Do not know how to refuse people and it prevents you from living? Do you consider yourself a weak person and scold every time for agreeing to help your colleague again? Do not reproach yourself, you are a kind person. But if you do not learn to say no, others will use you. How to say no, read below.
Explain the reason
Not sure how to say no? Explain the reason. Do not make excuses, just tell us why you can’t do what you are asked to do. For example, a colleague once again wants you to view and correct his reports. But for this you need to linger. You do not have the slightest desire to sit longer than the set time. Do not be ashamed of this. Say that if you have time tomorrow, then you will look at his papers, and today the working day is over and you want to go home.
Do not lie. People always feel when they are told a lie. Friends asked you to help do a spring cleaning at the cottage. Yes, you work in a cleaning company and know how to clean. But today is your day off. So tell your friends that you are tired and plan to do your home and rest.
Suggest an alternative
How to say no and not offend anyone? Suggest an alternative. Your best friend asks you to help with the relocation on Tuesday night. But on Wednesday, you have an important conference to prepare for. Invite a friend to wait until the weekend. On Saturday, you can spend all day transporting things and helping them unpack. This option does not sound offensive. Especially if you tell me how important the report is for which you will prepare. If the friend is not urgent, he will agree to your terms. Well, if he just needs to carry all his belongings, then he can hire movers. There are no hopeless situations.
Don't be afraid to offend
Do you think that the light has wedged on you? No, it is not. If you refuse a person, he will be able to survive it. You will not say no for no reason. So your conscience must be clear. If a neighbor asks you to shelter his cat for the weekend, how do you say no? You can honestly explain that you are afraid that an animal in an unfamiliar environment might mark your favorite carpet or ruin the repairs you completed last week. You can offer an alternative: to go to the neighbor and feed the cat at his house. After such an offer, do you see doubts in the eyes of the opponent? But if a neighbor does not trust you with the keys, then should you feel uncomfortable for not being able to take the cat? Of course not.
First of all, you need to defend your interests. Yes, that sounds very selfish, but life is yours. There is no point in helping everyone and everyone and being afraid to offend someone.
Always say yes"
Did you watch the movie of the same name? He is very good. True, there the main character constantly said no. And he was prescribed to say yes. His life has changed dramatically. How to say no to people correctly? To understand this, try to answer “yes” to all offers within three days. Does this seem silly and thoughtless? But isn’t that the way you do it when you cannot have the courage to refuse a person? Saying yes to everything, you’ll understand how stupid it is, and then it will be easier for you to say no. The original method is the most effective. You will be able to understand what is really important to you and what is secondary.
Do not apologize
How to say no? The walkthrough is as follows. You receive an offer. You should evaluate it, and if it does not suit you for some criteria, you should abandon it. And at this point, the tongue may not listen to the mind and agree. How to deal with it? If the person who is standing in front of you is attractive to you, it will be more difficult for him to refuse. You can say no, and then start apologizing. Thus, you lose your pride in the eyes of the interlocutor. If you can’t do something, why apologize? You will not sing praises for yourself for a long time if you agree to help a person.
It's hard to say no to a loved one. Our relatives wish us well. But sometimes they just parasitize on kindness. Your mother can call you on your only day off when you want to lie in the bath and relax and say that she urgently needs you to come and entertain her. Learn to value yourself and not apologize for the fact that you just want to relax from the hustle and bustle.
Set aside the decision
If the above tips on how to say “no” to people are not suitable for you, try the following method. Do not answer the person. Well, more precisely, say that you cannot make decisions right now, but you will definitely think about it. For example, a friend asked you to dig a garden on Saturday. Well, who can accept this proposal? Moreover, this is not a best friend. Say you don’t know your plans for Saturday and report your decision later. The second time a person will not dare to offer you. After all, you said that you would think, which means that you have found more important things. And so you can do with everything that is unpleasant to you. No need to refuse. Believe me, most of these tasks will never touch you again. Somehow they will be solved by themselves, without requiring your direct intervention.
Be kind
How to say no and refuse? A person always feels more pleasant when he does not offend his interlocutor. Therefore, you should always thank the offer first. After all, it was addressed to you, and not to someone else. This should amuse your pride. So say: "Thank you very much for the offer, but I have to refuse you." This is a polite form. Anything can be put on it, and it will sound more pleasant. And most importantly, you will feel good, and your conscience will not whine that you cannot help. If you decide to refuse, do not turn off the chosen path, even if your interlocutor insists. Be hard. But do not raise your voices and do not scream. Too ridiculous is the person who got excited and, ceasing to control his emotions, begins to yell: "Well, I told you no, why is it incomprehensible?" Be restrained and smile. This will sweeten the failure pill.
Impossible to please everyone
How to refuse correctly, how to say no, we described above, and now we will analyze why we need to learn how to do it. Man cannot be good for everyone. Helping one, you take time from others. If you help a friend, you do not spend time with your parents, and if you have lunch with your mother, a girl who also pretends for your free time is offended. Therefore, you have to choose. And priority should always be your own opinion. If your mother considers you a bad son, and you visit her three times a week and call her daily to inquire about her health, then most likely she is mistaken. She just did not meet bad sons. But you cannot live with her. You should have some free time. Therefore, try to find a lesson for mom and not suffer during a refusal to spend all her weekends with her. Try to keep a balance. Draw a circle and divide it into sectors: home / friends / family / work / love. And think about whether you devote enough time to each sector? If not, make a difference. You need to be able to keep a balance.
Don't be a rag
If you help relatives, friends and colleagues all the time, then most likely they are used to it and take your revenue for granted. In the people it is called "sat on the neck." It is difficult to get out of this vicious circle. Try to refuse once and listen to the mountain of indignation. And you are not to blame for anything, just people are used to riding you, and when the horse is stubborn, it needs to be whipped harder or given sugar. Be careful: both are equally dangerous. If you can’t help a colleague on the weekend to stick wallpaper, say so. And if he will hint that friends don’t act like that, say that you have other friends who need your company no less than he does. And they don’t need anything from you. It may be that your classmate decides to celebrate his birthday at your dacha. You do not want this, but he insists. And as a sugar, it promises you that a girl will come that you will definitely like. And you do not know what to do. Think about whether a casual acquaintance is worth broken dishes, broken furniture, and the mess that will surely happen after the party. Say no. A summer residence is your property, and you have the right to dispose of it as your heart desires.
It’s good when you can help someone with advice or deed, but be careful. Listen to yourself and respect your opinion. If you don’t want something, try to refuse, if it doesn’t work, postpone the decision. Read the article again, select the tips that you liked the most, and start applying them tomorrow, or maybe you can do it today.