For stable, long-lasting and reliable family relationships, it is important that partners have a compatible temperament. As a result of numerous studies, scientists have found that the compatibility of choleric and phlegmatic in marriage is the best of all other combinations of temperaments. Such a pair has many opposite features that complement each other. Partners who have opposite properties of the nervous system create the most successful friendships and marriage.
In the article, we consider the compatibility of choleric and phlegmatic people, what properties of the central nervous system contribute to the cohesion of two opposites, how they complement each other, why their relationship develops favorably in comparison with the same types of temperament.
What is temperament
Before you consider the compatibility of choleric and phlegmatic, you need to understand the concepts. It is worth learning what temperament is, its nature and basic characteristics.
Since the time of Hippocrates, the division of people into varieties of temperament has been known. All at birth have different types of nervous system, characterized by the strength and mobility of the processes of excitation and inhibition. This is determined by the endurance of the cells, and therefore the human psyche itself.
Scientific evidence
The patterns of these processes were discovered by I.P. Pavlov during his study of conditioned reflexes. The researcher discovered the relationship between the rate of formation of conditioned reflexes and the excitability of the central nervous system. So, if excitation prevailed, then the process of formation of conditioned reflexes went much faster, and the relationship lasted longer. In the opposite case, they formed slowly and subsided over a short period of time.
Thanks to these studies, the types of temperaments found scientific confirmation. It became clear that these are innate personality traits that should not be confused with the concept of character. If parents and teachers in educational institutions can work on character formation, temperament is given to man by nature. It belongs to the biological characteristics of man. The power of the processes of excitation and inhibition cannot be changed through education.
The type, temperament depends on the speed, intensity and orientation of the human mental activity. Some are anxious, others are more emotional. There are impulsive personalities and very impressionable people.
Type separation
The conclusion about the compatibility of choleric and phlegmatic can be made already from the list of basic characteristics of each type of temperament.
In total, 4 types of processes of excitation and inhibition, that is, temperament:
- Choleric - the excitability of the nervous system is already off scale. Such people are nervous, active, impulsive and aggressive. They are distinguished by restraint and loudness, sharp transitions from anger to laughter, they do not like to wait and are intolerant of the slowness of others. They are easy to recognize by quick speech, active emotional facial expressions, sharp movements. This is the most excitable type.
- Sanguine - more calm compared to the first type, it has rapid excitability, but also can quickly and quickly stop. Differs in activity, cheerfulness. However, in the absence of occupation, it becomes passive and lethargic. This type of people is not too sad over trifles, quickly changing both hobbies and type of activity. He is loved in the team, he is lucky in family relationships.
- Phlegmatic - has inertness and poise. People with this type of temperament are quiet, peaceful, resistant to irritants, however, persistent, patient and efficient. Despite their slowness, they bring the matter to an end; they can always be relied on in difficult situations. They are reliable both in friendship and in marriage.
- Melancholy is the weakest type of NS. People with such excitability are prone to anxiety and self-doubt. They are touchy and passive, fearful and very emotional. Their speech is quiet, and their movements are slow. This type is uninitiated and inert. He does not know how to adapt to the conditions of life, however, he has a highly developed associative thinking. He often lives in his inner world.
Choleric and Phlegmatic Compatibility
Such a couple in marriage is most prosperous due to the balance of one of the partners. Despite the fact that choleric woman or man, their temper and excitability are perfectly compensated by the patience and peacefulness of the second spouse in a pair. The love compatibility of phlegmatic and choleric favorably affects the relationship in the family.
As everyone knows, opposites attract. So in such a pair, family or love relationships can become strong and long-lasting. According to statistics, such partners show love and mutual attraction in a relationship, quite rarely there are complete breaks and quarrels. The life of a phlegmatic person is brightened up by the brightness and activity of a choleric. The activity of one does not miss the other. But in the marriage of choleric and phlegmatic, there are also many disagreements that must be managed. One and the other partner must be ready for this in order to maintain family or friendships.
Marriages of two choleric
If you take a couple with the same type of temperament, for example, two choleric, then the family will have constant cries, disputes, sometimes reaching physical reprisals. None of the partners is able to give in to the other; everyone wants primacy and leadership in the family. Unwillingness to give up on controversial issues exacerbates the situation, conflicts erupt more and more.
If the love of choleric and phlegmatic people is more or less stable, then a couple of two choleric can be called an "explosive mixture." Explosions of emotions in terms of power just roll over, turning into beating dishes and assault. But even in such relationships, a compromise can be found. For stability and well-being in the family, psychologists recommend differentiating responsibilities and not engage in one activity. This will not cause competition, envy of the success of another partner, which can be seen in many pairs of Hollywood actors. Most successful people are explosive, and the success of one partner in a pair causes the negative of another, unable to restrain emotions.
For peace in the family, it is recommended that partners take a break in a relationship, for example, relax separately for a while. Also, you often need to give rest from two choleric to relatives and children, leaving for the resort together. Not only they suffer from the temperament of the spouses, but also those living with them under one roof.
The marriage of two phlegmatic people
A couple of phlegmatic people, according to statistics, are very stable in relationships, but you will not find bright passion in them. Each of them does his own thing. They are laconic and therefore conflicts between them rarely occur. However, if they do not agree on any issue, then the quarrel may drag on for a long period. Such partners rarely come to an agreement; they can hold a grudge for a long time, even parting on the basis of differences. In this case, even joint children do not hold them.
However, let us return to compatibility in the marriage of choleric and phlegmatic. Let's see what “pitfalls” interfere with the well-being in the family of such partners.
Keeping Relationships Together
Patience even among phlegmatic people sooner or later ends. Choleric should not forget this. If the topic of the dispute is fundamental for a balanced and tolerant person in everything else, then it is better for a stormy choleric to give up and not insist, since he can stumble upon a solid wall of obstinacy. Reluctance to yield will only lead to a protracted conflict.
Knowing the nature of your partner and his temperament, be more tolerant of the slow phlegmatic, do not blame him for his slowness. After all, he is not able to perform work at the same pace as high-speed choleric. He will surely cope with it and bring what he has begun to a successful end without your attempts to speed up the process.
Recommendations for phlegmatic
The friendship of phlegmatic and choleric people will be strong and reliable if both partners treat each other with respect. Not only choleric should give in and restrain emotions. On the part of the phlegmatic partner, there should also be an understanding of the partner's exuberant disposition, whether it be a spouse or just a friend. There is no need to constantly restrain pressure and slow down all choleric initiatives. In most cases, he simply will not hear you. This can provoke a quarrel.
Do not try to stop the initiative friend, let him act at his discretion. Do not forget that choleric people love praise and are constantly waiting for approval of their actions. If disagreements arise in the family or among friends, then psychologists in such a situation advise phlegmatic people to wait for the right moment for a serious conversation. Observation is important here. When a choleric dies in activity and is at rest, you can talk with him about a sore topic for you. You need to act without screaming and emotions, calmly explain what exactly does not suit you.
Conclusion
In the relations of a married couple, a woman most often makes concessions, therefore, if a man is choleric, the phlegmatic wife will make him an excellent party. But in cases where a woman is choleric and a man is phlegmatic, compatibility depends on both partners.
The stormy half of the couple should try to restrain their emotions. With understanding, the spouse must perceive the nature of the wife. Only together, working on the well-being of the family, can happiness be gained. Respect each other and know that the type of temperament cannot be changed.