If a child receives care and love from the mother in the quantity he needs, he will then be able to feel protected, once in an unfamiliar social environment.
The childās attachment to the mother affects personality development and the ability to create personal relationships in adulthood.
Attachment theory
American psychologist John Bowlby developed an attachment theory. According to this theory , a child will be able to build normal trusting relationships only if, under the age of 3 years, he has developed a healthy attachment to his mother or guardian, who replaces her.
D. Bowlby designated attachment as a stable psychological connection, which is formed as a result of close interaction. This warm interaction gives the baby a sense of security from the unpredictable external world and a sense of confidence.
How to understand an adult that his childās affection has already taken shape? First, the child smiles when the guardian enters the room. Secondly, when he is afraid or alarmed, he seeks protection from the very adult with whom this warm relationship has developed.
Attachment Development
So how does attachment develop? Are attachment types formed for life, or not? The mental community of the child and the mother is not based solely on biological factors. The mother is obliged to make every effort to respond at the first call and never react negatively to infant cries.
According to the theory of Bowlby himself, attachment is formed in three stages.
- Stage from 0 to 3 months. Undifferentiated perception of care. Children react equally to everyone who talks to them, takes care of them.
- From 3 to 6 months. Focusing on familiar faces. A flutter and a smile show only to the guardian.
- The third stage is the period when the baby is actively exploring the world, but still needs support and support. From 6 months to 2 years - recognition and getting used to the characteristics of the mother.
After 3 years, he has a certain idea of āāthe reliability and responsiveness of his mother or guardian. If an adult can be trusted, the field of research is increasing, the child is behaving more boldly. If an adult is not responsive, does not support in endeavors, then the child is more anxious.
Also, attachment depends on the well-being of the baby. A sick child will be more capricious, because it needs more attention.
Types of Child Affection
A psychologist, a follower of D. Bowlby, Mary Ainsworth once conducted an experiment in which little children were left for a while with a stranger, all alone in an unfamiliar room. Then, at the end of the trial period, the mother returned to the room. All this time, the reactions of the child were observed by specialists.
- Type A - "avoiding." Those children who observed an evasive type of attachment during the experiment chose restrained behavior when the parent temporarily left them to play with the stranger. Upon returning, they reacted little to a person close to them. These children instinctively defend themselves from negative emotions, as they fear that a new attempt at rapprochement will again lead to a feeling of rejection.
- Type B. This is the only safe type of relationship between a child and a mother. Children worry during the absence of the parent, less curious. And upon the return of a loved one, they show great joy. Such attachment is called reliable.
- Type of affection C. Anxiety-resisting, or ambivalent. The child cries when the mother leaves, upon her return to the nursery hesitates between aggression towards her and excessive joy. This type of attachment is formed in conditions of existence that are very unsuitable for the child. Parents at times behave aggressively with the child, and then pamper and lisp.
After research by other psychologists (M. Maine and Solomon Ash), another one was identified - a disorganized type of attachment. This type will be in that child whose parent was emotionally inaccessible, could not reassure, and sometimes was even aggressive towards the baby. This group of psychologists also investigated the effect of attachment type on the formation of a childās personality.
Avoiding attachment. Effects
Those children who are not supported and who are not given signs of attention grow up with an avoiding type of attachment. Such babies ask little of their parents; they donāt require to be picked up. They learn to be independent, because they believe that they are left to their own devices and no one to ask for protection or help. They do not like to communicate with relatives. In social life, they behave detached. Very closed and vulnerable.
Alarm type
Anxious ambivalent attachment is not so common, only somewhere in 7-15% of children. These kids are constantly afraid, since it is impossible to predict the behavior of a parent: will he be there next time or will he need to leave home somewhere and leave him alone?
Parenting is inconsistent, and the child does not know how to behave with him the next time, and is not able to develop normal partnerships with parents. Children either try to attract attention with inappropriate behavior, or are afraid to even move away from their mother.
Affection and trust
Without normal trusting relationships with parents, the baby will have difficulty communicating with other children. Relationships in adolescence and adulthood are built on a special basic trust in people and the world as a whole. Children with a violation of attachment either avoid a close relationship all their lives, or still start a family, but are very unhappy in family life.
In close relationships in adulthood, people with an anxious type of attachment are constantly worried about how significant they are. Any refusal hurts them greatly, and in order not to hear it, they sometimes behave meticulously and courteously.
In social terms, the most dangerous disorganized type. Mentally unbalanced adults grow out of these children, who are unable to control their pain, aggression towards others.
Maternal deprivation. Kinds
The psychological deprivation of a child is the motherās inability to satisfy his basic emotional needs for acceptance, support and love. A child under three years of age is absolutely emotionally dependent on a guardian. If you do not teach him to love himself, he will not be able to do this in the future.
Deprivation is either full or partial. Complete - this is the absolute deprivation of the child, even physical connection with the mother. This is getting into children's homes or in a hospital for a long time.
Partial, or masked, deprivation involves the emotional coldness of the mother. In this case, sensory stimulation persists, but the child is sorely lacking emotionally-warm communication. All this is reflected in its further development.
The problem of personality formation of a child with attachment disorders
Weaning at a very young age threatens the child with the destruction of not only basic trust in the world, but also mental problems. The sooner the child is excommunicated or lacks emotional warmth, the more severe the pathological consequences will be.
A child can begin to show aggression, can become autistic, that is, closed in his own fenced off world. The baby is less interested in exploring the space around, intellectual development is suffering.
It is believed that after five months of separation from a mother under the age of 2 years, changes in the psyche remain for life. Intrapsychic trauma is so severe for a child. Children who are from birth in orphanages start to pronounce their first words late, are poorly trained, their movements are uniform and their fine motor skills are completely undeveloped.
Maternal affection
The first six months of life, the mother and child are mentally inseparable. The mother is so connected with the feelings and needs of the baby that she loses her āIā, her emotions and needs for a while. This symbiotic relationship is vital for the growth and development of the newborn.
However, not all mothers can provide this support to their child. Those women who in their early childhood did not receive proper attention, do not know how to accept the feelings of the child, since their own experiences are closed from the outside world and deeply suppressed.
The research of M. Maine and her colleagues showed the relationship of the warmth that a mother is able to give, based on her personal childhood experience. They interviewed already adults with families about their personal childhood experiences with their parents.
After this study, three types of maternal affection were identified:
- A confident person who is capable of openly talking about his childhood experiences. Children of such mothers are also open, confident and sociable.
- The second type of mother's affection is denial. Subjects deny the importance of affection between people when interviewed. Their young children were already showing signs of avoiding attachment.
- Type of parent concerned about the opinions of others. During the survey, such women do not have autonomy and are still trying to win the love and support of their own parents.
Other surveys were conducted in the 80s by psychologists S. Hazan and F. Shaver in order to determine how much the internal model of affection affects the construction of relationships in marriage.
Affection in adults. Diagnostics
So, the problems in the relationship between partners in marriage are also determined by the style of attachment formed in early childhood. To determine which of the four types (reliable - unreliable, or rejecting - fearful) an adult in close relationships will gravitate to, a test is performed.
Diagnosis of the type of attachment in adults was first carried out thanks to the test: āRelationship Questionnaireā, created by the same research psychologists S. Hazan and F. Shaver.
But in 1998, a new test was developed based on the ideology of K. Bartholomew and L. Horowitz. A questionnaire is now being used, similar to the one that was relevant in 1998. It consists of two scales displaying the level of anxiety and the desire for avoidance in a relationship. The test consists of 38 questions.
Conclusion
The article explored the concept of attachment, the development of attachment, types of attachment. Now it is clear how important for the child the influence of the mother in the first years of life. A reliable type of affection is the only healthy type of relationship between mother and child. And in the future only such children will be able to create a strong family based on trust and respect. It is most difficult to found a family for people with an avoidable type.