appearance. Do this alone with yourself and in front of others.
Step number 1: do not justify laziness with love
Thinking about how to love your appearance, you should not fall into melancholy and succumb to laziness. Do not make self-love an excuse for inaction. What specifically does not suit you in yourself? Figure, skin, hair condition? If the problem is solved by regular classes in the gym or going to a beauty salon, is it worth leaving it unattended? Do not like what can be fixed.
Step # 2: focus on the virtues
How to love your appearance? Start by identifying your core strengths. Take a close look in the mirror and think about what you like about yourself. Maybe you have beautiful thick hair, a thin waist, or graceful long fingers? This is exactly what you should focus on. Make beautiful hairstyles, emphasize a slender camp with a bright belt, wear jewelry. Focusing on your best features, you will feel confident and completely forget about your shortcomings. Yes, and others will not pay any attention to them, be sure.
Step # 3: create your unique ideal
How to love your appearance? First of all, close glossy magazines and unsubscribe from the glamorous "phony" in social networks. What is fashionable today may become completely irrelevant tomorrow. You can trace this pattern if you look at women who were considered ideal in different eras. Magnificent forms of Marilyn Monroe, a sports figure of Cindy Crawford, the fragile camp of Natalia Vodianova ... Now it’s clear why you should not try to customize yourself to the standards relevant at a particular point in time?
Your unique ideal is you. It is you in your best modification. And if you really need an example to follow, surely among well-known and successful people there is such a person with whom you are very similar.
Step # 4: learn to compliment yourself
You will love yourself with any appearance if you compliment yourself daily. Take time a few times a day to twirl in front of the mirror and praise yourself well. Do this whenever you are going to go out. This will add decisiveness and self-confidence. In addition, by charging yourself with positive energy, you will begin to shine from within. Be sure that others will not disregard this.
Step 5: act like a beauty queen
How to love your body and appearance? Behave as if you have no flaws at all. After all, trying to disguise them, you attract more negative attention to yourself. If you put tons of powder on your face, everyone will guess that under it there are freckles or acne. If you constantly wear hoodies, everyone will suspect that you have problems with your figure.
What to do? Stop hiding your flaws as if it were a crime. Stop "disguising yourself" and feel insecure. Ears sticking out? Gather your hair in a bun and don’t worry about anything. Small stature? Wear ballet flats or comfortable sneakers and walk with a light confident walk. Not slender legs? Do not hide them under trousers and long skirts. It is possible that others will find them attractive.
Step number 6: get a beautiful portfolio
If you are concerned about how to love your body and appearance, follow the example of your idols from social networks. Get a beautiful portfolio, show off photos in front of friends. But be prepared for the fact that amateur shots are not what you need.
Find a professional photographer who knows how to work with light and shadow. It is also important that you do not feel embarrassed in the company of a photographer and can behave yourself liberally. Seeing your professional photos, you will understand that it is no worse than the stars of Instagram. Or maybe they are not so perfect? Maybe their beauty is just Photoshop and filters?
Step number 7: distract from your appearance and become a personality
Becoming a person is the surest way to accept your appearance and love yourself. Beauty standards are very changeable. Today, thin people are in fashion, and tomorrow they are thin. But that which never loses value is an outstanding personality. And in principle, you do not need to do anything special to become unique. After all, every person from birth is unique. No matter how trite it may sound, but you need to be yourself. Stop imitating others or following fashion. This applies to appearance, habits, speaking, hobbies and many other aspects of everyday life. Having accepted and loved your personality, you look at your face and body with completely different eyes.
Step number 8: love your differences
Many people are concerned about how to love their appearance. And wrinkles, and overweight (or excessive thinness), and a large nose, and thin lips, and many other parameters that you perceive as flaws, are actually your hallmarks.
Watch a photo or video of some social events. All on one face, isn't it? Plump lips, graphic eyebrows, expressive cheekbones ... It would seem that all this is beautiful. But that makes people faceless. But can one be called an attractive person if there is nothing remarkable in his appearance? Of course not. So look at your "flaws" differently. Perhaps this is your "trick".
Step 9: Formulate Positive Associations
How to love your appearance? The psychology of man is such that it is common for him to find any associations to everything. But what will they be? It is entirely up to you.
To formulate positive associations, follow these procedures:
- Take a blank sheet of paper and divide it into two columns.
- In one column, write all the words that appear in your head when you think about yourself and your appearance.
- In the second column, try to reformulate the associations, replacing negative words with positive ones. For example, instead of “thick” write “appetizing”, instead of “shorty” - “miniature” and so on.
- Repeat this training daily until positive characteristics begin to arise in your head automatically.
Step number 10: learn to take care of yourself
How do people relate to loved ones? That's right, surround them with care and attention. How to love your appearance and figure? Right, start taking care of yourself. Make it a rule at least a couple of times a month to set aside a day for yourself. It can be a sports hall, swimming pool, hairdresser, beauty salon - all that makes a person beautiful and satisfied. You can afford it more often - do it more often.
This step carries a double meaning. Firstly, any beauty procedures give a person pleasure, help to relax and calm down. Secondly, they have a cumulative effect. That is, the more and more carefully you look after yourself, the more perfect you become.
Step number 11: stop listening to others
What is the reason for your complexes? Have you come to the conclusion that you are unattractive? Or did someone else prompt you to such thoughts? Perhaps the reason for your dissatisfaction with yourself lies in the fact that you attach too much importance to the opinions of others. Therefore, remember these rules and relentlessly follow them:
- Never ask other people to rate your appearance. Sometimes even close people can speak excessively sharply. What can we say about strangers?
- Do not let anyone discuss yourself. Of course, you cannot forbid people to say something behind your back. But if someone is trying to start a discussion of your appearance in your own presence, stop such conversations.
- Limit communication with those who make you feel unattractive. If friends or colleagues regularly make fun of your weight, nose shape, height, or other appearance parameters, feel free to refuse contact with such people or minimize them.