Human life is filled with stress. These are natural processes that determine the rhythm of life, the constant development of society and technology, relationships with people throughout this life. Psychologists often joke: "If you have no problems, check if you have a pulse."
Of course, throughout the time allotted to man, he is forced to adapt. This is easier for some, but for some, difficulties can become an exorbitant burden. Someone can easily repulse the offender, and someone will scroll for a long time in his head what he heard, being upset and driving himself into the dead corner of his own experiences. Is that familiar? Then it’s worth learning how not to take everything to heart, and finally learn how to live happily.
Psychologists about sensitive people
People who take everything to heart are considered psychologically emotionally labile in psychology. This means that they are characterized by a fairly quick change of mood, emotional states can change from the highest degree of joy to deep despair, even within one day. They are more sensitive to irritants - both physical and psychological. The inner world is very rich, developed fantasy and imagination.
In everyday life, these are often good-natured people who always respond to a request for help even to the detriment of their own interests. This is due to the fact that for them the approval of others is very important. The same trait often plays a cruel joke with sensitive people, because in life those who come with good intentions and repay good for good do not always meet.
Vulnerable people become more attached to others, and therefore they experience a break in relations especially bitterly and for a long time.
The reason for the increased sensitivity to changes in life may be the type of temperament. More often it is melancholy, which respond very clearly to all external stimuli. Many of them are creative individuals.
Such an emotional constitution has a beginning in heredity and is the end result of education and living conditions. This means that to be more resistant to life's difficulties is still possible, to know only how. You can learn to stop taking everything to heart by working on yourself.
Emotion management: how does it work?
Perhaps everyone knows the statement that all diseases are from nerves. Any emotional state in a certain way affects the physical well-being of a person. And in order to prevent psychosomatic diseases (body diseases provoked by the psychological state of a person), you need to learn to manage your feelings and emotions. How not to take everything to heart?
A person can control not only the movements of the body, but also the course of thoughts. Therefore, the easiest way to remove the surging negative experience may be to answer the question of whether it will be important in a year. And after 5 years? Thus, a person can figure out how large a given problem is for him.
How to get rid of negative feelings?
If everyday stress has become a part of life, and waking up in the morning, a person mentally prepares himself for the worst, you should seriously think about auto-training. This is the same way of self-hypnosis, self-adjustment, only for the best. On the principle of "I am the most charming and attractive." Only in this case you need to choose your option - "everything is fine", "I am calm", "there is always a way out". Indeed, there is a way out of any situation. It’s just that he’s not always completely satisfied with a person.
Another way to direct and control emotions is relaxation. She will show how not to take problems to heart and stay in good mood. Here everyone can choose the most pleasant way for themselves - meditation, listening to soothing music or sounds, breathing practices or yoga. Or all together. The main thing is regularity. Autotraining and relaxation are excellent alternatives to medical intervention, because they help to cope with the source of the problem - negative thinking, and not only "pacify" the physiological reactions to stress, as sedatives do.
How to respond to the words of others?
So, how not to take words to heart? First of all, you need to learn a few important points that relate to both sides of the dialogue.
- One of the paradoxical advice that psychologists give is the following: "Offended? So do not be offended!" This is not an answer, like "fall on offended balconies" or "you need to relate to everything easier." There is a different meaning here. The fact is that stingy remarks and unjustified criticism are a manifestation of the personality traits of the offending person. He may be poorly educated, be in a bad mood, or try to transfer responsibility for his failures to another. This does not in any way affect the personality of the person who is being offended. Therefore, he should not take this negative on himself. It is necessary to show sympathy for this man and not conceal anger at him.
- It is also worth distinguishing between why these or those words of the interlocutor were said. For example, if the caustic jokes of others appeared in response to a person’s story about a successful purchase, consider whether this is a manifestation of ordinary envy. You certainly should not be offended by this.
- It is important for a sensitive person how he looks in the eyes of others. Therefore, if they try to insult him publicly, he should remind himself that in this situation, not he, but the offender, looks more unprofitable and stupid. It is not worth responding with rudeness to rudeness , but silence is also not recommended. It is necessary to calmly and with dignity note the incorrectness of the opponent’s remarks and not continue the conversation in such a manner and atmosphere.
- No need to wait for approval from all people. Especially unfamiliar. A person who is learning how not to take everything to heart should first of all engage in his own self-esteem. A self-confident person is able to independently evaluate his successes, he can encourage himself and criticize himself. He does not need an outside opinion for this. Even the praise of an outsider must be forgotten more quickly, so as not to be guided by such approval in their actions in the future. Self-development is the path to self-sufficiency.
Living a New Life: Useful Attitudes
The list of tips on how not to take everything to heart should include certain attitudes or habits to act and think in stressful situations:
- Using jokes. A developed sense of humor often allows you to translate an emerging conflict into the plane of a joke. And a man who is able to laugh at himself, discourages any desire to do it to others.
- The ability to distinguish between constructive and non-constructive criticism. The second has already been mentioned above, and the first should be taken as an opportunity for one’s own growth and development goal.
- Before learning how not to take anything to heart, a person must analyze his own patterns of behavior. It happens that being offended is a way to attract attention, cause a feeling of guilt in another, manipulation. In this case, it is worth getting rid of the root cause - feelings of inferiority, which provokes resentment.
- Find an outlet for yourself (a place, a favorite pastime) that will help to cope with negative emotions.
In conclusion
Each person is unique. And you should not try to adapt this uniqueness to a generally accepted framework. It is much more important to learn how to use your strengths and work on weaknesses.
If a person is sensitive, this does not mean that he should become more pragmatic. He should use this quality where others cannot, for example in creativity. And to work - on confidence and the ability to stand up for oneself. It is in this case that a person will be able to find the long-awaited harmony with himself.