🚵🏻 🍹 ⛪️ How to let go of the situation: practical recommendations and advice of a psychologist 🌹 😩 🏼

What prevents a person from living in the present and enjoying life? Looping on some situation that happened in the past. Why does someone scrupulously go forward without looking at all the difficulties, betrayals, obstacles, pain that are associated with some life problems, while others carefully cling to the negative, even the one that should have been left in the past has not wanting to let go of the situation?

The past can and should be let go if your true desire is to live happily in the world

Let’s try to figure out how can you release the past? Perhaps someone will want to object and say that you cannot let go of the past, in which there was so much joy and happiness: this is too valuable a gain. Here is the answer: the article is intended for those who cannot understand how to let go of the negative experience of the past: problems, conflicts, misunderstandings.

How to manage to let go of past grievances? A few recommendations for those who really want to be happy

Try to answer your own question: “What situation are you hung up on?” Take it apart. For example, because of your arrogance and pride, you broke off your relationship with someone you love.
Try to note what exactly will not let you let go of the situation? Perhaps this is understatement if you have not put an end to the relationship. Hidden anger or resentment. It doesn’t matter if you broke up with the person a year ago or only yesterday - if you think about it and it does not give you peace, then this is important today. That is, you live the events of the past.
What can be done right now in order to let go of the situation and start living happily? Think about whether you have the opportunity in any way to contact a person, send him a letter, call, meet and say something important? Any chance must be used! Do what is important to you right now, without delay.
Is it possible to let go of the situation if this requires your direct and quick intervention in the process? The point here is that, for example, once you couldn’t do what you needed to do, for whatever reason: you couldn’t, you didn’t want, you were scared, you didn’t dare. You can only let go of this situation if you complete what you did not.

Step 1. Take a break!

How to let go of the situation? First of all, stop thinking about her at least temporarily. The longer you “change your mind” about the problem, remember the details of the conflict, the more you will be sucked into the swamp of anger and pity for yourself and others. This can only aggravate the matter, but does not correct the situation. After all, if we need to let go of the situation, what do we do: we go directly to the offender and give him the change, which, in turn, exacerbates the consequences. Then, with a fresh mind, we understand what we have done, regret our deeds, and dream of inventing a time machine and turning back the clock. That's just, unfortunately, this is not possible.

Therefore, in order to let go of the situation in relations with a man, mother, girlfriend, colleagues and other people, and then still not regret its aggravation in a fit of rage, take your mind off the problem.

You should find an activity that can distract you for a while. How to let go of the situation? Deal with the accumulated work or study, do household chores, watch an interesting film, take a walk along the street and breathe in fresh air, clearing your thoughts. In the end, you can even do Internet surfing, which knows how to own attention. Chat with someone who does not know what happened and will be able to cheer up and laugh.

How to learn to let go of the situation? Stop focusing on negative emotions and forget the unpleasant episode at least temporarily.

Step 2. Review the situation

After you have at least a little abstracted from the problem, mentally play it in your head. Remember that the more details you remember, the better. But when doing this, be not a participant in the situation, but its outside observer. Mark the emotions that arose during the conflict, the words you uttered, the movements you made. Try to understand what your interlocutor was moving in responding to your actions. Maybe he now has problems with his personal life, with his career, with his parents, and you became the trigger for the release of the negative? Or are there any other important reasons for his reactions? The interlocutor is also a person, he, just like you, is tired, may experience anxiety or pain.

How to let go of a situation in a relationship? Try to imagine yourself in the place of your opponent. Perhaps it is just as difficult for him now, and he also would like this situation to not happen at all.

Step 3. Ask for forgiveness

How to let go of the situation? Psychology advises asking your opponent for forgiveness. When the level of negativity in relation to it drops noticeably, imagine it as brightly as if it is now standing in front of you. Ask him for forgiveness.

It makes no difference who was to blame for the conflict - he or you. Just mentally apologize to him, ask for forgiveness for the situation, tell him that you also forgive him, that you are not angry and do not hold resentment, and that everything is fine.

This method, no matter how stupid it may seem at first, really helps to restore relations after a conflict, as well as come to an understanding and get rid of discomfort. After all, they are familiar to you: anger, resentment, irritation, pain. You should sincerely ask for forgiveness from the offender and forgive him.

If you have any difficulties, then try again later. And the next day too. Until you have a feeling of freedom and lightness! Believe me, this is an amazing, pleasant and comfortable state.

Exercise “Letter without addressee”

If it’s hard for you to imagine, try to express your thoughts and emotions in a letter. Psychological practice has the technique of therapeutic writing. It helps a person to understand himself, as well as write on paper everything that haunts him.

What are the objectives of this technique? To get from the inside everything that prevents the patient from living does not allow him to feel joy and be happy. The essence of technology is that a person independently works with his subconscious. Its advantage is that it is quite simple in execution and makes it possible to fully vent out emotions without offending anyone.

Take a piece of paper writing supplies and start writing a letter to a specific person. Write what you would like to tell him. It doesn’t matter whether it’s good or bad, write as is, not hiding anything and not hiding anything. There is no need to send such a letter, therefore, having finished work on it, you can tear it up, throw it out or even burn it, hiding your thoughts from prying eyes.

Step 4. Smile

It is time for the most enjoyable!

Smile! And not tense, but in such a way as to feel a smile with every cell of your body. Imagine, and then feel how warmth, joy and tranquility spread throughout the body. How it becomes joyful, easy and pleasant for you. Feel how all the troubles, troubles and resentments have faded into the background, making room for a limitless feeling of love, so joyful, beautiful and bright that you no longer need to smile with an effort of will, since a smile blooms on your lips without your participation.

Stay in this state for at least a couple of minutes, enjoy the light and warmth that has enveloped you. Forget about all the problems even for this period of time and just live it - here and now.

Well, do you already feel better?

Step 5. Open your mind

If you were sitting, stand up. Walk around the room, stretch your muscles. Stretch out with pleasure. Feel free from negative emotions? This is what it means to let go of the situation. Gaining freedom, calmness and inspiration for new achievements is worth forgetting about the problem, especially if it is no longer possible to fix it.