Sooner or later, every person at least once in a lifetime will encounter such a feeling as jealousy. Jealousy affects a large number of people. What is the nature of this feeling? Is jealousy a sign of love? Or is it a symbol of human egoism? In any case, this problem is enormous. Almost every women's magazine published at least one jealousy test. Glossy publications are full of articles about this feeling. Jealousy, quotes about which can be found in almost any book, has become a part of human life. What will this feeling lead us to ? And is the statement “jealousy is a sign of love” true? Let's understand the nature of this feeling.
Jealousy - what is it?
Jealousy itself is destructive. Its basis is dissatisfaction, self-doubt, distrust or a desire to take revenge on another person. The attitude of a man toward a woman is often accompanied by similar emotions. What is this talking about? That jealousy is a sign of a man’s love or a sign of his self-doubt? In most cases, any manifestation of this feeling is an explosive cocktail of several emotions. The jealousy of a husband, wife, children or girlfriend, intertwined with other negative feelings: resentment, anger, longing, loneliness - pushes a person to commit acts that often have unpleasant consequences. Therefore, it is necessary to find the strength to curb it.
Is jealousy a sign of love?
Many believe that this feeling is one of many manifestations of love. But is it? Of course, we will be jealous only of those people who mean a lot to us. However, if a person experiences such a feeling, then this does not mean that he loves. Therefore, jealousy has some other sources than love. The simplest jealousy test will help you realize what caused this feeling. After you notice at least a small fraction of jealousy in yourself, conduct an introspection and try to understand what its origins are. Next, we give several possible options.
Fear of Treason
The attitude of a man towards a woman is very often accompanied by jealousy. This feeling is extremely closely connected with the concept of treason. Jealousy in its simplest form is the fear that a loved one can betray. Or this is the feeling that appears when a jealous girl finds out about committing treason. When a person shows this feeling, he pursues the desire to protect himself from the betrayal of his partner. However, very often the opposite happens.
Projection of complexes on another person
In most cases, a sense of jealousy is insecurity in oneself and in one's worthiness. It can manifest itself both in fear of failure, and in jealousy. Relationships with another person often serve as a way to support one's self-esteem. That is why they are so significant.
Sense of ownership
Jealousy can result from the desire to possess a person, as well as to keep everything under control. Quotes of great people often mention this. Again, the source of such behavior is most likely to be internal complexes, discomfort and self-doubt.
Unjustified expectations
A feeling of jealousy can arise even when we assign certain expectations to a person, but he does not justify them. In most cases, such expectations are associated with trust.
Control of another's fate
With the help of power over another person, we are trying to create stable living conditions for ourselves. By controlling other people's actions, we can prevent changes in relationships, and this is how we maintain the stability of our own lives. However, this is only an illusion, since total control is simply impossible. As a result, distrust and a feeling of jealousy appear.
As you can see, jealousy is the deepest experience of man. However, this feeling may also be different. A child can be jealous of parents and vice versa. You can experience this feeling in relation to a friend or to a loved one. How to classify it and what are its sources?
Sibling rivalry
In fact, jealousy is trying to find a secluded place in your life in early childhood, that is, when you are not yet able to defend yourself properly from it. She quietly approaches you from behind and whispers in her ear: “Look! Your mother treated the neighbor girl with candy! But she could give it to you. Mom doesn't love you. She loves that girl more than you! ” At first you just try not to pay attention to her whisper, but jealousy is a persistent lady. She will remind you of herself over and over again. When dad will pick up another child, when he will praise the successes of his older sister, when parents will advise them to take an example from their younger brother. Then you really get scared. What if they really don't like you? Why don’t you get the attention of your parents? After all, they said that you will be loved by them in any case. Then jealousy will triumph.
Everyone has this feeling in their own way. Someone immediately comes up and pulls the braid of the very neighborly girl that your parents carelessly caressed. And someone will hold a grudge for life and will regularly remind the aged mom and dad about what they have done.
Friendly jealousy
And life goes on. You grow up, go to school, graduate, work. And your constant friend - jealousy - does not leave you for even a minute. You will make new acquaintances, join the company, communicate with colleagues at work. And she, in turn, will quietly strengthen her position.
Do you have a best friend or boyfriend? Excellent! It couldn't have been better! For jealousy, this is an uncowed field. And you already hear her whisper: “Look! She hasn’t called you the second day already. Surely she is busy with those with whom she is interested in talking. “Would you like to call and say everything that you think about this traitor?” Needless to say, as soon as you begin to succumb to such impulses, all your friendship will crumble brick by brick.
How does this jealousy manifest itself? When you go to a cafe with a girlfriend, you are ready to discuss only the two of you. People who call her on her cell phone literally cause you physical pain. You become furious if a friend does not answer your call or, even worse, refuses to walk together.
Love and jealousy
Perhaps a loved one is the tidbit for jealousy. Indeed, there is where to fame for a walk. You have not yet had time to fully enjoy the candy-bouquet period of your first love, to feel the whole emotional palette of first love, and she has long matured an action plan. Hurry up, you still have a lot to do!
To get started, read all of his SMS messages and correspondence on social networks. Check his notebook for female names. Do not forget to hack email! Interview all the acquaintances and friends: who knows, maybe they already saw him by the handle with a new passion. It is extremely important to control every call, as well as the schedule of movement around the city. Do not forget to immediately throw a scandal, if he lingers somewhere at least for ten minutes. After this scandal, he should delete all numbers marked with female names: this includes former girls, classmates, and work colleagues. Of women, you allow only yourself and his relatives, and then the closest.
Jealousy
If you succeeded in controlling yourself and not destroying at least one romantic relationship, creating a family, then the next danger that lies in wait for you is the birth of a child. Can you imagine? You raise your baby, give him all the love that you are capable of, and all of yourself at the same time. But here he is growing, he suddenly has new friends, hobbies, hobbies and interests. Your influence on the child every day is becoming less and less. Now he loves not only mom and dad. New objects for adoration appear on its horizon. What will be expressed your resentment and confusion? In the worst case, you will become intrusive to patronize your child. And when the child grows up, he will categorically declare that you broke his life.
Ask yourself: do you need such a finale? Then tell this feeling an unshakable “no” and slam the door in his face. Forget the old saying that if a person is jealous, then he loves. Not true. If he is jealous - he does not trust, doubts, craves attention, but does not love.