Reproaches and insults, humiliation and anger, irritation and anger - these destructive emotions are present in conflict situations. The result of the confrontation depends on the behavior during the clash of opinions and on the actions of both sides - slander, insults, dissolution of hands, neglect, anger.
About the reasons for the disagreement
The dispute is a destructive conflict. Constructive dialogue can only occur during normal social interaction. The motive for the confrontation can be a variety of motives and reasons:
- economic;
- valuable;
- national-ethnic;
- political;
- religious;
- personal;
- others.
One of their parties experiences unfair actions - this is an object. The other side - the subject - performs acts that cause a conflict situation. Typically, the cause of the confrontation is the subject who performs various actions in relation to the “suffering” party, which responds with an inadequate response.
Types and differences of conflicts
Psychologists distinguish between two types of disputes:
- constructive;
- destructive conflict.
With a constructive approach, there is sure to be a way out of a situation that will satisfy both sides. Thanks to the creative approach to solving the problem, mutual understanding and personal relations between people are improved.
Destructive is a conflict that does not lead to the solution of the original problem. The inability and unwillingness to listen to the opponent, analyze his arguments, the attitude toward confrontation - all this leads to the destruction of relations.
A characteristic feature of post-Soviet culture is the habit of "dumping" their dissatisfaction with the immediate environment. The emergence of a “conflict chain” can begin in the morning in transport or on the street, continue at work and end at home in the family. Petty nitpicking, shouting and accusations lead to a corresponding reaction: loved ones feel miserable, nervous. One painful situation flows into another, emotions “explode” like a volcano, a breakup is inevitable ... But all that was needed was to step aside from the negative and not drag “trash” with you.
Why conflicts are sometimes useful
The emergence of controversial situations in any team, in the family or at work reveals contradictions and discrepancies between external, pronounced factors, and non-verbal, hidden information. Here are a few cases where this can happen:
- the education or life experience of the team leader is lower than the performance of employees;
- the intellectual level of the group varies significantly;
- ignorance of business communication methods;
- installation on personal opposition;
- desire for power communication methods;
- mismatch of goals.
Destructive processes do not bring joy, but sometimes they are useful: in a conflict situation, internal contradictions in the team come to the surface, hidden discord and discontent. If you apply the methods of business communication, any conflict-destroying conflict can be translated into a constructive conversation. A destructive dispute is a struggle for power, it is anger, loss of face, tension, lack of solutions to a problem.
About constructive conflicts
The usefulness of this confrontation is that the positions of opponents are clarified in the process of discussion, rather than struggle and opposition. People are more aware of their own arguments when they explain to their partners. There are no screams, reproaches and mutual humiliation. The main part of the attention of the participants in the confrontation is aimed at finding ways to solve the problem, and not at suppressing the identity of the opponent. Elimination of the causes of the conflict between the parties to the clash of opinions establish normal relations, their positions in relation to each other are changing.
The causes of conflict between women and men are completely different. It is important for women to meet personal needs, such as salaries, benefits, bonuses, and vacations. In a team with an oppressive atmosphere or at high workloads, the fairer sex “explodes” first, but calms down faster and easier.
For the male half, the status of authority, the conformity of labor duties and rights, the presence of a certain form of subordination matters. In case of overload and infringement of rights, men accumulate discontent in themselves longer without splashing it in the team.
How to make business relationships constructive
Applying certain rules and methods of business communication, team members will interact as a single organism. The clash of opinions and such a conflict as destructive will be a thing of the past - this is the “tank” method, a method of war that brings devastation to minds, families and business. In order to find a productive solution peacefully, both parties must act as follows:
- discuss only this problem, and not individual personality traits;
- remember that partners are not enemies to each other;
- restrain from manifestations of anger, rampant anger, desire to take revenge or punish;
- forceful methods of struggle can only do much harm;
- defending your own point of view, it is important to consider the interests of the opponent;
- interaction should be friendly and open;
- rivals need to tune in to understanding and interaction.
Strictly observing these rules and adhering to the framework of business communication, you can always find a way out of the situation. If one of the participants in the confrontation makes a gross violation, the whole process can get out of control and turn into a destructive one. This will not benefit either side, and the contradictions can only intensify.